Regular readers of this blog know that we often get emails from non-Asian women who dig Asian guys asking for advice on how to snag some of that tasty yellow man meat for themselves. I’ve tried to help these ladies when I can (see past examples here and here), but according to this latest report, the answer to their yellow-fevered prayers may be to get their fine booties over to Vietnam.
It seems the country is about to experience a serious gender imbalance. For every 100 females that are born in Vietnam, 110.6 males are born (compared to the norm of 105). Other Asian nations are also experiencing similar imbalances, but it’s happened over a longer period of time and those rates are starting to even out.
According to Vietnam’s Deputy Prime Minister Nguyen Thien Nhan, this situation may grow so severe that 3 million men will find it difficult to find wives by 2030. While this may sound like a problem for Vietnam, it is a golden opportunity to all of you looking to hook yourself an Asian man.
Think about it—there are going to be 3 million extremely horny Vietnamese men just waiting to be plucked by anything with boobs and a vagina that walks on two legs. That means you can be the butt ugliest chick in the world and you will still score. You can look like the bastard offspring of the Elephant Man and the boy with the hairy werewolf disease and you’ll still have a line of Vietnamese men breaking down your door. ‘Cause I guarantee you that these dudes will get to the point where anything is better than taking turns fucking that water buffalo grazing in their backyard.
Now, I’m Korean so I’m not playing favorites when I say that Vietnamese men might be the most awesome of the Asian male populace. You don’t have to worry about them blowing all your money at the Hustler Casino like with Chinese guys. You don’t have to worry about them getting drunk and beating your ass every night like with Korean guys. You don’t have to worry about them dressing up like Hello Kitty and urinating on your face during sex like with Japanese guys. And as for Filipino and South Asian guys…well, come on, we know they’re not “real” Asians so let’s not even worry about them.
But here’s what makes Vietnamese men truly awesome: when the far “superior” American military came into their country with the most advanced weapons and artillery, the Vietnamese defeated their better armed and trained enemy using whatever they had at their disposal. In other words, they kicked ass against guns, tanks and bombs with weapons made out of bamboo branches while wearing pajamas and straw hats. Tell me that isn’t badass!
And if you need further proof of the awesomeness of Vietnamese men, check out my fellow Offender Anderson. Talk about badass:
I’ve already proclaimed in a previous blog that he’d be one of the guys I’d fuck if I were gay or a chick so enjoy all that is Anderson:










damn, us chinese guys would blow all your money at the casino.
sure, and all the Viet poker players at the casinos are some secret cabal of Chinese pretenders.
why don’t you mention the trend of S.Korean men marrying Vietnamese and other SE Asian women?
Wow, this all sounds really tempting!!!
First class ticket please!
Aww, Offender Anderson is cute–I like his hair. (I’m happily married, though.)
I don’t know phillip. I’m Vietnamese and I would have to say Asian Americans are the best bet for any non-asian woman looking for that Asian dude. It gets complicated when you go to Asia. In the silicon valley all you need to do is go to the local gym and strike up a conversation, no need to buy a plane ticket.
You get the best of both worlds here actually.
Sorry to be such a downer, I love our people to death, but we have issues like everyone else.
btw, Vietnamese can hold our own on with the gambling craziness.
Hey, good article!
Perhaps I shall get a ticket. Hmm…
I was also looking at your past articles dealing with this topic. You should do a list of things Asian dudes should do to try to get with the sistas. Just one thing to avoid putting on the list: PLEASE don’t mention something about chicken. Please? (ok, I do like chicken, but that is beside the point)
“You don’t have to worry about them blowing all your money at the Hustler Casino like with Chinese guys.” Uhh…yeah you do. But at least I know my Vietnamese man will be able to kick ass.
Ok I want that “Vietnamese Men” t-shirt. Hilarious!
that’s what i’m saying. those world poker champions must be some sort of secret Chinese society pretending to be Viets
on the other hand, if women want men who will carry things for them and are easy to boss around, then Chinese men are the ideal partners:
http://www.chinasmack.com/2010/pictures/brother-power-naked-chinese-man-vs-modern-society.html
http://www.chinasmack.com/2010/stories/fuzhou-woman-viciously-beats-man-after-minor-accident.html
looks like the censorship has started. this is why Asians will always be on the bottom of the totem poll
+++++++
on the other hand, if women want men who will carry things for them and are easy to boss around, then Chinese men are the ideal partners:
http://www.chinasmack.com/2010/pictures/brother-power-naked-chinese-man-vs-modern-society.html
http://www.chinasmack.com/2010/stories/fuzhou-woman-viciously-beats-man-after-minor-accident.html
Chunks,
What happened to empowering the Asian male?
Hilarious.
[...] LOOKING TO SNAG AN ASIAN DUDE? WELL, GIRL, THEN GET YO ASS TO VIETNAM!: [...]
peerip,this is hilarious. filipinos not really asians? smh…
@biggi i hope ur kidding cus none of this sounds tempting.
@kurlykolly
Don’t worry, it was a joke!!!
… but Offender Anderson is so cute!!!
Awesome, and now to make booby traps for all women who want a Vietnamese man like me. Nevermind that Im not in Vietnam.
Anderson – How did you get your hair to do that??
@robs
“Its a boody trap!”
“Booby trap?”
“Yeah thats what i said, boody trap!”
-Goonies