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Vote for Adolf L. Hitler!

  • February 22, 2013 3:20 pm

If you’re in India and plan on voting in tomorrow’s state assembly elections, you have quite an interesting list of candidates to pick from including: Frankenstein Momin, BillyKid Sangma, Field Marshal Mawphniang and the one that might top them all—Adolf Lu Hitler.

Adolf L. Hitler (2nd from left)

And if possessing a name like that might be a liability in the rest of the world, it doesn’t appear to be the case here, as the 54-year-old Hitler (a father of three children) has won three previous elections to the state assembly.

Apparently in the northeast Indian state of Meghalaya where Hitler resides, naming children after randomly famous world historical figures is not uncommon including, in this case, one of history’s most reviled dictators.

As India’s Hitler explains: “I am aware at one point of time Adolf Hitler was the most hated person on Earth for the genocide of the Jews. But my father added ‘Lu’ in between, naming me Adolf Lu Hitler, and that’s why I am different.”

The Most Awkwardly Awesome Valentine’s Cards Ever

  • February 4, 2013 12:01 am

Valentine’s Day is almost here and if you’re like me, you still vividly remember back to school and the annual ritual of passing out those store-bought generic Valentine’s cards to your fellow classmates.

Artist Mitch O’Connell remembers and he’s collected some of the most inappropriately awesome cards on his blog. You can click here to see all of them, but check out some of the best below:

Let’s All Join the NRA and Shoot Whitey!

  • January 17, 2013 7:18 pm

You may have heard that the NRA is unhappy with the gun control measures proposed by President Obama this week. So to protect the rights of all gun-toting loyal Americans, the NRA has vowed to aggressively fight the President’s efforts and one of the things they have already started to do is ramp up their efforts to increase their membership, which has been met with initial success.

If you go to the NRA’s membership page, here’s the dire message you will find:

What’s happening RIGHT NOW in Washington, D.C. could spell disaster for YOUR guns and YOUR Second Amendment rights!
Hundreds of gun-ban politicians, political appointees and bureaucrats are now writing regulations, casting votes and passing laws that could all but eliminate your right to own a gun. Their agenda starts with licensing, registering, fingerprinting, inspecting and cataloging every firearm, firearm owner and firearm transfer in the United States…

… And it ends with an outright ban on your guns!!!!

Only you can stop the anti-gunners and prevent the obliteration of our Second Amendment rights… 
by joining NRA today.

Bill O’Reilly vs. Hawaii’s Favorite Son

  • January 7, 2013 12:01 am

I’m sure many of our readers already know about FOX News Channel host Bill O’Reilly’s recent “Asian” faux pas. While discussing some of Hawaii’s social ills, which he blamed on that state’s lax drug enforcement efforts, he made this following statement:

“But you know what’s shocking? Thirty-five percent of the Hawaiian population is Asian, and Asian people are not liberal, you know, by nature. They’re more industrious and hard-working.”

Putting aside the stereotyping here of liberals and Asians (as model minorities), let me offer a rebuke to O’Reilly’s wrong-headed assertion. And there is no stronger rebuke I can make than by simply presenting my fellow Offender and Hawaii’s favorite son Anderson Le:

Take That Nigger off the TV ‘Cause We’re Watching Football

  • December 16, 2012 9:52 pm

NBC pre-empted Sunday Night Football tonight for President Obama’s speech about Friday’s tragic shooting and apparently some football fans weren’t too happy:

By now, no one should be surprised that twitter and social media have once again become the de facto mouthpiece for our nation’s racist hicks, but we can gleam two additional lessons from this incident:

North Korea Discovers Ancient Unicorn Lair

  • November 30, 2012 9:22 pm

Apparently, North Korean archaeologists have made an amazing discovery—the lair of the unicorn rode by King Tongmyong who founded the Koguryo Dynasty (277BC to 668AD).

via Gizmodo

According to Jo Hui Song, the director of NK’s History Institute of the DPRK Academy of Social Sciences:

Korea’s history books deal with the unicorn, considered to be ridden by King Tongmyong, and its lair. The Sogyong (Pyongyang) chapter of the old book ‘Koryo History’ (geographical book), said: Ulmil Pavilion is on the top of Mt. Kumsu, with Yongmyong Temple, one of Pyongyang’s eight scenic spots, beneath it. The temple served as a relief palace for King Tongmyong, in which there is the lair of his unicorn.

