No, I’m not talking about 4th Runner Up Miss Philippines “major, major” answer flub that somehow rocked the pageant world (since when did syntax matter in beauty pageants), but rather the public humiliation that comes in such perfunctory and blatant showcases of objectification. Oh, what am I kidding, these women are hot! They want to flaunt it, go ahead! I’ll stop and pause and watch and re-watch the swimsuit competitish any day. Well, that’s really the only part I’ll watch, since the rest is just too grueling to bear witness. It’s all really a cesspool of D-list stars, F-list announcers, and pretty much clueless hot women who are vying for a better sash, crown and eventually 10 seconds of fame.

And the questions!?! I don’t know if the Miss Universe pageant still is relevant, but it sure is on Youtube! Here’s the latest of Miss China’s sound effects fail: “Paaw..choooo!!!” “Hallooo… Hallooo…” Hey, I kind of think her sounds are pretty friggin’ cute, but whatever. I don’t get why this video is truncated on the Miss Universe site, with just Miss China making weird noises, while eventual winner Miss Mexico’s video is actually a real Q & A and the stupid sound effects thing-a-ma-bob: Sage advice, sweetheart. Hey, I’m sensitive, and lovely and can express my feelings in an easy way too. And I’ll dry clean your sash any day… Maybe it’s a western/eastern hemisphere thing, but her cow mooing and robot voice of “I’m Miss Mexico” surely makes her the major, major winner.

(Thanks to Kevin Lim for the link)