More Proof The Japanese Are Freaks

A post today by Angry Asian Man about the bizarre packaging for Japanese Doritos once again reminds us how freaky the Japanese are:

doritosWe’ve already posted some blogs here on other examples of Japanese freakiness like this and this, but Angry Asian Man’s post made me think of other Japanese products that are just down-right strange. Here is a representative sampling:

Are the zero calories in water just too much for you? Then diet water may be the drink for you:

dietwater

Or maybe you’re sick of soda or juice and are thinking to yourself, “I wish someone would make a tasty beverage that tastes like kimchi.” Well, here you go (yes, I know the packaging is in Korean, but it’s sold in Japan):

kimcheedrink

If you’re like me, you wake up after a hard night of drinking and you have a breakfast craving for both milk and beer—two tastes that go so well together. No need to mix the drink yourself, just buy Bilk—the magical combination of beer and milk in a single bottle:

bilk

But the problem with milk is that it tastes like it comes from cows. If you’re nostalgic for the real stuff—the taste of milk from your mother’s breast–the Japanese have thought of that too:

mothersmilk

Say kids—do you wish you could drink beer like the grown-ups? Well, now there’s a beer designed especially for you:

kidbeerkidsdrinking

Cola comes in all different flavors—cherry, vanilla, chocolate—why not cucumber?:

pepsicucumber

Are you always on the run and don’t have time to sit down and eat a proper meal? Now you can get your salad in a can:

watersalad

Hey crack-hos, if it’s not enough for you to smoke or inject crack, now you can eat it for lunch:

cracksandwich

Out of Viagra? Here’s a candy that “makes you horny.” Bonus points: it is also “condom-flavored”:

candymakesyouhornytasteslikecondom

It seems like there is a whole market for condom-inspired snack treats. Witness this:

condomsnacks

Speaking of condoms, have you ever wanted to rock it with your lady like a Black man? Here’s the perfect condom for you. As the packaging says: “Stay real. We are all Brack people”:

blackcondom

Are these compatible with my iPhone?:

igum

Here’s a gum for our fellow Offender Roger who is now fearing a ninja attack from Tom Cruise (if the ninja is clad in pink, you have nothing to worry about):

ninja gum

Now, onto some other interesting sex-related items. Starting with nippless for your bust:

nippless1

Something to rest your head on:

lappillow

Something to ride:

horsething

And when you’re just too horny and want to get rid of some of that excess horniness:

horny_remover

A rapidly expanding mystery balloon for…whatever you use a rapidly expanding mystery balloon for:

rapidlyexpandingmysteryballoon

And finally, I have no idea what this is. If someone can figure this one out, let me know:

sextoy

12 thoughts on “More Proof The Japanese Are Freaks

  1. dude, that was seriously insane. the japanese truly push the envelope of marketing.

    if only putting on a black condom could turn me into a panther…that would be awesome

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  3. That last one is an “Anal Eye”. Do with that information what you will.

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  5. The last pic. (figure this out) is a funnel to open the rectum so that a flash light can be used to examine the contents of your anal cavity. . . or so I’m told.

  6. The japanese freak (woman visiting me) today ate the entire bag of vegetable italian salad alone. I made her breakfast, she did not want it altyhough she usually eats it. Not that we are in quarrel, no, we talk every day. This Freak expects me to marry her. Waits until she’s almost 50 and then shows up years later with a wish to be taken… A lazy, freakish, selfish piece of a woman. When she was 80% done with the bag of the salad I told her I’m gonna eat some, but when I turned around she ate the remaining salad leaving me with an empty bag on the table. So selfish and weird. It is my house, she is a visitor and I am nice to her. I clean everything, she does not clean much except her own stuff. Her room and bath is one big mess. In school I was fascinated by Old Japan, but did the modern Japan become a weird club of freaks?

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  10. A japanese freak (woman) stays in my house for over a month, I do everything for her, then she leaves and she says she may come back. Disappears, the writes to me, on her own schedule only. Then when I ask if i can come visit her in her state (U.S.) and stay at her place on the way travelling, she disappears and never responds. Very nice hospitality in exchange what I have done for her.

  11. Yet another japanese freak (woman) comes for a visit as a tourist, but wants to get f**ked every day. When one day of f**k is missed she gets upset. Then after there is time to leave she asks to get her airplane ticket monies back…. Nice friend.

  12. i just figured out what the last item was for. it’s a device to watch the inside of the anus :) poetic

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