The other day my Navy buddy drove through Los Angeles on his way to his new duty station in Washington state. We served together in San Diego a while back and did three tours in the Persian Gulf and one in Central America. We also enlisted in the military almost at the same time and to hear he only has seven more years to retirement was pretty shocking. RETIREMENT! Damn, I wouldn’t even be forty yet had I stuck it out and did my twenty. He was pretty emotional because he was leaving his wife and two kids behind in San Diego. I remembered and experienced that kind of feeling before and I never wish that upon anyone. But we both knew that’s the kind of thing you have to do when you sign your life away.
The California State Assembly passed a resolution proclaiming this week “Cuss-Free Week.” What that means is that every Californian is being “encouraged” not to use profanity all this week. How do I know this? Because Jasmine told me. Jasmine is 9-years-old and the daughter of a close friend who’s a single mother. I spent the good part of this evening baby-sitting her while her mother was out at a business function and I soon learned that Jasmine’s teacher had told her about cuss-free week and that Jasmine decided it was the right time to confront me about my “cussing problem.”
“Uncle Phil,” she laid into me, “I think you cuss too much. I think it’s a real problem. It’s probably why you’re so old and you’re not married. Girls don’t like boys with dirty mouths.”
“Really?” I reply. I’m only half-listening to her; too busy surfing the web on my lap top.
“That’s why my mommy left my daddy,” Jasmine continues; oblivious to my pressing need to keep up with Angry Asian Man’s most recent posts. “He had a dirty mouth.” Read more...
I wanted to share with you a video I saw recently made by some good friends I worked on from Fast and Furious. Their efforts in helping Haiti is truly inspiring and touching. Have a great weekend!
(BTW: Don’t watch the video if you’re weak of heart or are eating Hamburger Helper. Seriously. I can’t do it myself.)
That’s it. I’m now looking for ‘donation based’ knee surgery.
I am the face of the uninsured. Yes, my american-born, college-educated, creatively-blessed ass is uninsured. Except for the few years when I actually earned more than $20,000/year freelancing or when I was covered doing work as a university teaching assistant, my health insurance status changes as often as my underwear. Sometimes I can afford COBRA, and sometimes I just avoid all dangerous activities (downhill skiing, horseback riding, walking in Los Angeles) and stick to safer activities like driving my car and going grocery shopping. Read more...
Last night, CNN’s Anderson Cooper produced an eye-opening segment talking about how, for years, the corrupt Haitian government has embezzled hundreds upon hundreds of millions of donated, foreign aid money and never distributed it to it’s intended recipients, the Haitian people. Most of the money donated to better the lives of many, to build a stronger and more stable civilization, ultimately ended up lining the pockets of the elite ruling party of this Caribbean island. Can you believe this? Power and greed took precedence over the most delicate and nobel responsibility of ensuring the safety and well-being of a nation’s children. The situation in Haiti is beyond terrible, but it’s quite possible that the severity of this disaster could have been minimized had the ruling party of Haiti just done the right thing from the start. Such a shame…
“So when are you going to visit?” Henri would always write in the annual emails we’d exchange around the holidays. “There’s a truckload of Haitian hospitality just waiting for you.” “Soon,” I would reply. I could just imagine him reading my response from the modest Port-Au-Prince apartment Henri shared with his wife and five-year-old son and rolling his eyes. It’s not that I didn’t want to visit my friend in Haiti, it’s just that it never seemed…convenient. But after yesterday’s devastating earthquake, I wish I had.
Henri would try to entice me to come with descriptions of how beautiful his country was. He promised to take me to his favorite place—Île à Vache (Cow Island), a small island off Haiti’s south-west peninsula which was a popular tourist attraction that many considered to possess the most amazing scenery in all of the Caribbean. He told me of this one section of a mangrove forest that none of the tourists knew about, but was the most beautiful spot in the world. “When God needs a vacation,” he would write me, “this is where he goes.” Read more...
