Many friends and family ask me to give advice to people who are thinking about enlisting. Sometimes its too harsh to give the truth but most of the time its really easy. But my respond to this favor is usually, do you want me to talk them out of going or prepare them. They are always in shock when I say this because they never realize what kind of influence a veteran can have. Of course I don’t yell, “Don’t do it! Its a huge mistake” or “They treat you like shit! Welcome to hell.” Nor do I say, “Its like Disneyland only better” or “Think about the fun you’ll be having living with 97% men, holding a gun for the next 4+ years of your life and come back all crazy.” But if you want my advice for you or anyone you know that is thinking about joining up, here it is.

First, I ask why do you want to join? Could it be for the college fund? Or to travel abroad? Or outright to just go and kill people (legally)? For me, it was partly for the college fund and partly to find more opportunities in life than living at home couldn’t give me. A lot of people are usually running from something when they decide to enlist. Don’t join because UC Berkeley rejected you or your school crush just trombone some loser. The average age in the military is 22 years old. I enlisted when I was 17. So try to have a strong definite reason why you want to join because when you sign the dotted line and take the oath, the government OWNS you for good.

Then I ask, what do you know about our current situations with other countries? Obviously there is a war on terror going on and since 9/11, we captured Saddam, set up a new government in Iraq and supposedly have left Iraq. But what else? Today’s fight is completely different than past wars. I tell them if they knew of the friendly fire statistics. *World War II – 21%. Vietnam War about 39%. Gulf War to today is about 52%. Friendly fire! The turn around on training is faster, the soldiers are younger, and the officers are less experienced. By no means am I trying to make them shit in their pants but they should know what they are really getting into. And the truth is, the government just wants numbers. The more soldiers we have out there, the more powerful we look. And not to talk shit about our reservist but they got the worst end of it. People who sign up to be in the Reserves thinking they only have to paint a house one weekend a month to get free money from the government are now ALL being shipped to BFE  to stand a post with a gun and helmet to present to the enemy that we outnumber them. Them who? Do we train the reservist as much as we train the enlisted? Probably not. But do they get the short end of the stick and still have to stand in the front lines. Fuck ya. Like I said, the government OWNS you, even the reservist.

If you are still positive about enlisting, then you should decide on an occupation. Like college, you basically chose a major based on a test called the ASVAB. Its a vocational aptitude test to see what skills you have, whether its in mechanics, electronics, or just holding a gun and shooting it. A recruiters job is to fill their quota for needed jobs for that month. So if you want to be a medic in the Army but this month that job is over the quota but infantry is in high demand, most likely you’ll either become infantry with a $5-10K bonus (hopefully you’ll be alive to spend it) or you SHOULD DO is come back next month to see if medics have open up. Timing and your ASVAB score is everything. And whatever job you go into will be the next 4+ years of your life. Obviously, infantry won’t be the only choice but that is how they do it. And if you are a recruiter reading this, hate all you want but don’t try and trick any of my friends, fuckers. But also know if you decide on a very technical job like electronics, then they will want you to sign up for at least 6 years because of all the schooling they will send you to. By the time I served my 6 years, it was a quarter of my life. Kinda trippy.

And lastly, set some goals. Just because you are in the military doesn’t mean you can’t do things in the outside world. Most importantly, you have to think about yourself. When and if you get out, you have to prepare yourself for the civilian world. How much money do you want to save up? Becoming an officer gets paid WAY more but requires a BA. Do you want to start taking online classes while you are in? What kind of job do you want to be doing in the real world? Is your goal to travel and see the world? Ironically, you do have a little control of what you do while in the military. One friend joined to become a dentist for the Army and they paid off all his school loans. Another friend logged all his hours as a electronics technician and got his apprenticeship license and now does fiber optics and gets paid six figures. You may not know what you exactly want but should have an idea of what you don’t want. And thats starting from scratch when you get out and asking yourself why I joined in the first place. The military is definitely not for everyone. But depending on your attitude, you can benefit from it. After all, you get your own holiday…but that still doesn’t mean you get the day off. Just kidding BOSS!

*Data from The Tillman Story documentary