One Good Thing


Doing Dell crossword puzzles makes me feel like Einstein’s great grandson.  You can find them for about three bucks at the supermarket checkout.  In fact, my copy says so right on the cover: “Find us at the checkout!” That’s how you know it’s important.  Just like Rolos, Trident Layers and breaking coverage of who has the best – and worst – beach bodies this season.

How good am I at these brain teasers?  Let’s just put it this way: I don’t do these babies in pencil.  I do them in pen.

And not all the clues are easy: oh sure, there’s 21. Down, “Organ of Smell” – four letters, and 9. Across “____ Vegas,” three letters, but there’s also 24. Across, “Cafeteria Carryalls,” 5 letters, and 49. Down, “exclamation of contempt,” three letters (could be yuk, ugh, or oof, if you ask me).

Sometimes I time myself.  6 minutes and 14 seconds is my personal best.  Now how to work that into a conversation or T-shirt without being a three letters, first letter’s an A, last letter is an S, about it…

One Bad Thing

The New York Times Crossword Puzzle

I’m lucky if I can figure out one word of this puzzle in 6 minutes and 14 seconds.  It takes me at least an hour just to get through all the “across” clues.  Really.  It’s a struggle.  Sometimes I break down and use my on-line thesaurus.

Actually I don’t.  Not because I have any qualms about cheating, it’s just that I’m lying.  I don’t even bother to attempt the NY Times’ puzzle.  My fragile ego can’t take it.  It really can’t. If the NY Times crossword puzzle is so much as in the same room with me, I have to spend the rest of the day reading transcripts of The Jersey Shore and the Collected Witticisms of Sarah Palin just to be able to look myself in the mirror.

Since I’m coming clean, I might as well admit I don’t even attempt the San Francisco’s Chronicle’s Daily Commuter puzzle.  After making sure that yes, the Wizard of Id is somehow still being published, I look over Hocus-Focus –

– and call it a morning.

Now – back to Dell’s Fast n Fun crosswords.  Let’s see….1. Down, “Sad Ego Boost,” four letters, first letter is D, last letter is an L….wait, wait…don’t tell me…it’s coming to me!!….tip of my tongue….