This is as bad as it looks. I never heard this ’80s one hit blunder but they try to jam pack everything Japanesey to rap rhyme, like “I never have to fight and I’ll tell you why, no one wants to fight a samurai” or “I train in my car, I’m a ninjaa”…. Uh, that last line was kind of reaching. There’s even the Oriental riff for good measure. Either way, watch with adulterated judgement on this Superbowl Sunday. And remember… Kumite!
(Via Frederic Ambrosine)
Damn, why did she have to go and say that?
In a recent New York Times Magazine profile, actress Cynthia Nixon, best known for playing Miranda on “Sex and the City,” said that being gay was a conscious choice for her.
“I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me. A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because if it’s a choice, then we could opt out.”
I cringe. I cringe because if it’s seen as a choice, there are plenty of people out there who will tell you it’s a bad choice, and will write nasty little laws to let you know just how they feel.
Apparently, this is a big internet meme…. fan artwork of Disney hipster princesses. I can dig it. If I were to choose who’s the hottest, I would go for Hipster Snow White. Here’s another lineup with Mulan….
Is Anastacia a Disney princess? I don’t think so… Regardless, you can check out more ironic and sad Disney princesses over at Buzzfeed.
This happens at least once a week. I walk into the bar I co-own and get about 30 feet in when I hear a voice…
“Hey, Fredo!”
“Ohmigod, hey man, how are you doing?”
“Awesome. Chillin’. Haven’t been out too much, though.”
“Me neither….wow, it’s great to see you.”
“You too.”
A moment passes as we figure out what to say next and, more importantly, I desperately rack my brain for the guy’s name. He’s in that band, right, or, wait, no, maybe he’s the tattoo artist. Shit.
“So,” I ask tentatively, “you still making music?”
“Yeah, we’ve got a gig at the Uptown next Wednesday. You should come. Hoi Polloi’s playing, and they’ve got the bassist from Rocket from the Crypt.”
I want to live in a world where a Latino god from the heavens throws a pizza boomerang towards Earth as it hurtles at tremendous speeds to serve, protect, and entice us with all its pizza goodness.
That ain’t tomato sauce splattering all over that girl’s face. Oh, and that streaker who exposed himself had it coming!
Sofa Experience Communications, an outfit based in Spain, created this ingenious spot. I have no idea if Pizza Boomerang actually exists as a restaurant chain, but one can hope. In the meantime, you’ll just have to enjoy the majesty of Pizza Boomerang over at the official website.
I'm dying in here!!!!
Goodbye SF! Goodbye Mission Cliffs! Goodbye Planet Granite with your walls overlooking the bay! Goodbye Chad Herst, best mysore yoga teacher ever! Goodbye running on Bernal Hill!
Da view from the top!
Maybe “Litmus Test” is the wrong expression here, ’cause is there really a wrong answer? Maybe “What’s Your Type?” cuts more to the chase, especially for anyone who watched way too much TV growing up and who can see age 30 comfortably in their rear view mirror.
Okay, so you’re locked in a room with one of these two women, and only one of them can stay. Who makes the cut?
GINGER
OR MARYANNE?
DAPHNE
OR VELMA?
KATE
OR FARRAH?
This is Bob:
Bob is a doll. He’s about the size of a small child so he’s pretty big for a doll. Bob can usually be found propped up next to my office door, but recently it seems he’s developed a nasty habit of somehow moving to different areas of the house during the night.
But first a little background–back in 2005, my theatre company was producing a show that consisted of a series of short plays loosely adapted from Grimms’ fairy tales. One of the pieces, written by playwright Judy Soo Hoo, was based on the Juniper Tree which is one of the Grimms’ most, well, grim stories and that’s saying something.
In the tale, a young girl’s brother is murdered by her stepmother—he is beheaded and his flesh served by stepmom to the unsuspecting family in a stew. The girl, who feels guilt from falsely believing she was responsible for the boy’s death, buries her brother’s bones underneath a juniper tree and…bad shit happens.
When my older son Rafael was eight years old, he came home from school one day and announced that he would be asking for a raise in his allowance. He cited, as precedent, the circumstances of his best friend.
“Felix gets ten dollars a week.”
“Really?” I asked. Rafael was receiving eight at the time.
“I think so,” said Rafael.
I think so.
Right then I knew Rafi was either lying or uncertain or just wishing. When Felix came over to the house the next time, I asked him what he got for his allowance.
“Five dollars, if I do all my chores.”
Nothing captures the true spirit of Christmas like a traditional Nativity scene and the folks at Buzzfeed have collected 25 of the most awesome nativity scenes. So as we say good-bye to another Christmas, check out a sampling below and see all 25 here.
If you existed anywhere near L.A. in the 80′s, and listented to K-ROQ any time at all in the month of December, then you know what I’m talking about. It’s The Waitresses’ holiday masterpiece, “Christmas Wrapping:”
This isn’t just bubblegum pop: The Spice Girls covered it in 1998, and the character of Brittany sang it on an episode of “Glee” this year.
