While fellow offender Phil’s working on his Judgment Day booty call list , I am also thinking about how to spend my last moments of existence before the apocalypse descends. It’s pretty clear that despite being a good girl most of my life, I’ve been a theocratic slut keeping company with Atheists, Buddhists, Hindus, Muslims, and all variety of hardcore non-believers who like me, won’t be getting past the velvet rope to heaven. So naturally, these last few hours would be best devoted to doing the thing that has made my life worth living and that’s eating. If I could have my version of the last supper, I’d have a mile long table with family, friends and some celebrity guests including masters of ceremonies Tina Fey, John Stewart, and Anthony Bourdain to keep the atmosphere upbeat. Jonathan Gold will help curate the menu and tell us what we’re eating. We’d have a massive multicourse meal and eat until the ground breaks wide open and consumes us. All you yomyomf offenders, readers, and heathens are invited. As I only have a few hours, logistically I’ll have to pull this off in LA but lucky for me, LA has lots of good ‘last meal’ choices. Lots of gut-busting soulful stuff that will keep us happily filled up as we wait for the hellfire to engulf us. Any suggestions welcome.
Here’s my wish list which is by no means comprehensive – some notable dishes which I have rhapsodized about previously in my blogs and have included links below.
Sushi omikase from Nozawa. Extra uni and king crab rolls please!
“Pig candy” – brown sugar baked bacon from Lou’s.
Uni pasta from Locanda Portofino
Handcrafted martinis and lobster roll from Hungry Cat.
Hot pastrami sandwiches from Langer’s. Lots of pickles and Russian dressing.
Kobe beef barbeque from Park’s.
Ross Gui with the butter fried kimchi rice from Dong Il Jang.
Hainan Chicken from Savoy – it’ll be my first and last time as I’ve never managed to justify the mile long wait to get my Hainan Chicken on and instead always went to Dong Nguyen on Valley.
“Three Cup” frog legs from MPV BBQ Seafood – basically they are frog legs fried in basil leaves and sweet soy. I converted a friend to the glories of eating the frog who called it the best of chicken and fish in one.
Szechuan fried chicken nuggets from Chung King. “Crack” with a szechuan pepper kick.
Tacos Al Pastor with the smokey spicy green salsa from El Taurino.
Bowl of salt ramen with special pork from Santouka Ramen.
Fried pork belly and Chinese broccoli from Yai.
Classic burger from Father’s Office.
A slice of “Grandma” plum tomato and basil pizza from Tomato Pie.
Ramps and bacon pizza from Mozza Pizzeria.
Shrimp with lobster sauce from Uncle John’s.
Pecan and banana cream pies from House of Pies.
Coconut cream and raspberry pies from Dupar’s.
Fig gelato from Pazzo Gelato.
Strawberry and coconut shaved ice from Raspado Express.
Fresh from the fryer french cruller and apple fritter from any Cambodian-owned donut shop.
Churros from the mysterious churro cart man who never returned to his spot on 8th and Irolo. Made me wonder if there was a Spanish language Craig’s List where I could put up a missed connections ad.
Gooey, old-school fudge sundae with nuts from Fosselman’s Ice Cream.
Final heart attack dishes-
Who cares about the tons of fat and cholesterol at times like this?
Bone Marrow al forno from Mozza
Chicken fried steak and patty melt from Patsy’s Country Kitchen in Banning. It’s worth the stretch!