The Great Parking Space Question

What better way to kick off the week than by exercising some of your brain power? Previously, I posted a puzzle from a Curry House kids’ placemat that had stumped some of us here at YOMYOMF World Headquarters. Here’s another one. This time, all you need to do is figure out what number belongs in the spot where you see the car parked:

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If you know the answer, write it in the comments below (with an explanation for the answer). And of course if you want to figure it out for yourself, don’t scroll down to the comments below.

Advil Korea Hearts Lady Menstrual Cramps

advil

Olympic swimmer Tae-Hwan Park is the latest spokesperson to shell for Advil in South Korea. In addition to appearing in TV commercials, Park also makes an appearance on the Advil website demonstrating the various types of pains Advil can combat:

advilpains

Take a good look at that last image again:

periodpainHmm…

Yup, Asian Americans Spend a Shitload of Money

HELLO

A new Nielsen report released today confirms what most of us already knew—Asian Americans spend a lot of money buying shit stuff.

asianshopper

According to the study, Asian Americans outspend the average American household by a whooping 19 percent. And if you’re talking about the internet, Asian Americans are #1 when it comes to online shopping—77 percent of us have made an online purchase in the past year as opposed to 66 percent of the general population. The percentage of Asian Americans who have spent $2500 or more a year online is at 12 percent—double the average. And considering the rate the Asian American population is growing, this is clearly only the beginning.

So what does this mean for an “Asian American” online entity like YOMYOMF?

How Panda Shit Can Save the World

We all know there’s nothing more adorable in the world than a panda bear. Well, except for a baby panda bear:

Say it with me, people…AAAAAHHHH.

But not only are pandas cute little buggers, but they may even hold the key to saving the world. Or at least their shit holds the key (if shit had arms and could hold things of course).

Economic Win-Win Proposal

In this season of economic plans and proposals, I have one of my own that I think would be a win-win for the countries of both the United States and China. Want to hear it? Here it goes.

First, the facts (or, at least, estimated facts). Number one: according to reports, the U.S. debt to China is roughly $1.6 trillion at last count. Number two: according to estimates and reports, the U.S. movie industry loses approximately $1.2 billion to piracy of their products in China. Sure, the government there says that they’re actively “destroying” pirated DVDs, but, come on now, who are we really kidding?

On the Business…of Business

As this NBA lockout drags on (when will it ever end?!), a ridiculous number of comments/posts/articles remind me of a misuse of terminology I see continually perpetuated in conversations revolving around both the business of basketball as well as the business of film. It’s a misuse or misunderstanding of common business-related terms, something most business students learn in Business Administration 1A (or whatever class number is assigned to the “Introduction to Business” course at the college level). Here it goes:

The terms “revenue” and “profit” are NOT interchangeable.

I repeat: the terms “revenue” and “profit” are NOT interchangeable.

In this latest NBA lockout conversation, a number of complaints have arisen (mostly from the players’ side, understandably) about how the NBA has seen a “growth in revenue” in the last few years and how this should be justification that players need not sacrifice anything even given the current state of the economy.

99%

DOMINIC

Dominic Mah is a writer, editor, director, and ex-professional gambler. He is also @dommah and @thorhulkcritic (for nerdcore reviews of film and pop culture) on Twitter. Mispronounced in the right way, his name is a strong Vietnamese curse word. 

Lately, I’ve been so moved by the events in New York and the #Occupywallst movement. As a native Berkeleyan Californian, I’m all in favor of taking to the streets when the ruling powers are untouchable by conventional means. The Occupiers’ rallying cry/slogan “I am the 99%” shrewdly appropriates a generation’s debilitating tendencies towards narcissism and whining (two things I’m perfectly good at) and redirects them towards an idea that is both unifying and empowering; that is, you are not a “special victim” nor a lonely hero; you are most people, and most people are you.

I can’t say I’ve had a hard existence. As a middle-or-somewhere-around-there-class American I still enjoy vast riches compared to the beleaguered majority of the world. But as far as ticking off to-do items on the Economic Collapse Checklist, I’ve hit a lot of the benchmarks:

Happy Hot Dog Man… I want this!

Why are people in informercials, even made today, all look like they’re characters from Saved By the Bell? Ever found your food so booorrring to eat? Well, wait no more, because now you can transform your boring weiner into the fabulous, but not phallic, HOT DOG MAN! As one tow head, bright-eyed kid says in the informercial, “it’s like a toy you can eat!” [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUTPCEA-al0&feature=youtu.be[/youtube] But wait, there’s more (speaking in Ron Popeil fashion)! The set also comes with condiment bottles called Ketchup Kritter and Mustard Monster! Shit, this is brilliant. Oodles of fun, I say! I mean, how excited are those kids with their weiners? I guess the inventor of this fine product was inspired by this?

Chinese Mistresses Not Taking It Lying Down Anymore

The Chinese have always had a contradictory attitude about the existence of mistresses, particularly when it comes to rich and/or powerful married men who have “secret” lovers on the side. On one hand, it’s a tradition that goes back to the days of the concubines, but it’s also a societal taboo that’s considered scandalous (hence, the popularity in that nation of a holiday like Mistress Day). Of course, such contradictions exist in other countries as well, but it seems that China’s mistresses are doing something about their position by asserting their voices in a way that, well, mistresses just aren’t traditionally supposed to do.

