There really is a volume discount.  That’s because siblings share bedrooms, clothing and toys, and parents buy in bulk.

Forget global warming and your carbon footprint: families with three or more children spend 22 percent less per kid than parents with a brood of two or fewer.

Dammit!  Knew my wife and I should’ve had more than two!

On the upside, according to the SPCA, owning a large dog – at least in the first year – costs a measly $1843.

Compare that with owning a human pet, which averages between $12, 290 and $14,320 a year to keep them clothed, fed and housed.

But let’s say you want to do more than just feed the critters and keep them dry in a rain storm.  Let’s say you want to send them to college, pay for piano lessons, and take a vacation or two.  Well, now we’re talking six figs.  To keep a kid alive and thriving until age 17 will set you back $234,900 – you could probably buy four houses in Detroit for that!

Why does the U.S. Department of Agriculture – yes, that’s right, the agency in charge of other livestock like cows and sheep – keep tabs on all this?  Because that’s what helps the government determine guidelines for child support guidelines and foster care payments.

Man, I gotta get in on this foster care racket – that’s practically free money if you buy generic Cheerios at Costco!  And who says Cheerios doesn’t make a splendid dinner?  Heated food?  Super over rated.

And by the way, there is a HUGE gap in what parents will shell out for their offspring based on their income level.  A family earning less than $59,410 per year will cough up $169,080 for each kid, whereas families earning $102,870 or more annually will spend $389,670.  That’s a $220,590 difference, people!   That first family could crank out nearly 1-2/5 extra kids on what the wealthier family pays for one.

Now we just need a study on what the effects of having your every whim granted before you reach age 16 – are, on a little something called happiness and self-worth.

Is there a dollar figure we can place on having to make your own way?  Not sure, but I’m guessing it’s a smidge more than raising a large dog for a year.