I’m not sure if the contemporary, Mongolian male is qualified to teach an Asian American male how to be more manly (or vice versa).  I’ll explain why in a second.  This is in response to our most recent Guest Offender blog by Anne Ishii about Mangolia (which btw, I thought was very well written and funny.  Her personal blog is pretty rockin’ too).  I think Anne’s opinion is valid and very well thought out.  But, as an Asian American male, I would like to present a different point of view.  But before I start, a personal message to Anne…

To Anne – you rock and don’t kick me in the balls the next time you see me.  The fact that I’m writing something in response to your very well-penned blog is my ultimate compliment to you.  It takes a great deal of inspiration to get me to write.  Wet kiss all over (and under).

Here goes…

UB City (aka Ulan Bator) is one of the most isolated and poorest cities in the world. There are few, continuous roads that lead out of the city and fully connect a traveler to other places like Terelj, Erdenet, Darkhan, etc.   To get there, you have to take a 4×4 and traverse over paths of dirt, mud, rocks and occasional road to get from point A to point B (which I’m sure Anne experienced this while in Mongolia).  So poor is this nation and city that pretty much all of the global (western & eastern) fast food and clothing chains have yet to set up business in UB City.   Why?   Is it because Mongolians would reject McD’s, Burger King, Pizza Hut, Gap, Target, etc?   No.   It’s because the population is so sparse (1mm in UB City and almost 3mm in all of Mongolia) and per capita income is so low that none of these global chains have an economic incentive to set up shop there.

If you walk the streets of UB City you’ll notice something very, very interesting – there are very few billboards, ads, etc. (which I find awesome).  And even more, as a westerner, you will not recognize any of the ads if you were to see one (you see Coke, McD’s, etc. in the far reaches of Africa, S. America, China, etc). To be in UB City is to be trapped in modern time limbo. UB City, though poor, is becoming modern but it’s also uniquely isolated from western capitalistic expansion and hence media inundation. There are no pictures of Brad Pitt and the watch he prefers or Madonna hawking her Louis Vuitton or David Beckham sporting his bump via Calvin Klein. There’s virtually none of that. Also, there isn’t magazine stands with rows and rows of Maxim, Car&Driver, Dupont Registry, Architectural Digest, Playboy, etc and there is very little variety on Mongolian TV.   Why?   Economics.  If people can’t buy it and the global mega corporations cannot project enough potential, positive growth to justify investing in an area, they’ll just stay out.   And stay out of Mongolia they have (except for one area – commodities.  but i’ll save that for a different time).  And as a result, Mongolia & UB City is pretty much an unspoiled city & people, their minds and souls not yet infected or challenged by the images, media, and ideals of Western Capitalism.

What does this all mean?  Two things…

1)  Mongolian cultures, values, traditions, gender roles, and self-confidence are more easily maintained on a day to day basis by the average Mongolian, young and old.  Because the society is not overly inundated by media trying to warp their needs into wants in order to sell them stuff (creating dissatisfaction of self, status, stuff, body, clothes, cars, etc. sells a lot of crap real fast), the Mongolian people’s minds are not as distracted as Westerners or as preoccupied by “getting more”.  That sort of influence has yet to really settle into their culture because the global powers that be just don’t see a market there (yet).

2)  You have to earn and create your identity in Mongolia.  In most modern, Western nations, people see images of what is cool via TV, movies, magazines, etc. and they just go to the mall and buy that image from the store.  Then they take those clothes and marry them to the personalities they find so attractive (way of talking, walking, aura) and presto, a new you is created.  Basically, many folks in the West are either buying, borrowing, or quickly adopting their personalities but not earning it.  They are exposed to outside influences and basically cover, paint, and adopt what they think is cool without ever having to do the internal work of naturally cultivating their personal and true image.  In short, a good number of people in the west are just faking it.  It’s not so easy in Mongolia.  This is not to say that Mongolians are 100% pure and know themselves authentically.  Nowhere is there a true Shangri-La.  But for those Mongolian youth who have access to the internet and see stuff they think is cool, they can’t just go to the mall and buy it.  Why?  Because their malls most likely do not carry it.  And, there are no malls (there are big stores but not a Western mega mall).  Women’s fashion in UB City is quite amazing.  It’s unique.  Why?  Because the ladies there have to build it themselves.  If they see something they like of a Western name brand, most likely, they will have to go to their local fashion marts and piece together stuff that most approximates their thoughts.  Basically, they have to build it, they have to earn it.