I love Christmas, it’s definitely my favorite Holiday, the only Holiday that I look forward to. Not too into all the other ones, well maybe Halloween, but something about the 25th though. All that is important becomes clear on this day. Pretty simple, looking around I see family, friends, food, and smiles. It’s a great feeling when you sit at a table with people that really want to be with one another. No ego, no agenda, no one sizing up your monetary value, no BS. All the outside influences and pretenses that we pick up have no value at the Christmas table. It’s a sacred place, a wonderful place, a safe place. A burnt homemade cookie is a prized possession at this table . Not because what it costs but because where it comes from. With all the complaining that I do, the 25th makes me realize how lucky I am to be at this table. A smile says a million words at this table. It says, I love you, I wish the best for you, I accept you for who you are, I’m here for you no matter what. If Santa were to grant me one wish, I would ask that all my fellow Offenders are at their “Christmas Table” feeling loved and happy. Merry 25th all.
Thanks to my fellow Offender Anderson for posting the clip of the awesome Israel Kamakawiwo’ole’s version of “Over The Rainbow.” It made me think of another great version of the song by another artist who is sadly no longer with us–Eva Cassidy. Here’s her rendition from a 1996 performance:
Honestly, it sucks to be a woman sometimes. I wish I had a penis. All it would do is stand up at inappropriate times and maybe even entertain me for hours. (Look! It goes up, then down, then up, then down…)
In celebration of Alfredo’s ongoing “3 Good Things, 3 Bad Things”, I’ve got a list to share with you. It’s the PMS list.
3 Good Things About Being A Woman
1. We get to wear bright, soft things made of cashmere and fluff our faces with the finest powders and silkiest brushes.
Countless words have been written about John Lennon over the years so I don’t really think there’s anything new or profound I can add. I was just a kid in elementary school when he died exactly 29 years ago so I was too young to really understand his impact and why his death hit people so hard. I grew up listening to the Beatles so the music was a part of my life from my earliest memory and of course it was great. But it wasn’t until I was much older before I understood that the Beatles and John Lennon, in particular, was about more than just awesome music. Read more...
The Thanksgiving holiday — and with it YOMYOMF’s Flava of The Week category — has officially moved on. However, I’m of the opinion that plaudits for genuine selflessness deserve more than an annual, single day shout out — not that gracious deeds should be committed solely for the purposes of winning a competition. Heroism and inspiration exist daily. On the hour. By the minute. 24-7-365. Such is the case with Efren Penaflorida.
Efren, an unassuming 27-year old teacher from The Philippines with the dedication to service of a Mother Theresa and the determination of a K2 summiteer, was awarded CNN’s Hero of The Year at the Kodak Theatre in a ceremony televised before an audience of millions Thanksgiving Day. His acceptance speech was nothing short of World Class. Read more...
My last post on Esther Wong and her Madame Wong clubs sparked some of the coolest feedback I’ve received of anything I’ve written here so far. It’s been great reading the comments by others who remembered MW with fondness, but I also received emails from people I hadn’t spoken to in a long time (and frankly were surprised they read this blog at all) who were also a part of the scene. Read more...
I know Thanksgiving is over, but I just wanted to say thank you San Francisco, I love you. I love your skyline, your clanging cable cars, your steep hills, your incredible vistas, and most of all, your diversity. I grew up going to Chinatown for live blue crabs and sitting embarrassed on the bus as the crabs tried to claw their way out of the paper bags. I sat on the bus listening to 15 languages being simultaneously shouted across the aisles. I celebrated childhood with either Rose or Black Sesame ice cream from Polly Ann’s Ice Cream in the Outer Sunset, or Macapuno or Corn ice cream from Mitchell’s Ice Cream in the Mission. I spent my high school years ghost-hunting in Golden Gate Park looking for the White Lady (a ghost who’s apparently still searching for her child) at Stow Lake. Read more...
