Yesterday, I blogged about how Koreans are the Irish of the Orient. So as today is St. Patrick’s Day, I wanted to further show my solidarity with my Irish brothers and sisters. And what better way to do that than to profile a prominent Irish American to educate our readers. Not an Irish figure like author James Joyce or U2 front man Bono, but a genuine Irish American. But unfortunately I couldn’t think of any prominent Irish Americans except one: Lucky the Leprechaun a.k.a. the mascot of Lucky Charms cereal (sue me, I’m a product of the American public school system).

FYI, I’m counting Lucky as an Irish American because Lucky Charms is an American cereal and, therefore, he is an American creation.

Now, I know there are Irish Americans who feel that Lucky is a stereotype and I get their point. But growing up, I thought he was awesome. Not only because he always had yummy Lucky Charms on him, but because he had these cool powers that he used to escape from the kids who were always trying to steal his cereal. Like in this commercial where he creates a rainbow wormhole to travel back in time:

And what are the Lucky Charms ads if not a metaphor for not only the Irish American experience, but that of all immigrants? Think about it…Lucky (whose outfit and accent immediately peg him as the “other” immigrant) just wants to enjoy his Lucky Charms in peace. But nope, those mofo assimilated WASP kids (and even when they’re multicultural, they still walk and talk like assimilated WASPS) won’t leave him be. Those goddamn kids could easily go down to the local Ralphs and buy their own Lucky Charms, but do they? Noooooooooooo…they viciously steal the cereal from the foreigner; often humiliating Lucky in the process. The template was already set in the very first Lucky Charms commercial:

Did you see how those motherfucking assimilated WASP kids fucking not only stole Lucky’s cereal, but made him look like a fucking idiot in the process?!! Shamrocks…seriously?! You think it’s funny to steal from the foreigner?! You know what’s also funny? Me smashing your goddamn heads in with a baseball bat! That’ll be fucking hilarious believe you me. Where’s my baseball bat? You’ll be praying you had the luck of the Irish after I’m done with…I said where’s my motherfucking baseball bat?!! I’m gonna bust a cap in—

A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE YOMYOMF MODERATOR:
As you can see Philip has already starting celebrating the holiday with a few drinks. He is resting now. Thank you for your understanding and have a safe and happy St. Patrick’s Day!