Have you ever been in a public place and let one loose? How about laughing too hard and one slips out? Or my favorite, think its gonna be a quiet airy one and it was actually 3.0 on the Richter scale? Farting is probably one of the grossest things to do or hear (esp for girls) because its airy poo particles but it can also be one of the funniest events to witness too. Its quite natural and EVERYONE does it. We know old people seriously don’t mind farting anywhere. And most of our childhood friends haven’t changed a bit either. You can’t tell me you haven’t ripped several dozen while you’re on the plane. Has your boy/girlfriend farted in front of you yet? If so, I bet a thousand more came right after.
But is it dangerous to hold in a fart?
“There are differences in opinion on this one. Certainly, people have believed for centuries that retaining flatus is bad for the health. Emperor Claudius even passed a law legalizing farting at banquets out of concern for people’s health. There was a widespread belief that a person could be poisoned or catch a disease by retaining farts.
Doctors I have spoken to recently have told me that there is no particular harm in holding in farts. Farts will not poison you; they are a natural component of your intestinal contents. The worst thing that can happen is that you may get a stomach ache from the gas pressure. But one doctor suggested that pathological distention of the bowel could result if a person holds in farts too much. And Dr. P. said that the effort involved in retaining flatus can cause hemorrhoids.”
Did the good doctor just say hemorrhoids. Well, I’m never holding in a fart again. Screw you pasta or tuna and anything with beans or starch. I’m cutting loose even if you give me severe gas problems. Of course there are those moments you are with a new “friend” and don’t want to embarrass yourself. But mine as well test that friendship out early and see if she/he wouldn’t mind some friendly fart olympics. And if you are the type to let out those heated ones, I’d suggest Fartypants underwear. You can even switch out the filters.
Here’s a list of farts off the top of my heads that could happen to or around you.
Pull my Finger
Every other Step fart
Friction Fart that amplifies it by a 100. (wooden chair is the best)
Silent but Deadly aka SBD
One Leg Up Morning Fart
Got any more to add to the list?