With the announcement today that Hostess is shutting down operations, a number of disturbing questions are raised. Foremost among these questions is this–if indeed this means the death of Twinkies (one of Hostess’ most popular “food” products), what food-related term will we use instead to insult Asians who are “yellow on the outside and white on the inside”?
Yes, I realize we still have the traditional go-to-standard—the banana—but that’s become the lazy man’s slur. It’s too obvious, too overused, too cliché—frankly, it just doesn’t have the same impact anymore.
Considering that the Twinkie has a shelf life of one billion years, it’s possible that even if Hostess were to stop manufacturing them right this second, that they’ll still be around for a long time and calling an Asian a Twinkie will still be an acceptable part of the zeitgeist. But also consider that many stores are already reporting a run on Twinkies which means there’s a very real chance that they may disappear sooner than we can imagine. It’s possible that Twinkies may be forgotten as soon as the next generation (insert sound of chill going down my spine).
So just to be safe, I propose that we find a new food item that is yellow on the outside and white on the inside that we can work into the cultural lexicon immediately to describe our fellow white-washed Asians. Only problem is—when you take away the Twinkie and the banana, does such a food item even exist? I challenge our readers to think long and hard—does anything else come to mind that is yellow on the outside and white on the inside? It’s a tough one, isn’t it?
Well, lucky for you, I’m here to do the heavy thinking and I have come up with the perfect substitute food item to serve this function. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you…the yellow squash!
Look at that pic—yellow on the outside, white on the inside.
And you’re welcome. All I ask is that everyone start using “yellow squash” in casual conversation to describe your whitewashed Asian friends and acquaintances. It’s easy and I’m sure with your support, it’ll become the go-to slur in no time. So when your Asian friend suggests you go to Panda Express for lunch instead of an “authentic” Chinese joint, make sure to turn to him and say, “Dude, you are such a yellow squash!” Wow, that just rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?
Bananas will still be around. Unless… Dole or Chiquita decides to go out of business and put their slaves out of work. Then Hollywood will make a movie out of it starring Leo DiCap and Djimon Hounsou… and Sung Kang. LOL
Seriously, only an Asian person (either Chinese or Japanese at that) would worry about something as stupid as that. Stop shitting on yourselves already, U already have dumb movies like Slant, Yellow and Chink to that for U already!
The death of twinkies. Asian twinkies will still exist or is this a premontion of them coming back to their roots. Like Eastfist said we still have Bananas and Coconuts to throw around. Now will Lemon gain any traction.
@Dman
I’m more interested in those who use delicious foods as attempted insults. Their wires must be crossed. They have the instilled-hatred of an adult (contrived racism), but the imagination of a toddler (obvious metaphor based on color only).
The history of slurs, if you actually examine it, has words and ideas that are very childish and basic. Why we react to them so strongly is something we need to reevaluate.