Guten tag from Berlin! I’m currently wrapping up my annual jaunt at the Berlinale (Berlin Film Festival). Watched a lot of films and warming up my lower extremities because of one of the coldest winters in Berlin in a decade. For such a well run, beautiful place with rich history, their city services in salting sidewalks and streets is left to be desired. The sidewalks are ice rinks and many people have slipped and fell around the festival. A poor Indian film buyer actually broke his leg on his first day at the fest and had to travel back to India the next day because he was immobile.

The Fest has always had a strong Asian presence, especially this year, which opened with Wang Quanan’s APART TOGETHER and will close this weekend with Yoji Yamada’s ABOUT HER BROTHER.

I wanted to devote this dispatch to wacky Jackie Chan. He was in town to promote his new mainland Chinese production, LITTLE BIG SOLDIER, an  adventure film set during pre-Imperial times in China. It was fun and cool to see Jackie in a costume drama.

During the press conference, what transpired was pretty funny. Jackie had an exchange in Mandarin to a Chinese reporter, which was not translated to non-Chinese reporters, on why his next Hollywood film is called THE KARATE KID, when it is plainly obvious he is teaching wushu. I don’t understand Chinese, but Jackie just brushed it off and said “Hollywood, Hollywood.” Then he talked about his upcoming opus, a stage musical on his life. Yep, Jackie Chan: The Musical.

Later that night at the Taiwan Film Night Party (held at the Ritz Carlton), it got even weirder. In an attempt quell the failure of getting people on the makeshift dancefloor to lame music like Ke$ha, one of the Taiwanese contingent yelled in a microphone something like this: “Ladies and Gentlemen! Jackie Chan, the Chinese superstar, is at our party! I repeat, Jackie Chan, the king of Chinese movies, is here at the party to grace us with his presence!”

He was then ushered to the stage and flanked with random Taiwanese pop idols, dignitaries and cultural attaches. I think even Jackie thought that announcer guy was laying it on too thick. Jackie then said some niceties in Chinese and thanked the Taiwanese and then he was off on his merry way.

And that’s when the DJ started the song Kung Fu Fighting. Yes, that song. As Jackie Chan’s exit song. I rolled my eyes. Then, mid-way, just because the DJ couldn’t contain himself, he played an ABBA parody of TAKE A CHANCE ON ME, which I’ve never heard, but man, was it groan-worthy: Apparently, “Take A Chance on Me” has one of the most misheard lyrics in music history, with folks mistaking this line as “Jackie Chan’s On Me”, hence this parody song above.

I shrugged and went for some late night currywurst before heading out to the most awesome karaoke party ever. More on that later…