How Come Pubic Hair Stops Growing, but the Hair On Your Head Doesn’t?

Let’s see what the hoi polloi at Yahoo Answers had to say:

Stillwaters says, “Pubic hair doesn’t stop growing, the curls just get tighter, so it looks like it stops growing.”

Hmm.  Okay.  Maybe.

Itzel says, “This is the kind of thing you get curious about?”

Yes, Itzel, it is.

CAE says, “Best guess I can make on why it don’t grow long like the hair on our head is GOD knows what HE’S doing!!!”

Interesting.  Perhaps we should just trust in a Higher Power on pubic matters.

Fleur de Lis points out, “No one really knows why the hair on our head has such a long growth cycle.  There are some great evolutionary theories though – you can just imagine early man with long flowing locks getting all the ladies and passing on his freaky hair genes!”

I’m guessing the ex-Mrs. Perry doesn’t do too shabby for himself.

Starrdev has an interesting take: “Different hair for a different purpose.  Hair on your head is to insulate your brain.  The longer and floppier it is, the better it is.  Hairy armpits grow to a certain length because they are designed to.  Long pubic hair would interfere with reproduction, well it might when we were evolving.  If we had long hair on our arms and body we would look like gorillas!”

Insulate your brain and try not to look like a gorilla, eh?

So I guess The Rock’s brain is always catching cold and guys with carpets on their back aren’t getting much?

Sophie replies that “I never tried to shave my privates, can’t really help you with that, sorry.”

Phew!  Someone else who cherishes the natural days of the 70’s.  I mean, sure, a little trimming, a little routine upkeep is fine, but I don’t want to confuse postpubescent genitalia with prepubescent genitalia.

In his own confusion and/or disgust, James merely writes, “what???”

Fair question.

Mizzbee suggests “I guess it’s more a matter of perception.  You may be spending too much time keeping the growth at bay and shaving too frequently.  Have you tried the Seiko Cleancut shaver?  It only takes a few minutes each week to maintain a completely smooth appearance.”

Is it cynical of me to wonder if Mizzbee’s employer in the Seiko Corporation?

Okay, so what is really going on here?  Why don’t we have pubic hair down to our ankles?

Simple: it falls out quicker than the hair on our head does.  Head hair can go years before falling out, whereas pubes give up the ghost after only a few months to make room for more, newer, shinier pubes.

That’s it.  It just falls out quicker.

Some other comforting facts I picked up:

It’s not unusual for women to have a few terminal hairs around their nipples.   A little gross, maybe, but not unusual.

Why pubic hair at all?

Zoologist Desmond Morris believes that pubic hair acts as a scent trap.  Napoleon is rumored to have begged his wife Josephine not to bathe for months at a time, so he could fully revel in the stanky stuff.

Pubic hair belongs to that category of hair called androgenic hair, or body hair.  Here is a diagram showing the disgusting development of human body hair.

Frankly, my own inner thighs gross me out, but my wife hasn’t said anything….yet.  If she did, I’d break out the Seiko Cleancut in a hot minute.  And on the flipside, if she didn’t take care of her calves and pits, you’d find us in divorce court yesterday.

Sorry, there are some things about men and women which just should not overlap.  Period.

 

One thought on “How Come Pubic Hair Stops Growing, but the Hair On Your Head Doesn’t?

  1. If you look at how a hair follicle grows, this would explain why pubes are thicker; it has nowhere to extend to, unlike the hair on our heads. It doesn’t “stop” growing. And the enhanced heat makes it kink up, like a Bonzai tree. Now I introduce another set of universal questions: Does Superman shave his pubes? If so, how does he do it? Would Lois put out if he didn’t?

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