I loved you Michelle Kwan, I loved you hard.  Did not my sexy love poem scribed with the blood of my loins inspire you to become a Fan?  Twas my offerings of eternal love, worship, and a lower, middle-class life not enough?  Apparently not.  48 hours of silence can truly deafen a wanton heart.  My soul is cracked and my audacity to hope, guillotined.  All I have left now is my Ni Hao Kai Lan doll with aluminium foil skates (I made them myself) and an ego the size of an ant testicle.  I loved you.  I love you.  I will forever love you.  But I’m a big boy and I can take a hint…

Your future career in law & diplomacy was the wedge that ultimately divided us. I know, I know.  You’re taking one for the team.  Your silence towards my love poem says it all.  For you and I to be one would have been the lesser of two loves.  For you and I to be one would have denied the world an angel of healing it so desperately needs right now.  I know how badly you wanted to be with me, the UPS, Kmart, McDonald’s, Ace Hardware, Zales Jewelers guy.  We would have had a pimp life together, that’s for sure.  But the world needs you, Michelle Kwan.  The world needs you more than you need me (but only barely).  Knowing this, I will do the most noble of deeds and rip off the umbilical chord that attaches my heart to yours and bid you a bittersweet adieu.  Sometimes life gives you lemons.  Somehow we’ll have to find a way to make lemonade without each another – alone & forlorn.  And though I may have a smile on my face, know that I will forever be crying inside like a little school boy who lost his lunch money on cheese pizza day.  Adieu my love.  Perhaps someday, in some other reality we can and shall be one…

p.s.  you are my first love MK.  but given that we cannot unite, I am forced to leave the middle kingdom to find someone 2nd best to journey through this mortal life with.  just know that you will forever be my gold medal girl.

p.p.s.  my search has taken me to the heart of the South Korean peninsula: YU-NA KIM.  I am preparing my love poem for this Korean ice siren as we speak.  My “Ode de Amor Han-Gook” will be coming very soon.  Saranghaeyo long time…

Saranghaeyo long time...