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What the Fuck–Chinese Baby Flesh Pills?!

  • May 9, 2012 3:53 pm

I’m always amazed at the shit people will take in the name of enhancing their sexual performance. Why anyone would think ingesting shriveled rhino penis will make them more virile is beyond me, but this latest trend out of Asia is even more fucked up:

Sexual enhancement pills made from the “powdered flesh of dead babies.”

Apparently, this disturbing issue came to light this past Sunday in South Korea when customs officials announced that they had uncovered at least 35 attempts to smuggle a total of 17, 451 of the capsules from China since August.

The practice stems from a belief in some circles that eating the body parts of young infants will “give a person special physical strength or cure disease.” To which I reply once again—what the fuck?!  Read more...

Karaoke Etiquette or How to Avoid Musical Herpes

  • April 23, 2012 12:01 am

We take our karaoke very seriously at YOMYOMF. Or at least one of us certainly does:

That’s my fellow Offender Anderson and he’s definitely the King of Karaoke. Which reminds me of a famous Anderson karaoke story that’s achieved a level of infamy here at YOMYOMF central. Anderson often works long hours and sometimes he’ll just doze off as I learned last week when I was riding along in his car as he proceeded to take a brief nap at a stop light.

Anyway, as this story legend goes, after a particularly long day at the Hawaii International Film Festival (where Anderson is the head programmer), he was letting lose at karaoke as he is known to do. Waiting his turn with the mike in his hand, Anderson fell asleep. But as soon as his song began, Anderson suddenly sprang to life and sang his heart out. As soon as his song ended, Anderson immediately fell asleep, only to magically awaken when his next selection began. I’ve been told it was quite an amazing sight to behold.

But…this blog isn’t about Anderson, it’s about me. And a little thing called karaoke etiquette. As defined by me.  Read more...

French Presidential Campaign Ad is Cray!

  • April 22, 2012 3:54 pm

And you thought the US Presidential election season was heating up? France is going through a similar and crazier election season with the incumbent, Nicolas Sarkozy, at risk of being a one-termer. And if today’s primary election is any indication, it looks like Sarkozy has got an uphill battle, as socialist Francoise Hollande, handily beat him. They will face off on May 6th. They will be also facing off with extreme right-winger Marine Le Pen, who can be equated to as a French Sarah Palin. Seriously, this presidential election is cray!

How cray? Check out this latest Presidential campaign ad for Francoise Hollande:YouTube Preview ImageYep, that’s Jay-Z and Kanye West’s “Niggas in Paris” from their album Watch the Throne. Hollande has been painted as the minorities’ president, attracting major support from many working class and ethnic communities. Does this also give him gangsta/street cred?  Read more...

Happy 4/20!

  • April 20, 2012 1:47 pm

What better way to commemorate this special day than by revisiting an oldie but goodie—a few years ago Detroit police officer Edward Sanchez took home some marijuana that he had confiscated and decided to bake them into some brownies.

Well, the brownies turned out be stronger than Officer Sanchez had anticipated, leading to this classic 911 call where Sanchez told the operator such gems as:

Check out the full audio of the call below and then join me for some Twinkies and pizza.  Read more...

Why? The World’s First Lickable Elevator

  • April 19, 2012 4:00 am

While I am sure other elevators have had indiscriminate tongues lather their walls, handle bars and buttons just for shits and giggles by some odd fellows here and there, this one, on the other hand, was designed on purpose. The brainchild of some wazoo advertising firm and some British baked good called Jaffa Cakes, the lickable office elevator, at London-based communications company Engine, was covered in 1,325 lickable Jaffa Cakes—you could say it was a ‘tasteful’ alternative to a regular elevator.  Read more...

Who Wants to Go Vampire Hunting in India?

  • April 17, 2012 11:10 pm

If you want to make a few bucks hunting down some blood-sucking creatures of the night, a trip to India may be in order.

It seems that vampires have been “sucking the blood” out of the local cattle in the town of Dharampuri in Tamil Nadu. Things have gotten so bad that apparently residents are painting religious symbols outside their homes to ward off these vampires known as Ratha Kaatteri.

It’s become such a problem that local politicians are offering a reward of 100,000 rupees (around $2,000 US) to anyone bringing in a vampire corpse. However, the politicians are using the reward more as an attempt to expose the vampire stories as a hoax perpetuated by late-night bootleggers who do not want to be disturbed as they pry their trade. If no vampire corpse is produced despite the reward, then they must not exist, right?

