NSFW Warning: This post contains pictures of animals doing the nasty and one image of Donald Duck groping Christina Aguilera’s bare boob!
Actor Nicolas Cage already has a reputation for being a bit odd and recent comments he made about his dietary habits will probably do nothing to change that. According to the British paper The Sun, Cage will only eat animals that have sex in a dignified manner.
He told the publication: “I actually choose the way I eat according to the way animals have sex. I think fish are very dignified with sex. So are birds. But pigs, not so much. So I don’t eat pig meat or things like that. I eat fish and fowl.”
So yes to fish, chicken and ducks. No to pigs. Not sure where cows fit into this, but since they are neither fish or fowl, assuming they are off limits too. Here’s a handy chart to break it down for you:
Has anyone heard of a diet like this? Before we dismiss Cage as an nut kook eccentric, I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt that there’s some sort of method to his madness. But I have to admit that I just don’t get it. You’re saying this isn’t dignified:
But this is:
And this also:
And even this:
And how do you really know that fish or fowl you’re about to eat has really been practicing dignified sex? How do you know you’re not eating something that’s done this:
Or this:
Or this:
Or this:
Or, finally, this:
Sorry, I lied. One more:
I also want to know what Cage’s wife Alice thinks about all of this? Because she’s Korean and if he’s extending this diet to her and denying her all that yummy Korean barbecue, I’d be worrying about the future of that marriage.
It’s bad enough he made her name their son, Kal-El. The kid’s already going to get his ass kicked in school every day, now you’re going to also potentially deny him the life-affirming solace he can find in some all-you-can-eat beef and pork bbq joint in Koreatown?
Finally, what other animals have dignified sex? Well, according to Cage, cockroaches:
Nicolas Cage Breakfast – For more funny movies, click here
Why does that picture of Cage and his wife look oddly photoshop’d?
Her smile especially.
Your ability to find photos of inter-species mating, and I’m including the photo of Cage in this, continues to astound me.
A, that was the most transparent excuse ever to post some really hot pix of animals sex, and
B, I hope Mr. Cage never finds himself in a Donner Party type situation, because if he had to eat a fellow homo sapien, he’d be in deep doo doo, as those doggies and ducks have nothing on us humans in terms of what happens in the barnyard, bedroom, bathroom, elevator, car, church confessional, or janitor’s closet.
As I was posting this, the thought I couldn’t get out of my mind was, “Damn, I just wasted all evening trolling the internet looking at pictures of animals fucking. This is what my life’s come to?”
[...] NICOLAS CAGE WILL ONLY EAT ANIMALS THAT HAVE DIGNIFIED SEX [...]
Didn’t know Mr cage had a Korean wife, I guess I learned something interesting today. What is dignified sex? Isn’t more like he eats animals that just don’t actually fornicate? Come to think of it, do birds even fuck? Maybe they are like fishes and the guy bird just spewed his seeds you know? Anyways.. good day ladies and gmen.
[...] I’m only doing this show to use as a stepping stone to my real career aspiration…becoming Nicolas Cage’s next Korean [...]