Sometimes I feel totally numb and exhausted after an audition. It’s like running a hundred yard dash with all you got and then it’s over. Just like that. No one to cheer for you or give you hugs. I sometimes have to drive around for an hour to feel normal again. A million thoughts race through my mind. Did I do a good job? Do I even know what a good job is? What am I doing? Damn, I should’ve done it this way..no that way. I hope I don’t let the people that believe in me down. Maybe I’m too ugly,maybe I have no talent. I let the negative thoughts filter out and then go for a run. After an hour or two of running most of the stuff goes away and seems a bit neurotic. I have to say this is my least favorite part of being an actor. Makes you think if it’s worth it.
I tried shaking residual negatives by running this morning. Four of use went for an easy 6. But nothing about it was easy. Getting there took over an hour. The freeway was jammed. By the time we started I had a million thoughts racing through my head. The most constant being “is this worth it?” Mile 1. sucked…my feet were killing me and it was cold. Mile 2. Got stomach cramps and felt like I might poop my shorts. Mile 3. Salt sticking to my lips…I just want to walk. Mile 4. My feet are flying…feeling good. D’s gonna catch me on this hill. Mile 5. Wow, look at the trees, I feel great, the air is so clean. Mile 6. I look over to Bob as we pass a fallen tree. ” you know I’m glad I made it out, this is all worth it.”….BOB “Me too.” So maybe life and career works the same way. Take it day by day. Maybe by the 6 day it won’t be so bad.
Be happy all. ADIOS
God I love you Sung. My knee’s been acting up so I haven’t been able to run for 2 months. Please when you run, thank your body that you can do that. Every time. I used to beat myself up for being slow, but what I wouldn’t do now just to run! Seriously. Give thanks every time. Your body is amazing and does such amazing things… every step is a blessing. Love love and miss you Sung!
the fact you went of 6 in the rain makes you bad ass
i walked to my car today. total calories burned – 1.3
you’re amazing
take care
kiss of Amazônia
If you like, I can wait in the car for you to come out of you audition and cheer. I do look pretty good in a short skirt. But I’m a guy.
I can’t jump up and down to cheer because I might break my other ankle… but I can wave one of my crutches madly for you. =)
Wish me luck and pray a few times for me? The surgery to put it back together is tomorrow. eesh.
you are a great actor and talented sung! I will always cheer for you, Take care ^_____^
It’s all worth it in the long — pun only partially intended — run. Somewhere, somehow in the blogosphere, the folks casting the modern remake of CHARIOTS OF FIRE will read this and, picture vividly painted in their minds’ eye, will call your peeps for a meeting.
hard work always pays off in the end
YOU ARE WAY TO HARD ON YOURSELF… as a fan and a female, you are extremely good looking (sexy wink wink) and a very talented actor. You deserve to have bigger roles because you are a great actor. You have the determination (from what i can see) to accomplish all your goals even if its as small as finishing 6 miles or getting a role… dont be so hard on yourself. You are only causing yourself to stress more…
The stress response you have after an audition is only natural…I deal with the same head games. Your audition is worthy because you have something to say. We are all rooting for you–not just because of your looks and talent, but because of the heart that fuels all that six miles and audition masterfulness. Love and hugs! Happy Valentine’s Day my dear friend!!!!
Hey Sung,
I worked on West 32nd with John and Jun. Sometimes we forget that we must become a beacon to light for others. To pursue something in order to provide for others.
I’m trying to make it into acting as well. I’m Korean myself and growing up never had anyone to look up to with shows such as “Saved by the Bell,” etc. I want to represent possibilities. Possibilities that an Asian man can play an attractive role just as a caucasian would. Maybe it’s wishful thinking.
I went through a bout of depression and it’s taking me 6 years to graduate at Hofstra University because my father wanted me to get my business degree. What keeps me going is guys like you and John actually making a name for yourselves. I used to watch your one clip on tokyo drift… and can recite it… in fact, my best friend says two movie quotes to me to get me motivated and through my times of self pity that is the scene in “Good Will Hunting” when Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are talking outside and your scene looking down at Tokyo… “Look at those people down there…”
Don’t forget that it is not just about self glory… it’s about becoming an inspiration and giving to the world.