Ever have that question in your head? ”What’s my contribution to this world?” Been thinking about it a lot this year. Feel like I’m running in circles sometimes. Feel like I should be doing more to make the world a better place. Feel like everything is about poor old me…I know I can do something to make a difference!..I want to make a difference! But what is that? And how do I do that? Times like these I feel like I should of studied to be a doctor. At least that skill can help someone. Anywhere. Maybe all the Asian parents are right encouraging their kids to be doctors. Maybe, maybe not.
Maybe it’s time to have children. A friend once told me I shouldn’t have kids until I’m to make the world better place. I think I know what she means now. You can change the world by what you teach a child. bla bla bla
7:30 am;
Chasing my friend up a 4 mile hill this morning got me to thinking. Running up a hill like that makes no sense …What’s the point of this insanity? All kind of Debbie Downer thoughts rush through your head when you have to gasp for air. ”No matter how much I try I won’t be able to catch the guy”…”No matter how hard I try he’s just a faster guy”, ”No matter how hard I try I’m never going to be a natural runner like him.” ”So what’s the point?”
About 1000 meters to the top my buddy yelled down “wanna walk it?’ NO KEEP GOING! I yelled, gasping for that dear O2. I finally made it up to top, after a few minutes of huffing and puffing the endorphin rush and the beautiful view made the pain seem worth while. Then I remembered, 5 miles back to the car. Ugh. Took a deep breath and put one foot in front of the other. My friend was ahead of me, I caught up to him and we synced into a steady 7 minute pace. Together, one foot in front of the other. He turned to me and mumbled…”I got no energy today”…he was doing better then me, I thought. Frankly, I wanted to stop and call my mom to pick me up, plus Mr. Morning Diarrhea was rearing his ugly head. I mumbled back, ‘it’ll make us stronger’…I felt like I should have said more, but had no energy to talk. We went on, one foot in front of the other.
Decided to have breakfast together. I didn’t say much, he didn’t say much. He gobbled his eggs and asked if everything was cool with me. ”yeah”, I replied. A lot to say, but not in the mood to hear myself talk. Wanted to go home, things to think about, rather do it alone. As we were settling the bill, he says. ”My business is in a hard place these days, worst ever actually. But I think I found the answer, thanks bro.”… (Thanks? What did I do? I said 7 words to him all morning)…”You know when I yelled “wanna walk?…got me to thinking about my business, I’ve known things were getting bad, but I stop myself from doing anything about because it’s so hard, I just don’t want to face how bad it is. But it’s like that hill, I realized wasn’t the only one going through the pain. I knew you weren’t going to stop. I need to tackle my business and my life like that hill, if I just keep going it’ll make me stronger. (Uh…cool, I replied.)
So maybe this is the lesson. Maybe it’s not about me. Maybe merely running behind, huffing and puffing can inspire a friend. Those behind you can inspire as those already at the top of the hill. Maybe contribution comes one step at a time…one foot in front of the other. Maybe, or maybe I was just high from the endorphins.
thanks for reading good people. Adios.
p.s
A shout out to my fellow offender Phil. Thanks for making the pointless have a point in our lives.
Damn, you asians ARE wise!
my therapist says I have to break this habit I have of thinking badly about myself… of putting myself down everytime I think things to myself. no more “yeah, you can’t do this” or “why do I think I could ever do that when I can’t do this or that other”. sounds like sound advice for you too, s-b. She’s right, you know… my therapist.
Think anything else… “just keep laying down that right foot”… or “a little farther… a little more… piece of cake”… or just “one, two… one, two”… you know those drills already I’m sure.
The harder thing is to get into the habit of being kinder to ourselves… and I think that’s really important to do at some point. You aren’t a bad guy… even though you haven’t asked me about my ankle… you j-a.
What’s really important in life? Giving of yourself… being a friend to those who have been good to you. Only in being a friend can you have a friend… of course that doesn’t always work either.
you “always” make me happy
Hugs of Brazil
Keep running up them hills, my friend.
Maybe are you right about the children? they give our lives a new sense.
This was one of my fav scenes growing up. I did this scene for a variety show in 5th grade but couldn’t quite make the broom float in mid air very well.
I have to say “I enjoyed reading this blog.” I was laughing the hole time I was reading it.
I say things in my head every day when people say things like “It looks like it is going to rain and it is already raining” or “When a person walks into a store through the door and say “Are you open.” I smile and say “Yes” but, deep inside of me, I wanted to say “what do you think, when you walked inside the store standing in front of me, I mean use command sense.” If the store wasn’t open they wouldn’t made it inside the store standing in front of me. Sometimes I do say things out loud and that is when people get on my nerves.
I want children but, I work with children. The thing is, children are hard work and plus it is like having two full time jobs because, children take up a lot of a person/adult’s time and they don’t come with instructions. Children do and say what adult’s do by watching and listening; which goes into you helping your friend and you not knowing it. He was watching you and listening to you, which caused him to realize and understand his life.
Good job being a role model to a friend and thank you for being a role model to children because, you did blog weeks ago that you went to career day at a elementary school.
What you do, and have done in your life is your contribution to this world. You made a difference in your friend and the elementary children’s life; in which, they will use and apply to their life.
Good job Sung;
Tour de France (Kraftwerk)… so ahead of it’s time! Turbo was great too.
Insightful.
Thanks for sharing.
Sung, just wanted to tell you that as a single mother of 2 amazing kids, your life will change in so many ways when the time comes for you to have your own (or adopt)…well I mean when you father them as your woman pulls your hair screaming obscenities at you as she is pushing the sweet babies out.
When I first gave birth to my son, I immediately felt a love that is beyond comparison and cannot be put into words. This happened again when I gave birth to my daughter.
Parenting is a challenge that puts you in charge of shaping another human being. You get to show them the world, and enjoy as they see and learn everything for the first time. Honestly, there is nothing else like it.
I can guarantee that you will learn as much, if not more, from them than they from you.
If I get the chance, I would love to have more kids, but most guys are not looking for a single mother of 2. They want their own (guess its considered too much baggage).
So if you ever get into a relationship with a woman who already has kids, I give you props. They don’t have to be biological to change your life…
You never know when inspiration will strike. Props to you for recognizing it, and being it.
Can you come to my school and do career day?
A small favor for a fellow artist who’s also an educator?
And parenting…you know how I feel about that. You know how precious our children are to me. You do have to set that example….but it does help you grow.