Last Saturday, before an audience of hundreds of millions worldwide and a live SRO crowd at MGM Grand Arena in Las Vegas including Magic Johnson, Brad Pitt, Marky Mark Wahlberg, Will Ferell, Phil Ivey, Derek Jeter and numerous thick-faced politicians, Manny “Pac Man” Pacquiao systematically TKO’d World Boxing Organization welterweight champion Miguel Cotto in the 12th round and in the process became the first boxer in the entire history of the sport to win an extraordinary 7th (!) World Title in his 7th different (!) weight class. No boxer prior, not Muhammad Ali, not Rocky Marciano, not Joe Louis, not Jack Dempsey. Not Oscar de la Hoya (whom he vanquished), not Sugar Ray Leonard, not Jake LaMotta. Not Rocky Balboa nor Ivan Drago; not Maggie Fitzgerald nor Mickey O’Neil; not Piston Honda nor Drederick Tatum, has ever achieved the feat that the 30-year old Filipino accomplished. Time Magazine editor Howard Chua-Eoan’s extensive feature on Pac Man is a must-read. Read more...
(Featuring a video of Arnel Pineda and Charice Pempengco… two examples of what a lot of karaoke can do for you.)
First off, “You are where you came from, ” is a saying that ends in a preposition and that annoys me. Now people in my home town, wouldn’t catch that. They don’t care. Most of the people in the neighborhood where I grew up were bilingual, trilingual, quad-lingual, and were content with getting their point across. Getting picky over grammar was being an asshole.
But who of you, after finishing high school, decided to leave your home town and why? Read more...
i know, economic stuff is like eating sand, so i’ll keep it under 5 sentences so as not to offend…
Today the Dow Jones closed near 10,300 (a sign of economic growth and recovery) BUT gold finished the week at near record levels of almost $1,120 per ounce (a sign of a serious, future economic instability). How can the two exist at the same time if the U.S. Gov’t and many well-respected economists say that the worst is over, the recession is behind us, and we’re on the road to recovery? Great economic health (high Dow Jones) will usually result in low gold prices and vice versa. A high Dow and high gold prices cannot exist in the same sustained reality – someone be fibbing through their butthole – but who? We be living in some funky times baby…
This incident still gets me. Although it happened a couple of weeks ago, I still replay the images in my head. I run into these types of people now and again, and let me tell ya, it’s always a mix of hilarity, rage and pure befuddlement. Allow me to explain my recent run-in with the “sensitive pony-tail man!” Allow me to preface that 9 out of 10 times, the sensitive pony-tailed man, or SPTM, is usually a white dude, but I have met other iterations of Asian, Latino, etc. And 9 out 10 times, they’re usually douches — self righteous yahoos who think they are citizens of the world, limit their carbon foot print, drink fair trade coffee, carry a water bottle with them everywhere, and are vegan. Now keep in mind that these qualities are all fine and good and well intentioned peeps, but SPTMs do this solely to feel good about themselves and chase young, impressionable ass. Plus, the SPTM doesn’t even need a pony tail to be a SPTM, but he might as well should have one. So, onto my story of the SPTM at my parent’s house a couple of weeks ago…Read more...
Forty years ago today, a new children’s show aired for the first time and revolutionized the landscape of television. That show was Sesame Street and I would not be the man I am today if it hadn’t been for Bert and Ernie and Oscar and Big Bird and Kermit and the rest of the gang. So I can’t let this day pass without a short tribute. Happy birthday, Sesame Street!
2 random people at a nursing home exhibiting human nature at its best...
A very smart and ambitious young filmmaker once said to me, “Film is about capturing the moments.” He said this with a sparkle in his eye and a maddening sense of play.
Life IS a series of moments. Big moments were obvious: a death, a wedding, a successful home run. But what he opened my eyes to were the small moments, the little things that accumulate over time and is worth more than we know. And the people who seem able to give the gift of little moments are old people. Read more...
My last post on 
