So I recently stumbled onto this site where a Dr. Robert Wallace answers questions from tweens and teens and gives them advice. His latest column included this letter and response from the good doctor:
DR. WALLACE: Why are Asian students more intelligent than the rest of us? At our high school, about 5 percent of the student body is Asian, but almost all of them are on the honor roll, and this year’s valedictorian and salutatorian are Asian. My dad thinks their intelligence is tied to their diets. — Lindsay, Newport Beach, Calif.
LINDSAY: Asian students are not more intelligent than other students, nor are their high grades the result of what they eat. It’s simply that many Asian-American parents place a heavy emphasis on education. Schoolwork in some Asian-American families is so important that children never have part-time jobs or even household chores to do, because this could interfere with study time.
In some families, teens are not permitted to date or, in extreme cases, talk on the telephone.
Educational success brings honor and respect to families in Asian societies. This cultural attitude is the prime reason that Asian-American students get good grades. The upside of all of this is that, as a group, Asian-American students are very high achievers.
The downside is that guilt can result when students fall short of their parents’ expectations. Asian-American students who do not excel academically may feel like failures when, in reality, they are normal teens.
Well, goddamn, now I understand why I turned out the way I did! It’s all my immigrant Korean parents’ fault. Damn them for making me get part-time jobs and pay for my own “luxuries” (including my piece of shit VW with the steering wheel that would sometimes come off when I made a sharp left turn) and making me mow the lawn and do other chores so I could learn the value of hard work! Damn them for letting me date whoever I wanted and even encouraging me to have a social life and to bring my girlfriends around the house to hang out; especially for meals so they would be well fed! Damn them for supporting my interest in the arts and pushing me to pursue writing if that’s what I was interested in over med or law school!
Thank you, Dr. Wallace, for opening my eyes and making me see that I was robbed of my childhood. Oh, if I could only go back in time with assurances that my parents would make me feel like a failure instead of telling me I should pursue what I love and be happy, think of how differently my life would have been. Goddamn!
Dr Wallace: Whenever I have problems in my life, I don’t do the rational thing and consult my peers or even my parents. I ask my grandpa because being 89 years old, he is clearly the one most able to relate to my complex tween issues. Do you see anything wrong with this picture?
lol @ at your steering wheel troubles, Philip.
No, Asian students do have part-time jobs and do household chores. They are permitted to date and talk on the telephone. But Dr. Wallace is on the right track. It’s the hardass Asian parents controlling our childhoods and instilling a fear of a beatdown over bad grades.
That and academic achievement is an addiction when you’ve tasted failure. That got me through most of my compulsory education.
We may not be smarter, but there’s probably some kind of self-selection going on with people who dared to venture across the world to a place where they didn’t know the culture or language. Don’t worry, in three or four generations we’ll be as dumb as everyone else.
Stop. Internet postings are forever. We are smarter, we’re hard-wired smarties.
When proto man walked out of Africa the smartest ones went eastwards. They also were the least hairy. It’s twuuue.
i wonder what Dr. Wallace’s diagnosis would be for African Americans, Jewish folks, and Hispanics.
I shudder to think what he/she would come up with…
To be honest, I don’t see anything particularly wrong with what he’s saying. I’ve known a ton of families who are the way he’s described, and mine used to be a bit more like that (my folks have since become pretty relaxed). I don’t think the experiences of the creators and readers on this site (being more artistically-minded and having probably more non-traditional upbringings) can be used to justify putting this guy down.
Philip, it sounds like we had similar childhoods. Sob, the pain. Mama, Baba, WHY??? Why did you let me march to the beat of my own drummer when all I ever wanted was to march to the beat of your gong?
To be fair, though, I have to agree with the Stealth MC that Dr. Wallace’s answer makes at least a modicum of sense, especially when compared to the sheer idiocy of the question he was faced with. TIED TO THEIR DIETS???!!!??? Wha….???
As an interesting anecdote, I knew a guy who’s family was Wallace’s “extreme case” personified. His parents were so worried about his education and marks that they forebade him to do any extra-curriculars and closely monitored his socializing. They dressed him up in dress pants and dress shirts in primary school and he wore that stuff all through highschool.
They were so bad that when he became Editor-in-Chief of the student newspaper, and his name was on the school activity summary sheets that came out with our report cards, that he would take the sheet, detach it from the report card, white out his name, and re-attach a photocopy without his name on it.
He suspected that his mom listened into his telephone conversations, and the parents forebade anyone from going over to his place to hang out. When me and a buddy dropped by once to pick something up, he made us stay outside and was paranoid that his folks had neighbors watching.
Worst part was he was a mediocre student (which is probably unsurprising, given how messed up he was in overall development).
This is of course a very extreme example, but it’s interesting how it’s not as rare as I perhaps thought, given that Wallace has encountered similar stories.
I don’t see the problem with Dr. Wallace’s reply. He did say “many Asian American families,” not all. We all know stereotypes exist for a reason and the cultural explanation for this one is spot on. Not everyone’s experience is going to fit into the stereotype. I think Wallace knew that when he wrote his reply. It’s certainly the girl’s comments that grate the worst. I live in Taiwan where 95 is not an acceptable test score to many parents. The value and importance placed on education here is a curse that children live through all year from 6am to 9pm or later.