But whether the stories are bullshit or not, I do offer one piece of advice—if this is you:  Read more...

Ladies! Your vagina may be too brown

  • April 12, 2012 1:06 am

YouTube Preview ImageSaw this over at Jezebel: Check out this advertisement depicting a South Asian couple, who are very fair skinned (just an observation), and the woman’s ennui of suffering through the idea that her vagina is just too brown. But don’t fret! There’s a new product out there that allows you to whiten your hoochie-coo.

It’s as if the woman in the commercial was suffering through some kind of infection, or worse, the blue waffle (Inside YOMYOMF joke… By all means, DO NOT GOOGLE “blue waffle.” I will never forgive you, Offender Jerome. You’ve been warned). No, she was just depressed because, hey, her vagina was too dark. Never mind the fact that her equally fair skinned boyfriend/husband had no worries in the world, sipping his coffee and getting ready for yet another awesome day!  Read more...

RIP Sepia Mutiny: The Shrinking Blog Sandbox

  • April 3, 2012 12:01 am

I’d always know when Sepia Mutiny posted a link to a blog on YOMYOMF because we’d see a significant spike in our traffic. And they were kind enough to link to us on a number of occasions. So for that reason and many others, I was sad to see this announcement last week:

After much deliberation we are going to send Sepia Mutiny on to retirement and cease all new posts after April 1st, 2012, almost 8 years since we first started (August of 2004).

It may have sounded like an April Fool’s joke, but as readers learned yesterday, the news was all too real. The internet’s preeminent South Asian American blog is no more (though the twitter feed and blog archive will be up for awhile).

Sepia Mutiny was popular and widely read so this announcement caught many off-guard. So what were the reasons for its demise? Here’s what they had to say:  Read more...

Why Racists are Upset with the ‘Hunger Games’ Casting

  • March 26, 2012 1:47 pm

Based on its weekend box office take, looks like I may be the only person who has yet to see Battle Royale Hunger Games or read any of the books so I can’t comment on the “authenticity” of the casting. But others don’t seem to have that problem as you can see (WARNING: minor spoilers ahead especially for those of you who thought the cast of the movie was White):

It seems some “fans” of the book were upset that Black actors were cast in the roles of Thresh, Cinna and, especially, the “adorable” Rue. BTW, this is Amandla Stenbery who plays Rue in the film and she looks pretty damn adorable to me:

 Read more...

Jeremy Lin Goes All Ninja on Yo’ Ass

  • March 21, 2012 2:11 pm

Saw this over at our friend Angry Asian Man’s blog. It’s the new Jeremy Lin action figure:

And yup, it has the whole GI Joe “Storm Shadow” motif going for it because…well, who doesn’t automatically think ninja when they think of Jeremy Lin? The Taiwanese flag things is a nice touch too, but where’s the coolie hat? What about accessories like nunchucks or chopsticks or the calculus textbook that would fit nicely on that do-hickey on his back?

I guess it’s back to the drawing board. Asian “F” all the way.  Read more...

When Would It Be a Good Time to Shit All You Can on Everyone You Know on Facebook?

  • March 21, 2012 12:01 am

One night, I was on Facebook and started thinking about a meaningful and clever status update to write as if status updates can be at all meaningful. A provocative sentence popped into my mind: “When would it be a good time to shit all you can on everyone you know on Facebook?” I stopped and wondered for a moment… I wasn’t quite sure what I was trying to say but it sounded kind of neat and naughty. Why not, right? That was exactly what popped into my head.

The perfect status update.

I also thought it would be an interesting experiment as it was sort of provocative but framed within a conditional interrogative. A few hours later after I posted the update, I received several responses along with an SMS from my best girl friend K asking me why I was angry.

“What’s wrong? Why r u angry on FB?” K asked.  Read more...

And The Oscar for Best Picture Which Prevented The Murder Of Three Innocent Men Goes To…

  • March 6, 2012 4:23 am

Movies can change lives.  Can save them, in fact.

“Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory,” a film nominated for best documentary this year, is one of them.

Spoiler alert: stop reading now if you don’t want to know how the story of death row inmate Damien Echols and lifers Jessie Misskelley and James Baldwin turns out, and if you don’t want to hear Alfredo yammering from his soap box about the death penalty.

Echols, Misskelley and Baldwin, teenagers at the time, were convicted in 1994 for the horrific murder of three eight year old cub scouts.  Read more...