Damn, why did she have to go and say that?
In a recent New York Times Magazine profile, actress Cynthia Nixon, best known for playing Miranda on “Sex and the City,” said that being gay was a conscious choice for her.
“I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me. A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because if it’s a choice, then we could opt out.”
I cringe. I cringe because if it’s seen as a choice, there are plenty of people out there who will tell you it’s a bad choice, and will write nasty little laws to let you know just how they feel.
Nixon is engaged to a woman with whom she has been in a relationship for eight years, and, before that, she spent 15 years with a man and has two children by him.
I support gay marriage – everyone should have the same right to be as happy and miserable as us straights – but when it comes to defending my position, I always fall back on the “gay gene” argument.
Every gay person I’ve known – all five or six of them, and they are all men – have said the exact same thing:
“I’ve liked guys since as long as I can remember.”
And in the last ten years there have been a spate of studies demonstrating homosexual behavior in animals: the whiptail lizard, the Layson albatross, male dung flies, and, most famously, those two Canadian penguins.
To me it all suggests that homosexuality is, as the lawyers put it, an “immutable trait,” inborn, and therefore not subject to any kind of legal judgment or sanction. To discriminate against homosexuality would be no different than holding someone’s ethnicity or skin color against them. This isn’t a lifestyle choice, it’s biological destiny.
Or is it?
“I say it doesn’t matter if we flew here or swam here,” continued Nixon, “it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay and who is not.”
Cue knee jerk liberal flop sweat here.
Of course she’s right. Her sexuality – innate or chosen – is her business, but statements like hers are like giving anti-gay-marriage activists winning lottery tickets. They can now hide behind the words of a known gay celebrity to promote their message.
I’m not saying that I think homosexuality is an immoral choice that will lead to eternal damnation and the disintegration of civilization – that nice lesbian lady from the TV – she said it.
And people who feel this way don’t need any more help: 42 states already ban gay marriage. Only six have legalized it. Not a good time to pour gasoline on the DOMA bonfire.
For me, whether it’s genetics or choice, I could care less if gay folk get hitched. But taking away the immutability argument kicks out a leg from an already wobbly three legged stool.
Oh Cynthia, couldn’t you have lied, just a little? Couldn’t you have just said you had been living a 15 year lie and finally found the confidence to openly be who you always were?
And if you’re not so keen on all the lying, any thoughts on getting the rest of the 300 million people between the coasts to shrug and mind their own business?
I believe our sexuality is on a spectrum – there are gays and straights at the two end points, and more flexible places in between. Of course Cynthia Nixon is right – for her it is a choice. The problem with that is our society is so uncomfortable with this issue, most folks can’t handle homosexuality, much less the fluidity of bisexuality. I get what you’re saying, though. Comments like hers are OK for us that ‘get it,’ but not so good to be publicized by the right to justify their ridiculous positions.
I think it’s awesome that she admits it was a choice. Not every gay person was “born gay,” if you can be “born gay” at all. She wanted to express how it is for her and there is nothing wrong with that. Maybe others feel the same. And if her telling the TRUTH kicks out the leg of an already wobbly stool, I’d say folks might want to re-examine the structure of the stool.
I think it’s more compelling to argue that sexuality is like religion. That’s a choice too, right? But nobody would ever presume to make laws prohibiting your practice of it.
I think some people are predisposed from birth to be more or less religious, just as some people are predisposed from birth to live somewhere along a sexual continuum. There’s as much nurture as nature in how we mature.
And I say this as a happily Christian homo.
the fight should be for equality in terms of whoever people want to shack up with, not on pseudo-science justification.
if you really think about, if it’s only genetic then it makes no sense since homosexual animals won’t procreate. it’s probably some sort of hormone and environmental effects on embryo development.
also for gay penguins, this is the coolest story ever:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/06/gay-penguins-china-chick-_n_1131865.html
If you’re bisexual, being in a “gay” or “straight” relationship is a choice – and one that has very little to do with who you’re attracted to outside of that one person. Interracial relationships are based on choice too (and back in the day, there were people saying it was immoral), but that doesn’t mean they should be illegal.
Just because you’te a celebrity, doesn’t mean you are obligated to make political statements on everything. Anyone else CONSTANTLY being turned off by such? Cynthia represents a very very small minority of gay people & she should have said nothing at all.