I’m not a big Trekkie person or whatever you call them, but I grew up watching reruns of the original Star Trek TV series and Star Trek: The Next Generation and it was there that one of my most enduring sexual fantasies was formed: to have sex with a Vulcan. And not just regular sex, but full-on nasty, violent pon farr sex that requires hospitalization and years of therapy to completely recover. All this because of this one particular female Vulcan:
I know there had been female Vulcans on Star Trek before and, frankly, I think the aforementioned female Vulcan probably only appeared in maybe one episode of Next Generation, but that was enough. There was something about her Vulcan-ness that made her especially hot—she had that external stoicism and that lack of emotion, but you knew there was a burning, passionate fire inside just waiting to burst out. She was like a volcano (or a Vulcano—get it? Hello?) that could explode at anytime and when she did, there was nothing more I wanted than to be engulfed in her molten-y hotness. Wow…that was probably like the worst metaphor ever, but you get the point.
Now, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that my Vulcan fantasies coincided with my newfound appreciation of the hotness of Asian women. I grew up mostly around suburban white people so most of the chicks I was attracted to and dated in my youth were white. I don’t think I “discovered” Asian women until college, which is about the time my Vulcan fantasies took form (my roommates and I spent a lot of time smoking pot and watching Next Generation reruns during this period) and I haven’t looked back since.
But what does my sudden realization that Asian chicks are smokin’ hot have to do with my sudden realization that Vulcan chicks are smokin’ hot? Well, everything…
As I’ve blogged before, as a child, I thought Mr. Spock was actually Asian. There were so few Asian faces at all on TV at the time that he seemed to fit the bill—he looked vaguely Asian with the black hair and the slightly slanted-looking eyes plus he was always logical and didn’t express emotions—come on, he had to be one of us, right? From that moment on, I’ve always associated Vulcans with Asians. So I don’t think it’s a coincidence that my Vulcan fantasies and interest in Asian women occurred almost simultaneously. So…well…uh…
Oh, fuck it! Vulcan women are just hot, I don’t need to explain myself further to any of you:
Knowing about my fetish, a friend gifted me with a pair of Vulcan ears a few years ago. The plan is that I’d find a nice girl who’d be open to wearing those ears and do the whole Vulcan role-playing thing, which would mainly consist of her repeating the phrase “This is highly illogical” during sex.
I’m not sure why I haven’t engaged in this role-playing fantasy yet. I mean I’ve done the naughty schoolgirl fantasy, the naughty nun, the naughty nurse, the Asian foreign exchange student who is forced to go door to door to beg for money to stay in this country, Velma from Scooby Doo (don’t ask), but have yet to tackle the Vulcan, so to speak.
I think it’s probably because this particular fantasy is so special that I need to find the perfect woman to bring it to life. And until that day comes, those pointy ears will remain on my nightstand, waiting for the moment when I will call them into service to boldly go where no man has gone before…Or probably at least a few men have gone before ‘cause let’s be realistic that’ll most likely be the case.
Live long and prosper!