A video from our Japanese friends to help you get through a lazy Sunday. May the force be with you!
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hot cock space sauce
Space… The final frontier…
These are the voyages of the NASA Space Shuttle.
Its continuing mission:
To explore strange new worlds…
To seek out new life; new civilizations…
To boldly go where no one has gone before!
And to bring hot chicken sauce on every mission because NASA food tastes like crap.
Houston, we have chicken sauce... (look carefully)
Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce – a spaceman’s best friend. Cause a little hot cock sauce in orbit can go a long, long way…
the deal with owning exotic cars
You spend the dough. You cringe at the thought of other people touching it. Now this?
What Would You Do If You Saw A Ghost?
A friend of mine in Korea sent me this link that’s making the rounds on the internet. I believe it’s from a Korean TV program where a woman dressed like a ghost tries to scare unsuspecting people. The last guy’s reaction is awesome…he definitely does what a Korean man should do in that situation. Happy Monday!
(Thanks to Sung Hi for the link)
Clean Your Balls
Ever had some balls that needed cleaning? Tried using different methods but was never satisfied? If you’ve tried the rest, now try the best…
Funny Signs: Japanese Edition
I previously posted some pics of funny street signs. Here are some more; this time from our Japanese friends. I’ll let them speak for themselves because, quite frankly, I have no idea what half of them mean. But that doesn’t stop them from being completely and totally awesome! Happy Friday!
Ear Sex – the ancient art of giving pleasure
As a kid, I would badger my mom to clean my ears at least 3 times a week. I would run to the pen cup, pull out the skinny little bamboo shovel with fuzzy cotton ball top, and scream out to my mom, “Mama, can you clean my ear???!!!” If my mom wasn’t busy outside harvesting silkworms or chopping the head off a duck, she would usually oblige. So there I would sit, Indian style, with my head kinked 45 degrees to the left or right depending upon which ear canal was being excavated. I’d usually have my hand sticking out like I was expecting someone to give me money. But instead of cold hard cash, my hand acted as a depository for the bounty of ear wax my mom would soon be pulling out of the dark recesses of my canal. It was beyond satisfying to feel the little bamboo spoon probing my ear hole, scratching and scraping the walls and occassionally hearing it encounter a little boulder of hard wax. Crunch! And then, to my delight, my mom would present me with a yellowish-green chunk of gold and let it drop into my hand. After a few minutes, I would have a little stack of wax piled on my palm and a smile on my face running from clean ear to clean ear. Little did I know that this innocent mother/son ear-probing ritual would become a fervent, lifelong obsession…
a bounty of ear pleasure
Honest Movie Titles: Oscars 2010 Edition
Courtesy of our friends at CollegeHumor, a look at the posters of some of this year’s Oscar nominees and what these films really should have been titled. Happy Oscar viewing!
File Under WTF: Japan’s Cross-Dressing Susan Boyle Imitator
Regular readers of my blogs (yes, all four of you) know that I’m fascinated by all the bizarre stuff that the Japanese seem to be into. But when I stumbled upon the following You Tube clip of Smasan Boyle, a Japanese cross-dressing Susan Boyle imitator, well…I have to admit I’m not sure what to make of this actually. It’s obviously a parody of Boyle and her appearances on Britain’s Got Talent, but can someone tell me what the hell is going on? The clip’s in Japanese with no subtitles so I can’t really follow it and it raises all sorts of questions like what’s up with the mysterious man waiting offstage who seems to be making Boyle and anyone who notices him mighty nervous? If you think you can make sense out of this, check it out and enlighten me:
I Love You YU-NA KIM (b/c Michelle Kwan rejected me…)
I loved you Michelle Kwan, I loved you hard. Did not my sexy love poem scribed with the blood of my loins inspire you to become a Fan? Twas my offerings of eternal love, worship, and a lower, middle-class life not enough? Apparently not. 48 hours of silence can truly deafen a wanton heart. My soul is cracked and my audacity to hope, guillotined. All I have left now is my Ni Hao Kai Lan doll with aluminium foil skates (I made them myself) and an ego the size of an ant testicle. I loved you. I love you. I will forever love you. But I’m a big boy and I can take a hint…
Willy Wonka: Airline Safety Guru?
Airline safety is something we care deeply about here at YOMYOMF since many of the Offenders lead a jet-setting lifestyle. Well, except for me so now that I think about it–fuck the rest of y’all! In fact, our very first blog back in July was on this very topic. Anyone who flies has probably noticed the airline safety cards you’re supposed to study carefully but most likely ignore. But if you do, you may be missing out on this:
Yup, it’s a real image from Sun Country Airlines’ safety card and, yes, that is really Willy Wonka, candy/chocolate guru, making his way to the emergency exit just like everyone else (doesn’t he have a flying elevator that would negate his need to fly commercial?).
