OH NO! I got junk in my trunk! (Courtesy of Yanko Design)

(If you googled “Orexia” hoping to find more about the sexual-enhancement drug, soooo sorry, wrong site.  Yup, keep looking.)

Nope, I’m talking about a sickeningly obsessive disease that I have developed over the past year… a form of self-infliced fear of carrying too much weight in my backpack…

PACK-OREXIA.  A disorder that makes me weigh every single piece of backpacking equipment I own.  My emergency rope?  51 grams or 1.8 ounces, depending on which system you prefer.  And I switched to parachute cord cuz its lighter.  I’ve taken all my consumables and put them into tiny containers.  I’ve combined my sunscreen with bug spray.  I’ve cut my toothbrush in half.  I’ve switched to a lighter stove!  (I went from a 15 ounce Jetboil- which boils water in 2 minutes, it’s MAGIC- to a 5 ounce Snow Peak Gigapower to now a 3 ounce cat food can that I throw denatured alcohol into and wait 20 agonizing minutes for water to boil.)  BUT…I HAVEN’T LOST THE WEIGHT!  I just haven’t.  My backpack and all its contents, according to my rabid mind, is TOO HEAVY.  Okay, it’s a lot LIGHTER than most people, but it’s still pretty heavy and definitely not lightweight in the least…. I’m far from my goal… I need to cut, cut, cut, snap off, trim, rip off more superfluous material. Some people go out on Friday nights, I stay home and modify my backpacking gear.

Traditional Backpacking 5 day/4 night base weight (not including food/water/consumables like fuel):20 lbs or more

Lightweight Backpacking 5 day/4 night base weight: 20 lbs or less

Ultra-Lightweight 5 day/4 night base weight: 10 lbs or less

Super-Ultra-Lightweight: 5 lbs or less

Where do I lie?  In the lightweight catagory cuz I still own a solo tent (3 lbs. 2 ounces) and my pack still weighs 3.5 lbs (I’ve cut all the extra straps and superfluous pockets… still cutting more…)… my sleeping bag is a nice 1.8 lbs and takes me down to 20 degrees easily…. but everything still weighs (with a required 2.7 lb bear canister if going into the Sierras… National Forests require them, ugh).. it all weighs… a WHOPPING 17 lbs!!!! Without food/water!  So granted, I can happily hop boulders at an easy 25-27 lbs for 5 days… but still….. I dream of carrying a dreamy 10 lb pack filled with a tarp (hmm, no bug protection) to sleep under, a simple 1 lb rucksack, and lots of

…. energy bars for breakfast, lunch, dinner.

WAIT!!!

Filipino Food always begs the question, "Didju eat?" Yum!

Nothing but energy bars?  That goes against all my filipino instincts of eating well.  I can’t imagine eating 10 bars a day… in fact, I’d hate to imagine the constipation.  But a dreamy 10 lbs on the back versus 25…. (sigh of lusty envy)

..Or Energy bars? Yuck, already looks like poo.

And to add to the Pack-orexia… it feels GOOD to scissor off clothing tabs and hack off a few ounces.  I swear, it’s like getting a new haircut after a break up.  It feels… clean. Reviving.  Hopeful.  My backpack stares at me saying, “Cut me.  Go ahead, just cut me.”

I’m sick. So sick.

My 'frien-emy', the scale