To commemorate this Mother’s Day, here are my top reasons on why old-school Asian moms are so badass…
1. They are masters at dropping guilt bombs.
2. They’ve got a bottomless tool kit to cover any emergency – from stashes of cold hard cash to ear pickers to kleenex, they are ready for anything at all times.
3. Their hair is permed and shellacked like bullet-proof helmet.
4. They have psychic powers that can anticipate the first whiff of disobedience.
5. Their chopsticks are not just for eating but double as weapons to smack fingers into submission.
6. They have a stone cold stare that could send Medusa packing.
7. Though they can’t speak English, somehow everyone understands when they mean business.
8. The sound of their voice can penetrate concrete walls.
9. They complain about aches, pains, dying, being plagued by mystery illnesses and yet, somehow can summon the life force to smack you down if you dare cross them.
10. They can scan a room in less than a second and detect the pile of clothes you’ve been neglecting to launder.










My mum can be overly blunt to the point of being hurtful, but as you grow up u realize everyone else sugar coats everything.
We feel your pain Adam. Come join us at the HAAM (hard ass Asian mom) support group.
@Adam: Isn’t that the truth (as well as the complete opposite of white moms)!
the woman in KungFu Hustle looks like “darnit! i will kill you”
[...] DOUBLE HAPPINESS: DON’T MESS WITH MOM [...]
This is pretty funny and deadly accurate.
I’m in total agreement with this spot-on article!
Anyone see the movie “Mother” directed by Bong Joon Ho? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPcijFQ4PpU
Possibly one of the most hardcore moms ever?
they are close cousins to the ninja…
[...] Why say “I love you” when you can just as easily say, “You look really fat, did you gain weight?” or “A- on your report card? You too stupid to get an A+?!” If you grew up in a traditional (non-Filipino) Asian household, the white families you saw in TV shows like Growing Pains or Family Ties–where any problem could be resolved with a hug—was probably about as foreign to you as aliens from another planet. But who needs hugs and positive reinforcement anyway? All it does is make you soft and weak which is why America is going down the drain. Nope, there’s nothing to toughen you up like a whack on the side of your leg with a bamboo stalk followed by a “your cousin Jin Yoo is so smart and pretty, why can’t you be more like her?!” (For other examples of the Asian-style of parenting, check out recent posts by my fellow Offenders here and here) [...]