And it’s not only Willy Wonka who gets caught up in an airplane emergency. There’s also this ballerina flying in her full Swan Lake get-up:
An Interview With John Mayer’s ‘Racist’ Penis
Musician John Mayer is stirring up a storm of unwanted controversy with statements he made in an interview in the current issue of Playboy magazine. Among his transgressions—using the “n” word (“Someone asked me the other day, ‘What does it feel like now to have a hood pass? If you really had a hood pass, you could call it a n—– pass But I said, ‘I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’”), going into detail about sex with Jessica Simpson (“Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me. Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm. Did you ever say, ‘I want to quit my life and just fuckin’ snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to fuck you, I would start selling all my shit just to keep fucking you.”) and, most interestingly, revealing that his penis is racist (“My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, ‘Yeah, I sucked his dick. Whatever.’”).
Mayer has since apologized for his comments, but the controversy continues. However, in all the media frenzy, no one has scored an interview with John Mayer’s penis himself. That is until now. In another YOMYOMF exclusive, we talk with Mayer’s penis to get his side of the story straight from his mouth head.
Punxsutawney Polamalu
Exhibit C in support of my Big Head Hypothesis:
(Thanks Dolph for sharing the clip and keeping a keen eye on big heads everywhere)
What If Marty and His Mom Had Sex in ‘Back to the Future’?
There may not be another film that we here at YOMYOMF have written about more than Back to the Future (for examples see here, here and here) as well as the film’s stars Michael J. Fox and Lea Thompson. But what if Marty McFly had been unable to thwart his mother’s sexual advances? The good folks at College Humor show you what might have happened:
Wes Anderson Reboots Spider-Man
Before it was announced that (500) Days of Summer director Marc Webb would take over the Spider-man film franchise, one of the filmmakers rumored to be in the running for the job was indie darling Wes Anderson (Rushmore, Fantastic Mr. Fox). Here courtesy of director Jeff Loveness and company is what Anderson’s take would have looked like. But where’s Bill Murray as the Green Goblin?
The Asian Carp “Invasion”: America’s New Racist Yellow Peril
The Obama administration is currently discussing an unprecedented $78.5 million plan to block the Asian carp from entering the Great Lakes by closing Chicago-area waterways (see the latest here). The “non-native” fish has overrun patches of the Mississippi and Illinois rivers after escaping from farms back in the 1970s. The Asian carp, which can grow to be 4 feet long and are powerful enough to jump several feet out of the water, have been called the “nuclear bomb” of America’s waterways because they are a potential threat to the ecosystem.
But what I want to know is—why isn’t anyone talking about the real motive behind this smear campaign against the Asian carp? It’s good ole’ racism, folks. Think about it–would all these people be so outraged if it were Caucasian carp heading for the Great Lakes? And you know they wouldn’t raise a stink if it were African American carp because that wouldn’t be P.C., but it’s perfectly OK to scapegoat the Asian carp. Now, I know some of you might think I’m being oversensitive, but just look at the facts and I’m sure you’ll agree that the Asian carp has become the new Yellow Peril for the 21st Century.
How It Should Have Ended
Ever watched a movie and thought to yourself “This ending is ridiculous!” or “Why didn’t they just do this?”. Well the funny and creative guys from How It Should Have Ended created a season full of animated parody movie endings that had me cracking up. And when I saw their take on Terminator, I knew there was pure genius behind these ideas.
What’s a movie ending you thought needed a little changing?
Kim Kardashian, a vanity fair skinned beauty
Yes, I shop at Sephora. Soft, supple, youthful skin is a requirement in my line of work. And in order to prevent premature “rasining” of thy face, I spend a significant amount of money on facial creams, lotions, toner, bull semen, etc. Shopping at Sephora helps me save money in my quest to look forever like a yellow Zac Efron.
As a loyal Sephora customer, I get emails from time to time notifying me of sales and the like. This morning I got the latest one. And who greeted me? The dreamy, Kim Kardashian. But wait? Is that really her? She’s so…white. I mean, really white. Like the color white. Like bleached white. When did this happen? Yes, I understand that she’s half Scottish/Dutch. But her other, more genetically dominant half is Armenian (Turkish/Russian). She is naturally a darker skinned lass (and a beautiful one at that). If you locked her up in a sunless mall for 10 years, she’d at worst emerge with a nice, tropical tan. Much like the Na’vi is forever blue, KK is forever brown (ish). I am vexed.
