Last week, for some reason a friend wanted to take me to get a pedicure. He was a guy too, just for clarification. I was actually in more need of a massage due to countless hours of computer staring but sure, why not, I’ll try anything once. We hit up the Santa Anita mall to his “spot” for pedicures. My first instinct and question was, “Um, Are we gonna be sitting right inside the window for shoppers to see us?” Luckily they put us in the back completely away from anyone to see us…or me. Soaking in the feet with a watered light show. And out comes the ladies…oh lovely Vietnamese ladies. Stereotype…nah, well maybe. We were assigned a woman and off we go. Crunching, slicing, cutting, chewy…this was just the ladies eating their lunch in front of us before they started. Luckily the chair was one of those massage chairs or else I would have been complaining. But she began and it felt like royalty. NOT BAD RIGHT?! But then she decided to bust out a power tool. Something I would use to drill in screws. WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT ARE YOU DOING LADY?

She assured my safety in the process and my friend just laughed as he was on his ipad…I mean in pure relaxation. She said she was going to drill off all the dead skin on the bottom of my feet. WHAT! You mean my hard fought built up barrier of skin I’ve been accumulating from years and years of traveling through Asia and America. My only protection from germs and pollution when I walk barefoot everywhere. But then the drill hit my foot and skin started flying everywhere. I couldn’t bare to watch and just closed my eyes for the rest of the surgery. She then moisturized me up with about 3 or 4 different types of lotions. Green, white, off white, something else. She asked me if I wanted my nails buffed up but my friend recommended not to because it looked a little fruity. Hmmmmm, from the guy who took me here to get a pedicure.

Overall the experience was fun and something I never thought I would do. My feet were soft and literally cool in the hot weather. My toe nails were glistening and all my cuticles were pushed up perfectly. Who wants to lick my toes? I know every female on this earth has probably gotten a pedicure once in their life and has most likely went back for more. I, on the other hand probably won’t be planning on it unless I take a 10 mile hike into the swamp barefooted. Though I must say, she did get that black stuff off my nails that’s been there for the past three years and I wouldn’t mind borrowing that power tool drill and use it on…um, other spots.

I guess everyone is doing it.