Among the things this modern breed of “new-age professional mistresses” are doing: starting websites about their “profession,” creating associations to protect their rights and even planning a festival in their honor on March 3 (as the number 3 indicates their third position in the relationship) that they hope to make an annual “affair.”

This new breed of Chinese mistresses “are young, bold, shameless, not shackled by Chinese traditional values and who don’t have to work a single day because their lovers pay them a higher salary than they could ever earn.”

One of the aforementioned websites—www.xeixi.com—is operated by China’s Association for Mistresses and is only accessible by its paid membership, which consists of 700+ women, all of whom claim to be in relationships with married men.

And what can you find on the site?

Thai Girl + Foreign Man = Ruv

There is a small province in northeastern Thailand called Udon Thani.  It’s the kind of place where John Rambo would retire.  There, about 11,000 foreign men have descended, taken a Thai lady for a wife, and made that area their new home.  I learned about this from a NY Times article via Angry Asian Man and, to be honest, I clicked on it with a slight motivation of disgust (or perhaps a desire to move there myself.  I can’t remember).  I really wanted to hate the contents of the article, thinking that it would just be a continued evolution of the 1960′s – foreign, western men getting their juicy fix of exotic Asian lady-love.  I read and reread the article and watched the accompanying video several times too.  As much as I was hoping to cry foul, I did not.  In fact, to my surprise, I found myself becoming rather introspective about how creative people are willing to get to find their version of hope, love, and happiness (and I did this all while eating 2 hotdogs and a bag of Cheetos).

I understand this topic is a polarizing issue and has pissed off as many people as it has given pleasure to for decades.  I, for one, am not a fan of rich people tempting the impoverished or the needy with their hard currency in exchange for sex or love or some sort of perverted version of love.  Yes, there are “Man Tours” of Thailand and Latin America.  Just go online and google it and you’ll find tours specializing in taking the Western man on an adventure of sightseeing, cultural exchange, and all you can eat foreign pussy.  They’re great.  Just kidding.  I don’t leave for another two weeks.  I’m not here to debate the morality of it or whether it is right or wrong.  What makes this whole east/west/south sex, love, and money exchange so complex to understand is that there are so many different versions of it.  But is it all bad (or good)?  A slippery slope indeed but it’s something I find fascinating, especially this whole Udon Thani phenomenon…

Following Hope

40ish some years ago, many of our parents immigrated from Asia to the United States for a shot at a better life and greater opportunities for themselves and their kids.  I think about my mom and dad and how scary it must have been to pack up what little belongings they had and move away from everything they loved and found familiar to the other side of the Earth.  The language was totally different as was the food, the streets, the people, the sights, and the sounds.  Talk about a scarier than hell life change.  They had very little to no money but they ended up making it work.  I wonder if I possess the guts and/or the balls to do something similar today…

How really Man are Mongolian Men?

I’m not sure if the contemporary, Mongolian male is qualified to teach an Asian American male how to be more manly (or vice versa).  I’ll explain why in a second.  This is in response to our most recent Guest Offender blog by Anne Ishii about Mangolia (which btw, I thought was very well written and funny.  Her personal blog is pretty rockin’ too).  I think Anne’s opinion is valid and very well thought out.  But, as an Asian American male, I would like to present a different point of view.  But before I start, a personal message to Anne…

To Anne – you rock and don’t kick me in the balls the next time you see me.  The fact that I’m writing something in response to your very well-penned blog is my ultimate compliment to you.  It takes a great deal of inspiration to get me to write.  Wet kiss all over (and under).

Here goes…

UB City (aka Ulan Bator) is one of the most isolated and poorest cities in the world. There are few, continuous roads that lead out of the city and fully connect a traveler to other places like Terelj, Erdenet, Darkhan, etc.   To get there, you have to take a 4×4 and traverse over paths of dirt, mud, rocks and occasional road to get from point A to point B (which I’m sure Anne experienced this while in Mongolia).  So poor is this nation and city that pretty much all of the global (western & eastern) fast food and clothing chains have yet to set up business in UB City.   Why?   Is it because Mongolians would reject McD’s, Burger King, Pizza Hut, Gap, Target, etc?   No.   It’s because the population is so sparse (1mm in UB City and almost 3mm in all of Mongolia) and per capita income is so low that none of these global chains have an economic incentive to set up shop there.

If you walk the streets of UB City you’ll notice something very, very interesting – there are very few billboards, ads, etc. (which I find awesome).  And even more, as a westerner, you will not recognize any of the ads if you were to see one (you see Coke, McD’s, etc. in the far reaches of Africa, S. America, China, etc). To be in UB City is to be trapped in modern time limbo. UB City, though poor, is becoming modern but it’s also uniquely isolated from western capitalistic expansion and hence media inundation. There are no pictures of Brad Pitt and the watch he prefers or Madonna hawking her Louis Vuitton or David Beckham sporting his bump via Calvin Klein. There’s virtually none of that. Also, there isn’t magazine stands with rows and rows of Maxim, Car&Driver, Dupont Registry, Architectural Digest, Playboy, etc and there is very little variety on Mongolian TV.   Why?   Economics.  If people can’t buy it and the global mega corporations cannot project enough potential, positive growth to justify investing in an area, they’ll just stay out.   And stay out of Mongolia they have (except for one area – commodities.  but i’ll save that for a different time).  And as a result, Mongolia & UB City is pretty much an unspoiled city & people, their minds and souls not yet infected or challenged by the images, media, and ideals of Western Capitalism.

What does this all mean?  Two things…