So…um…uh…yeah, maybe it is bubblegum pop, but it’s damn fine bubblegum pop.
The Waitresses, best known for another K-ROQ classic, “I Know What Boys Like,” hailed from Akron, Ohio, along with sui generis new wave oddballs Devo (must be something in the water).
I have trouble holding two opposing thoughts in my brain at the same time: how can magnets pull at each other when you face them one way, yet repel each other when you face them the other way? Why, as you get older, would evolution add hair to your back while taking it away from the top of your head? What’s the deal with Log Cabin Republicans?
And how is it that, on the same day, I read about Lindsay Lohan’s judge praising her for finally showing up to her community service after four years of DUI’s and probation violations, when, at the same time, punk rock kids in Aceh, Indonesia, are arrested and detained for ten days for the grave offense of having mohawks?
For those of you who are on a mission to find the chinkiest holiday gift for your loved one, here’s a suggestion that comes from loyal reader Chris:
It’s the Sushi Service for Two! If the Chinky Chinese figurine dude isn’t reason enough to buy something meant to be used to serve the Japanese-iest of foods, the product description itself should clinch it:
Serving sushi on regular dinner plates just doesn’t do this artful food justice. This whimsical set is a sushi sensation to tempt the eyes, as well as, the palate.
This 6-piece set includes:
– 2 serving plates
– 2 dipping bowls & holders
– 2 sets of chopsticks
It even comes in its own chinky box:
I should never have read past the headline.
“Suspect, Jail Share Same Name.”
Perfect. Done. Just add a touch of snark and call it a day.
On Wednesday, November 30, retired Colorado sheriff Patrick J. Sullivan Jr. was booked into the jail named after him: the Patrick J. Sullivan Jr. Detention Facility. Nice.
I can only assume he got a corner cell with a view.
Sullivan, 68, was arrested on a charge of “the unlawful distribution, manufacturing, dispensing or sale of a controlled substance.” The controlled substance was meth, and Sullivan preferred the barter system to cash.
In exchange for the drug, the married ex-sheriff demanded sex from his male customers.
The folks at Everything is Terrible just dug up this 1993 video where our good friend George Takei discusses McDonalds/Paramount Pictures promotional opportunities while walking through the backlot of the studio lot (including the sets for Star Trek: The Next Generation and Deep Space Nine).
Needless to say, watching this might be the most awesome way to kick off the weekend:
If I wasn’t guilty of it myself now and again, I’d probably crack down harder. The thing I’m not cracking down on enough is one of the most common of petty household crimes: fake hand washing.
You run the water, you pass your fingers under it, but you don’t really lather up and properly clean your hands.
I usually wait for my sons, 11 year old Gabriel, and 15 year old Rafael, to commit the offense before I call them on it. Bleeding heart liberal that I am, I don’t believe in “prior restraint.”
Rafael, say, will go into the bathroom, and, when he’s finished taking care of his business, I’ll hear him turn on the water. Not three seconds later, the water goes off. The minute he steps out of the bathroom….
So you’re a 17 year old high school student, your GPA is 4.0, you’ve scored 2150 out of a possible 2400 on the SAT (something you call “pretty low”), and you’re filling out your application to Harvard. You get to the section where you have to check off your race. Your father is of Norwegian ancestry, and your mother immigrated from Taiwan. Your name is Lanya Olmstead.
What box do you check?
“I didn’t want to put Asian down,” explained Olmstead, “because my mom told me there’s discrimination against Asians in the application process.”
Olmstead checked “white.”
Could this be a case of reverse affirmative action? Of Asians being punished just because they’re doing too damn well?
Collecting Pez dispensers. Making music. Painting.
It’s the useless things we humans do that elevate us above the beasts of the field.
Dancing. Playing cards. Flying kites.
It’s the things we don’t have to do – more than the things we do have to do – which define us. We all have to eat, sleep, work and poop. But we don’t all have to build sand castles, make lanyards, or collect David Bowie records.
It’s in the useless that our individuality shines.
In my wife Linda’s case, her individuality shines through 52 Pez dispensers. Here they are, by category.
…even a missing ear can’t dampen Mickey’s spirits.
I’ve been known to dismiss Barbie as a harmful symbol of everything that’s wrong about our culture and the way we market “unrealistic” images of womanhood to little girls, but even I have to admit this is pretty damn awesome!
Meet Zombie Attack Barbie (with Zombie Ken):
This would make the perfect holiday gift for that young, impressionable girl in your life. Unfortunately, there’s one, little problem…Zombie Attack Barbie doesn’t technically exist.
Now this is more like it. Check out this geektastic dual piano rendition of JUST LIKE HONEY by The Jesus and Mary Chain. These kids are so adorable, especially the girl, who I would’ve crushed on back in high school. Let’s hope they do more piano covers of ’80s alternative rock bands!
(Via Boing Boing)
