Photographic Proof that Thais are the Nicest People on the Planet

If you’ve been to Thailand, you know that the Thai people are arguably the nicest, friendliest folks you’re bound to meet anywhere on the planet. And these images from Thailand’s Khao Yai National Park (which have gone viral) offer further proof of this:

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Apparently, this motorcyclist got in the way of an angry herd of elephants. But instead of running away and/or cursing loudly while flapping his arms like pretty much anyone else would do, he apologized. To the angry elephants.

The $5 Million Dollar Billy The Kid Picture: The Real Story

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Much has been made recently over the find of a tintype photograph of notorious outlaw/hero Billy The Kid and his gang, The Regulators, found for $2 at a Fresno, California, junk shop, and currently valued at $5 million dollars. Five years ago Randy Guijarro found the tintype mixed in with other photographs inside a box at the shop.

Initially he had misgivings: “I liked it because it was old-looking, but it was more beat up than I Iike,” Guijarro told the L.A. Times. “I hesitated.”

But – what the hell – in the end, Guijarro decided to shell out the two bucks.

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When he got home and peered at the image through a magnifying glass, he thought he recognized a familiar face: Henry McCarty aka Billy The Kid.

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On his Wikipedia page, Billy’s “occupation” is listed as “horse rustler, cowboy, gambler, outlaw.”

Emilia Clarke Is The Sexiest AND Nerdiest Woman Alive?

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Emilia Clarke, sans dragon.

Esquire magazine announced today that Emilia Clarke is the Sexiest Woman Alive for 2015. I haven’t read the article, because I’ve read a few in the past, and it’s always a little nauseating the extent to which the writer has to prove that they’re NOT writing just about a sexy woman (by paying perfunctory verbiage to actual things like her accomplishments, personality, pets, etc.) while ALSO finding new ways to gush about her legs/hair/eyes/muscle tone/complexion and all the other indicators of hottie-ness. In fact, I don’t really need to go into why the concept of an S.W.A. is fundamentally silly. (Except to note that I always look at the cover and think with distress, “Oh no, what happened to the Sexiest Women Alive from the LAST five years? Are they still alive? Did they become egregiously non-sexy? How is it that Sexiest Woman Alive is a condition that always only lasts 1 year before a new queen is crowned?”)

BUT, I will say this: Emilia Clarke is the first of Esquire’s Sexiest Women Alive who is also the Nerdiest Woman alive.

Around The Horn: Trump – Balloon Or Bomb?

I admit it: The Donald captivates me.

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I sat glued to the TV during the first and second Republican debates, waiting to see what the man would say next – about drug dealing Mexicans; about homely candidates; about China kicking our ass; about the effect of menstruation on debate moderators.

And he never fails to disappoint: he’s stuck his foot so far deep down his throat I can’t believe he’s not shitting shoelaces.

And yet he keeps climbing in the polls.

But that’s okay. To me it’s all just a fun sideshow. I can laugh it off because I don’t believe there is any way in hell this guy will win the Republican nomination. He’s unelectable in the general. The party bosses, Illuminati, Koch brothers and Rotarians, et al will conspire behind the scenes to bring him down and put up a genuine threat like Rubio or Bush in the end.

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But am I wrong?

Prison: Rehabilitation Or Retribution?

Locals call them “angels in orange.” Others might find the name “devils in jumpsuits” more apt.

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That California has been devastated by a recent series of wildfires which have claimed both lives and property – the Valley Fire has claimed four lives and over 1200 homes – is no secret. That part of the fire crews battling the blazes is made up of felons might not be so well known.

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The state’s inmate firefighter program begs a fundamental question about the role of incarceration: should prisons be the tool by which society punishes people for breaking the law, or should it be the tool by which they are given a chance to better themselves, or – and shades of gray can be very unsatisfying – both?

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The Trombonist

He wore his hair cropped short and slicked back. His face was heavily pock marked, his shoulders rounded and thick. His name was John Kim, but I wouldn’t know that until the end of our conversation.

(not him, but…)

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“It’s a long story,” he said to me, slightly exasperated.

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Those were the first words out of his mouth, as if we had already been talking, as if I had just asked him to expand on the answer to a question I hadn’t yet posed. I was sitting at the bar during a fundraiser we were hosting, waiting to catch the bartender’s attention, when the man with pockmarked skin and a tight, thin smile turned to me.

Passive-Aggressive Awesomeness, Presidential Style

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Do you ask other people if they’re hungry when you’re hungry? When you want to criticize someone, do you claim merely to be passing on criticism you overheard from someone else? “Look, I think you’re restocking the office supplies just fine, but Doris in accounting said something to me the other day about us running out of staples.”

Do you allow the U.N. to scold you on your antiquated, pointless Cuba embargo, just to piss off the Republican opposition?

Well, that’s just what the Obama administration might be doing….and I love it!

The “Be Nice” Speech

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Recently it was announced that UFC fighter Ronda Rousey is slated to reprise Patrick Swayze’s bouncer role in the 80′s cult classic, “Road House.”

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(for the record, as a bar owner, I’ve always been intrigued by the idea of hiring a “doorwoman” – I mean, seriously, how much of a douche do you have to be to swing on a woman?) Gotta talk to my business partner Mikey about it.

I never saw the original film. Well, to clarify, I’ve only seen one clip from it:

The “Be Nice” speech.

Mikey, himself a former bouncer, showed it to me after we spent half an hour trying to figure out how best to teach new bouncers – we actually call them “hosts,” (not euphemistically, either) – to do their jobs.

DOMINUS vs. MEGATRON: If Asian-Americans Could Smash, or How To Talk To Asian Hulk In A Bar

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DOMINUS PRIME: Megatron did you hear that the Hulk is an Asian-American guy now?

MEGATRON: He is? How did that happen?

D: Korean-American writer/filmmaker Greg Pak somehow gives Bruce Banner’s power to his friend/sidekick Amadeus Cho, no one knows how it happens, the issue hasn’t come out yet. EVERY PROBLEM EVER, SOLVED!

M: There is Glenn from The Walking Dead, and Asian men who know Karate. But I think what you’re referring to is that the everyAsianman can now be viewed as a potent rage machine as well.