Next to having a chinese pony tail or wearing slippers all day, the art of the squatter is probably one of the most lost traditions of our time. I, for one am a true believer and lover of the squatter. Its obviously the same concept as doing it in the bushes while camping but in Asia, squatters have not evolved much throughout the years. Though honestly, something about squatting makes me feel like I truly got everything out of me. A pure cleansing if you will. Since most cities in Asia still have very old plumbing systems, you’d be lucky to find a Western toliet. So preparation is a must. Lets explain.

First off, realizing what kind of pants you are wearing is key. Normally, since I’m not into the cutting off circulation type pants like kids these days, my pants are normally a bit baggy. So either do the 90′s pegged pants style fold or a manual two big folds up will do. Afterall, shitting onto your pants stinks.








Then finding the right grip for your feet is important. Placement for your feet will help in accuracy of the bombing and stability for the length of time you will be squatting. Remember to balance on the heal and not the toes of your feet. Surprisingly, only some people can squat correctly. Though I don’t recommend squatting for more than five minutes. Cramping and soreness will occur unless you have been trained with the horse stance growing up.


In Asia, ALWAYS carry around spare toilet paper. Even though most malls will sell you paper before entering, the quality of paper can only be described as rice paper or 1/2 ply thickness. In every pants, shorts, backpack, or anything I have with pockets, I always have a bundle of tp ready to go. I truly don’t understand how people in Asia can use only a few squares. Or how they throw the used shit paper in the trash. But maybe I’m just spoiled.

And most importantly, the readiness of the event is key. If at home or apartment, I like to pre-squat to conjure up the feeling giving myself minutes before takeoff. But if outside, its usually an emergency type situation. Therefore prep time is just finding a squatter quickly. Usually drinking the tap water will help with that.

Sometimes I run into questionable toilets or pissers such as this one. Is this a sink to wash your hands because it has a faucet or a pisser because its at such perfect height? But what’s even sweeter at times is since its in Asia, either there’s no doors, locks, walls in between squatters like you see in the first picture at the top…or you get cool ancient locks such as this one for great privacy.

Although most spoiled Western people such as myself who have never needed to squat ever in their life would even think about using such a dirty hole, millions if not billions of people use it everyday. I for one now appreciate the small things in life and now wish I could have a squatter back home. Maybe a combination Western and squatter toilet.