Which brings us back to men, Asian American men, and how they could learn a thing or two from Mongolian men.  True or not true?  There certainly does exist a self-assured, non self-conscious man essence running through the veins of many Mongolian men (especially those outside of UB City who live the nomadic life).  I saw a lot of that traveling through many parts of the country.  However, this is something that may not last for very much longer.  IMHO there are two Mongolias – one based on a nomadic lifestyle, forced to retain the beauty of it’s culture due to basic survival and needs.  And another Mongolia, the youth, though very small but growing fast, bursting at the seams ambitious to modernize, to Westernize, and to change.  I believe, inevitably, that the latter will ultimately win out.  How long will it take?  Who knows.  But when it does happen, many of the Mongolian ideal core values of family, honor, masculinity, gender balance, etc. will be severely tested and perhaps forced to change significantly.

To go to Mongolia as an Asian American man (or just plain man) and to learn to be more masculine and less self-reflexive from the Mongolian male is more a study in archeology than it is a study of the future.  In many ways, Mongolia is a “preserved” society, one which has not modernized through the influence of western capitalism and ideals (at least not yet).  And, as such, has not yet encountered or felt the unbelievable social and spiritual upheaval that can occur when smacked by the Herculean bat that is Western & Eastern modern capitalism.  Not to take away from the Mongolian culture or my guy friends in UB City (for I wish the world exhibited more of the beauty that is Mongolian culture), but I wonder if the Mongolian male and their masculinity and less self-reflexiveness only exists because their society/culture has yet to be formally challenged by the most imposing of outside forces (at least in the last 100 years.  prior to that, the Mongolians were the ass kickers).  How will things change if and when the multi-national, capitalistic conglomerates decide to officially take root and populate through Mongolia?  Who knows.  But if history is any indicator, immigrating, modern capitalism will morph indigenous culture into something much more self-reflective of their personal ideals, values, and points of view.  Basically, it will either redefine Mongolian culture to suit it’s capitalistic needs or, if that proves to slow or challenging, replace it with their own.

Mega-metal Genghis Khan. His legend dwarfs this monument...

It’s easy to say Asian American men have issues, they’re less secure with their masculinity, and they’re just insecure males when compared to the other types of males (black, white, latin, etc) that populate American society.  I don’t fully agree with this but I don’t fully disagree either.  I am an Asian American male and I can personally validate that there are truths to those comments (unfortunately).  But to say something so casually and then say “go to a foreign country like Mongolia to learn to be more manly, more masculine” is not exactly logical.  The Asian American male entered into American society much later into our nation’s modernization.  JP Morgan, Marcus Goldman, Andrew Carnegie, John D. Rockefeller, etc. had been on the American playground for a long time establishing rules, laws, and precedence that would turn American into the world superpower that it is today.  But it’s those same rules, laws, and precedence that would make it very, very difficult for any new party (new immigrants) to come in and make a grab for economic, social, or political status or power.  But this isn’t news to anyone really.  Try going to China today as a white guy and becoming a CEO of a Chinese company or becoming the country’s leader or becoming a dominant media personality.  Is it possible?  Sure (sort of).  But the cards are stacked severely against you and making it happen may take many years, decades, and most likely generations of your people pushing for and demanding change.  Balance doesn’t happen overnight.  So back to America… the plight of the Asian American male and all of his insecurities is really a by-product of the Asian American male butting up against the pre-establishment and wanting something better for him and his future.  There are those who want and those who have.  And unfortunately for the Asian American male, more often than not, they are relegated to the “want” category.  And because of that, there are a lot of sociological and psychological definitions thrown upon them that are less than flattering.

