As a woman in the outdoors, there are major things to consider. Tent space, shoe size, backpack capacity. But the one demand I ask of myself while packing my gear: Do I LOOK GOOD in this outfit? I admit it, that even if I’ve been in the woods for 5 days and smell like 3 day old crusty vagina, I swear at least I’m wearing a moisture-wicking shirt in fuschia with a delicate lavender flower in the bottom left hand corner. 
And one thing I hate: CUPCAKES. That’s right. CUPCAKES. You know that ‘effect’ that happens when you’re cold, excited, or when your bra is old or unlined… all of a sudden, your nipples look like 2 little gumdrops peeping out from that merino wool technical tank-top. Perky little bastards. It’s like the woman’s version of an erect penis. You’re talking about this project you’re really passionate about and you notice your male counterpart is struggling to maintain eye contact… all because his eyeballs are now being poked out by your ever enlarging nips. Those little things rise like cake batter… you don’t even know its alive until you look down.
In any case, when you go outdoors for a long time (I’m talking about week long trips at least here), you have to find that perfect bra that doesn’t make every snap shot of you look like 2 cupcakes rising above your muffin top. (It’s enough that your muffin top is there.)
Some ideas:
Feels just like a real nipple-less breast!
1. DIMMERS. I love these things. I like to use them in all my unlined bras, even when I’m not outdoors. Little silicone covers that stick to your skin. Best $30 I ever spent. Although they have caused some embarrassment on post-date activities when I have to explain to my date that ‘no, I’m not trying to enhance my breast size; these are so you don’t have to say, “Hey, your headlights are on”‘. Con: They don’t breathe well so when your nips get super sweaty, it may start to feel a bit itchy.
Mmm, dampness at its finest!
2. MOLDED CUP BRAS. Fairly good idea. Better if the cups are removable. However, if they’re built in, you will have difficulty washing them every night (Since I only carry 1 change of clothing when I backpack, I wash my clothes at night and use the second outfit for the next day… it makes you smell better in the morning) because the ‘cups’ rarely dry by daybreak. If you don’t mind wet, possibly chaffing nips, this could be the way to go.
Come out, come out wherever you are!
3. DARK COLORED BRAS. For some strange reason, a black bra coupled with a black shirt hides the nipple bump better. It’s the equivalent of “black is slimming”. Black is “camouflaging” as well.
If anyone’s got any other tips, pass them on to me. Anyway, I’m off to start my long John Muir Trail trip. I’ll be wearing a black bra by the way.
“It’s like the woman’s version of an erect penis. You’re talking about this project you’re really passionate about and you notice your male counterpart is struggling to maintain eye contact… all because his eyeballs are now being poked out by your ever enlarging nips.”
Um, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten so passionate while discussing a project that I’ve gotten an erection … But I get your (two) point(s). :p
Finally, someone is addressing this! I didn’t even know there was a term for it (cupcakes! lol). I just refer to it as “nipple issues.” Yeah, all my go-to bras are definitely lined. Have you tried those nipple covers that are basically stickers for your boobs?
ummmm……personally I’m a fan of cupcakes….especially organic ones.
Safe travels….
4. Athletic tape is the best.
Unlike the nip covers, which I tried and found irritating like some kind of misplaced diaper rash, the tape lets your skin breathe. Also, it’s disposable and a roll will last you a long time. Best to put them on before the headlights turn on by themselves. The 1.5″ width is best for me, and I shoot for tearing off a 1.5-inch strip per nip. Don’t use too long of a piece or it will pucker, though I suppose it all depends on your nip size, curve, shape, etc. Sometimes I wear it instead of a bra if it’s really hot outside or if I don’t want bra straps showing under a tank.
now i’ll never look at cupcakes the same way again
and it’s awesome
I don’t understand this post. Well you put up some pictures so I can see what you’re talking about?
Athletic tape???? Everytime I use them, it looks like I have Xs on my tits.
I think the Xs look kinda cool. Like something some edgy magazine would do for a photoshoot. Or Lady Gaga.
THIS IS SOMETHING TO WORRY ABOUT?