The World’s First Washable Smartphone

Everyone knows cell phones are dirty cesspools of germs and all manner of yucky things–phones contain ten times more bacteria than most toilet seats.

oapy

Now, Japanese tech company Kyocera has found one solution to the problem by inventing its new Digno Rafre—a smartphone with Android 5.1 installed that you can safely wash.

They’re touting it as the world’s first washable smartphone and as you can see from this Japanese commercial, you no longer have to fear getting ketchup all over your phone as you snap your food porn pics:

Campaigning For Dead People

So you’re thinking about sending in $5 or $10 to Sanders, Cruz, Clinton, Fiorina, maybe even Malloy or Paul.

post2

post4

post3

That’s easy. They’re alive.

Normally I’d Have Fun with a Story About Someone Trying to Pimp Out Blow-up Sex Dolls for Money, But This is Different…

blow_up_dolls_for_cancer

This is a woman named Yang pictured above with her young grandson in the Chinese city of Langfang in the Hebei province. And yes, she is dressed like a man and those are indeed two blow-up sex dolls next to them that she is trying to sell to passing migrant workers.

Which is to say this sounds like the perfect set-up for the type of story I’d usually have no trouble poking fun at. But this case is a little different because Yang is selling the sex dolls aka “temporary wives” as a way to raise money for her grandson who has leukemia. It seems that the boy’s family ran out of money to pay for his hospital bills so the enterprising grandma moved to Langfang from Sichuan to do what she could to find the money to keep her grandson alive.

The $5 Million Dollar Billy The Kid Picture: The Real Story

billy3

Much has been made recently over the find of a tintype photograph of notorious outlaw/hero Billy The Kid and his gang, The Regulators, found for $2 at a Fresno, California, junk shop, and currently valued at $5 million dollars. Five years ago Randy Guijarro found the tintype mixed in with other photographs inside a box at the shop.

Initially he had misgivings: “I liked it because it was old-looking, but it was more beat up than I Iike,” Guijarro told the L.A. Times. “I hesitated.”

But – what the hell – in the end, Guijarro decided to shell out the two bucks.

billy5

When he got home and peered at the image through a magnifying glass, he thought he recognized a familiar face: Henry McCarty aka Billy The Kid.

billy1

On his Wikipedia page, Billy’s “occupation” is listed as “horse rustler, cowboy, gambler, outlaw.”

DeNiro, DiCaprio and Scorsese hawk new Macau casino

Remember back in the day, before YouTube, when Hollywood stars could make some extra bucks (or a few million bucks) by hawking wacky stuff in international commercials? They would keep their anonymity because these commercials were rarely seen in the States.

Well, those days are over. Case-in-point, this new $70 million casino ad starring Martin Scorsese, Leonardo DiCaprio (still basking from his most amazing summer ever with his beard and sumo knot) and Robert DeNiro.

Ka-ching!!!!

The Great Parking Space Question

What better way to kick off the week than by exercising some of your brain power? Previously, I posted a puzzle from a Curry House kids’ placemat that had stumped some of us here at YOMYOMF World Headquarters. Here’s another one. This time, all you need to do is figure out what number belongs in the spot where you see the car parked:

zsotvfjspfsqun3zd3us

If you know the answer, write it in the comments below (with an explanation for the answer). And of course if you want to figure it out for yourself, don’t scroll down to the comments below.

Advil Korea Hearts Lady Menstrual Cramps

advil

Olympic swimmer Tae-Hwan Park is the latest spokesperson to shell for Advil in South Korea. In addition to appearing in TV commercials, Park also makes an appearance on the Advil website demonstrating the various types of pains Advil can combat:

advilpains

Take a good look at that last image again:

periodpainHmm…

Yup, Asian Americans Spend a Shitload of Money

HELLO

A new Nielsen report released today confirms what most of us already knew—Asian Americans spend a lot of money buying shit stuff.

asianshopper

According to the study, Asian Americans outspend the average American household by a whooping 19 percent. And if you’re talking about the internet, Asian Americans are #1 when it comes to online shopping—77 percent of us have made an online purchase in the past year as opposed to 66 percent of the general population. The percentage of Asian Americans who have spent $2500 or more a year online is at 12 percent—double the average. And considering the rate the Asian American population is growing, this is clearly only the beginning.

So what does this mean for an “Asian American” online entity like YOMYOMF?

How Panda Shit Can Save the World

We all know there’s nothing more adorable in the world than a panda bear. Well, except for a baby panda bear:

Say it with me, people…AAAAAHHHH.

But not only are pandas cute little buggers, but they may even hold the key to saving the world. Or at least their shit holds the key (if shit had arms and could hold things of course).

Economic Win-Win Proposal

In this season of economic plans and proposals, I have one of my own that I think would be a win-win for the countries of both the United States and China. Want to hear it? Here it goes.

First, the facts (or, at least, estimated facts). Number one: according to reports, the U.S. debt to China is roughly $1.6 trillion at last count. Number two: according to estimates and reports, the U.S. movie industry loses approximately $1.2 billion to piracy of their products in China. Sure, the government there says that they’re actively “destroying” pirated DVDs, but, come on now, who are we really kidding?

On the Business…of Business

As this NBA lockout drags on (when will it ever end?!), a ridiculous number of comments/posts/articles remind me of a misuse of terminology I see continually perpetuated in conversations revolving around both the business of basketball as well as the business of film. It’s a misuse or misunderstanding of common business-related terms, something most business students learn in Business Administration 1A (or whatever class number is assigned to the “Introduction to Business” course at the college level). Here it goes:

The terms “revenue” and “profit” are NOT interchangeable.

I repeat: the terms “revenue” and “profit” are NOT interchangeable.

In this latest NBA lockout conversation, a number of complaints have arisen (mostly from the players’ side, understandably) about how the NBA has seen a “growth in revenue” in the last few years and how this should be justification that players need not sacrifice anything even given the current state of the economy.