So who’s at the bottom of the social pickle barrel of America?  Truth be told, the Asian American male has been down there for quite some time now.  And though things are beginning to change, the fact still remains that the Asian American male image has yet to shed it’s more beta male aura.  Now I’m not going to bore you with those details as this is something that has been debated in many an ethic studies class for years and is something I find personally boring and a waste of productive time.  But if I were to venture out and say anything, my thought is this – you can’t really, truly understand it unless you personally lived it.  Most Asian American males will get what I’m saying.  But as of late, many of them are saying “fuck that” and going on to kick some ass in ways that the Asian American male has not in the past.  This is great.  It’s progress.  But we still have a ways to go.  Again balance (not dominance) takes time.  As for the Asian American female?  To the AA female, the plight of the Asian American male may never, truly be fully understood or authentically empathized, for the status and position of the Asian American female in today’s American society is and has been fundamentally different (this logic applies the other way too.  I don’t think an AA dudes will truly understand what it’s like to be an AA gal).  This is not to say that it has been easy for the Asian American female, but in contemporary American society, an Asian American female has many more positive and desirable associations attached to their aura when compared to that of the Asian American male.  Or, to put it bluntly, Asian American females get invited to the party while the Asian American males do not.  (Again, I don’t think it’s been easy for the AA female.  All I’m saying is that from the perspective of the pickle barrel of social desirability and acceptance, the AA female has ranked much, much higher than to that of the AA male for a long time.  And from a dating perspective, AA females are more universally accepted by all ethnicities of American men (and globally) while the AA male is still trying to justify his worth to ladies of all colors and varieties).

So no, I’m not going to Mongolia to go consult with a Mongolian male to learn how to be more masculine and less self-reflexive.  It’s not logical.  The Asian American male has been tested by some seriously adverse social conditions while Mongolia and it’s men have yet to be put through the same contemporary rigors.  And tested they will be some day soon.  Yes, I know Mongolia has had a history of global conquest on the backs Takhi horses led by the great Genghis Khan.  It was and will forever be a most glorious history.  For many years, the Mongolian male was the global alpha dude.  But that was a long time ago in a time long past.  As for the more recent decades, Mongolia has been left in relative isolation, a bit lost in time as much of the world around it modernized and evolved.  How Mongolia’s culture and the demeanor of it’s men will evolve or change when Western/Eastern modern capitalism comes marching in has yet to be determined.  Only time will tell.  But if you go to UB City today and take a look around, Korean pop culture is beginning to take hold and ignite the fasciations and minds of Mongolia’s youth.  Korea over the years has increased it’s business presence in the country.  So much so that one of the two main streets running through UB City is named Seoul Street (I’m sure Genghis Khan did not intend for this to happen).  The youth are opting to learn Korean and beginning to fantasize over Korea’s way of modern life.  The girls are beginning to idolize Korean stars and many of the Mongolian male youth want to be like them too.  Sound familiar?  Only time will tell if the uber-masculine, less self-reflexive Mongolian male identity will survive this inevitable thrust into modern times.  But if history is an indicator, there are those that want (masses) and those that have (elite).  For many years, during the era of Genghis Khan, the Mongolians were on the have side.  This time around, they are on the other side, the want side – just like the Asian Americans in North America today.  I’ll give Mongolia 25 years and see how the social, political, and economic strata fall.  Only then will we know for sure if the uber-masculine, less self-reflexive Mongolian male was just a by product of geographical isolationism or truly the result of the indomitable DNA and moxie of Mongolia’s ultimate father, the great Genghis Khan.

Sukhbaatar Square. The center of UB City