The old book ‘Sinjungdonggukyojisungnam’ (Revised Handbook of Korean Geography) complied in the 16th century wrote that there is a lair west of Pubyok Pavilion in Mt. Kumsu.

Racist Signs calling Asian Women “White Boy Worshipping Sluts” Sparks Protest

  • November 29, 2012 7:22 pm

 

In the post Alexandra Wallace age, Asian students at UCLA can’t get a break, apparently. According to Jezebel, a couple of signs were posted on a Vietnamese Student Union Sign and a women’s restroom this past week. They were handwritten with the messages, ”asian women R Honkie white*-boy worshipping Whores” and ”Asian Women are White-Boy Worshipping Sluts.”

Naturally, this sparked ire amongst the student body and a protest was organized. About a 100 people gathered where the first sign was found. Now, whoever wrote those signs is very lame and an idiot. But, what kind of concerns me more are the protesters themselves. I kind of don’t get those signs in the photo above… The tall guy with the stern, cold face with the sign that says, “Asian Women are a story of Bravery of Love” has me questioning whether this dude is the biggest THE JOY LUCK CLUB fanatic?

Red Dawn: Bring on the Racist Tweets!

  • November 24, 2012 11:29 pm

Should it really come as a surprise that ignorant tweets about Asians are floating around in the wake of the release of the reboot of Red Dawn where good ole’ young (mostly) white Americans fight off an invasion of evil Chinese North Korean hordes?

Various websites, like the good folks at Racebending, have already collected some of these offending tweets, which you can read below.

The Painful Secret to Living Longer Lives for Men

  • October 28, 2012 9:54 pm

According to research conducted by South Korean researchers, men can increase their life span by up to a whopping 14-19 additional years by doing one thing…become a eunuch.

And for those firmly rooted in the 21st century who have no idea what a eunuch is, let our friends at Urban Dictionary lay it out for you:

1) a male whose balls have been removed, either for government service (such as in ancient Africa and Rome) or, if the castration takes place before puburty, to prevent the voice from breaking (Italian opera’s male sopranos of the 17th thru 19th centuries). In the present day, this sort of eunuch may result from testicular cancer.

Sign of the Times

  • October 10, 2012 9:30 am

Hey boys and girls,

Can you find all the mistakes in the following tobacco store sign?

Happy Hump Day!

$65 Million to the Man Who Can Convert Lesbian Daughter

  • September 27, 2012 11:20 pm

This is Gigi Chao and her “alleged” new spouse Sean Eav:

Gigi also happens to be the daughter of Hong Kong playboy tycoon/perennial bachelor Cecil Chao Sze-tung who has claimed to have slept with over 10,000 women and is rarely seen without some hot young thing on his arm. And though he has made his disdain for marriage known in the past, daddy Cecil seems to have changed his mind with his recent announcement that he will give a “dowry” of sorts to the tune of $65 million to the man who can woo his daughter away from her lesbian spouse.

Basically, the man who successfully converts her to the other team becomes a multi-millionaire.

Yellowface, Blue Hairs, and the Challenge to Broaden Broadway

  • September 24, 2012 8:47 pm

HOWARD

After graduating with a lucrative double major in music history and communications, HOWARD HO immediately achieved his dream career in marketing, administration, and playing piano at friends’ weddings. When he had tired of his triumphs, he decided to risk it all to combine his talents (writing words and music) into a new guaranteed-moneymaking goal: writing a Broadway musical. Well, a Broadway-quality musical. Well, a musical influenced by Broadway-quality musicals…in Los Angeles. With no funding. And no producer. Even so, he’s written two musicals developed at East West Players and USC respectively. When he isn’t doing that, he’s working on sound design for East West Players and Company of Angels, composing scores for short films, and getting his master’s in professional writing at USC

I wanted to write about The Nightingale casting controversy and how disgusting it is for Asian American actors to not be cast in a major musical about ancient China. But plenty has been written here and here and here and here and here.

The latest response is a call to action by Tim Dang, producing artistic director of East West Players. He wants Asian actors to audition for parts that are not specifically Asian, and he wants audiences to go see shows that hire Asian actors. You heard the man. Do it!