As I mentioned before, waiting in line, while often excruciating, can occasionally provide surprise moments of happiness.
Well this week, I’m here to remind you of the misery life doles out the majority of the time.
Lines, I think, are simple. Whether it’s at the doctor’s or the supermarket, you find the end of the line and that’s where you begin your wait, the long (or short) trek to your goal. Sometimes, this can be confusing.
No, I’m not being sarcastic. I’m trying my best to see this from all perspectives:
Sometimes, lines snake all around, all over the place, and it is hard to discern where they actually end. On occasion, a line that starts off as a single one might fork suddenly at the end, seemingly or in actuality.
Yet even then, all it takes is a quick question, a quick moment, with the presumed end of the line to discover if that person is indeed who you take them to be.
Then you can take your appropriate place in the line and wait it out like all the other people.
And if all this isn’t enough, there will usually be a sign that says something to the effect of “Line Starts Here.”
You know – just in case.
But sometimes, well – some people can’t read, I guess.
The first of two occasion I’ll relate is, perhaps, easier to forgive as the person in question was an elderly woman. I was at a Barnes and Noble, making my way to the registers to purchase a book about Audrey Hepburn.
This store, like many of their others, had cordoned off an area to wait in and make your way through before getting to the actual registers.
Out of politeness and the belief of squeezing as much physical activity out of everything, I always go through this path to avoid cutting someone. Well, this time, some little old woman didn’t share that sentiment.
As I made my way to the area first, she cut straight through to the registers to the lone cashier that was there, beating me. Not only that, she was also one of those people who forgot her money along with all her credits card and even registration.
I stood there, content with the possibility that she was going blind.
This next story however – person was most definitely not blind.
This one was at a Yoshinoya, and it was a younger guy and he didn’t have milky white eyes; a cane; or a seeing eye dog. This guy’s sight was intact, probably even better than mine.
The set-up for this was pretty much the same as the last one: I begin my wait at the end of the line; some other person goes the wrong direction, trying to cut me off.
Now while this one actually backed off and waited his turn, I could see the sour look on his face as I went ahead of him.
I almost wish he had been an anteater – that would explain why he couldn’t read.
If you’ve got a full cart and the person behind you, even if they’re not old, blind, or a cute baby white seal, has only a couple things – let ‘em get ahead of you. If not for magnanimous reasons, then for pure unalloyed selfishness: you get to feel quietly smug and good about yourself.
When I was in Guangzhou, China a few years ago, I was waiting in line at immigration to get my visa stamped and some guy was literally pressed up against my back. It was the non vehicular equivalent of tailgating as there is no line etiquette in GZ. Pretty much anywhere, you have to watch out for people seeking a foot of airspace to slip into – hence the lack of personal space in GZ. So if ever in GZ, just apply the LA traffic rules of leaving less than a body width gap between you and the other person in front or risk getting cut off.
I wonder..who else noticed that the first picture was a picture of the line to the pirates of the carribean attraction at disneyland?
“Is waiting in line complicated?” For some people it can be.
Exhibit A! Self-checkout lanes at my local grocery store. To me, two lanes = two lines but some people want to line up in the middle. Before you know it, everything has gone to heck.