The other day I saw an older person at the coffee shop wearing a T-shirt that said…
Only, unlike this T-shirt model, they were actually…old. The T-shirt company sissy-ed out, if you ask me. And in case I wasn’t 100% sure that still reading a paper newspaper made me seem like an 80 year old already, I found these two ads in it:
On long road trips, I’ve fantasized about wearing a diaper. But I want the option of keeping it a fantasy, not worrying about real life out-of-pocket incontinence costs.
The answer, of course, is yes. But what makes this ad truly horrifying is a new phrase I haven’t heard yet:
Dowager’s Hump. There’s a actually a cruel sounding name to describe stooped over old ladies. So there it is: the golden years mean pissing yourself and turning into the Hunchback of Notre Dame.
Not for sissies, indeed.
Next time you ask an older person how they are, and they begin to tell you about aching knees, burning shingles, or varicose veins, shut the fuck up and nod sympathetically – we’ll all be there too one day.