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Boston Cream Thigh…Yummy, and Less Fattening than the Real Thing!

  • October 2, 2012 4:38 am

C’mon, they were practically begging for it!  With names like “Boston Cream Pie,” “Peanut Butter Cups,” and “Chocolate Fudge Brownie,” it would be a crime not to parody these in porn!  You’re a mere key stroke or two away from “Boston Cream Thigh,” “Peanut Butter D-Cups,” and “Chocolate Fudge Babes.”

I’d like to think the old hippies who founded the company would’ve approved.   Check it out: they practically looked like 70’s porn directors.

They came of age in the free love, “if you can’t be with the one you love, then love the one you’re with” era.  And how could they possibly object to the inclusive, multicultural vibe of this forward thinking porn tribute?

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Vegetarian for Carnivores

  • September 19, 2012 5:14 pm

When I was kid, I fell in love with vegetarian cuisine when my mom and dad brought me to the nunnery in Shatin where we would pay respects to my ancestors whose soul plates were placed there. My family and extended family would have a vegetarian feast with my favorite dish “Vegetarian Goose,” which had skin that was crispy outside and inside were layers of soft tofu skins. The memory of that dish has lingered in my mind until this moment.

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Dayum, Dayum, Daaaaayummm!!!

  • August 23, 2012 5:55 pm

I love this auto-tuned version of from YouTuber Daym Drops, who conducts fast food reviews from his car. This song is now stuck in my head:YouTube Preview ImageThe power of his “Dayum, Dayum, Daaaayumm!!” is quite formidable. And if you haven’t seen the original, then his review will make you go out to Five Guys Burgers asap.YouTube Preview Image

Random baked goods & snacks in Taiwan

  • July 12, 2012 12:49 pm

I can barely contain my desire

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An Open Letter to Spam on its 75th Birthday!

  • July 5, 2012 6:21 pm

Dear Spam:

You turn 75 this month and while that may not be a cause for celebration for many, I just want to say—those people don’t know shit about nothing. Otherwise, they’d see you for the wonderful creation you are.

Yes, many look down on you and make fun of you and think of you as an unhealthy “mystery meat”. Someone even named all the unwanted emails we get after you—though if I ever meet the asswipe who did that, I’m gonna kick his Spam-hating ass.

If those people took the time and effort to really get to know you and see how tasty and versatile you are, I have no doubt they would have a different opinion about you.

What other foodstuff can be used to make Spam Musubi:  Read more...

“Asexual” Japanese Man Cooks & Serves Up His Own Balls to Diners

  • May 25, 2012 12:01 am

WARNING: If you do not want to see images of what a man’s genitals look like if you were to chop them off and cook them, STOP READING IMMEDIATELY!

As for the rest of you—This is 22-year-old Mao Sugiyama:

He is a self-proclaimed “asexual” man from Tokyo. This basically means he does not affiliate with either gender. So what better way to celebrate this fact than by having your genitalia surgically removed, cooked (garnished with button mushrooms and Italian parsley, of course) and served to five diners at $250/plate.

And how did he find those willing diners? By sending out this tweet on April 8:

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Chopsticks + Fork = the Chork

  • April 16, 2012 11:18 pm

Considering the spork has become a staple of picnics and white trash trailer banquets, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that now comes…the Chork:

It’s a combination fork and chopsticks and…well, just see how awesome it is for yourself:

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Escolar: the Pablo Escobar of fish

  • April 2, 2012 7:18 am

Ever have Butterfish?

Well, if you’re a sushi connoisseur, you most likely have.  It’s a firm whitefish that is succulent and incredibly rich in flavor.  To eat one, properly sushi-prepared, is a guaranteed, oral orgasm.  Well, at least it was for me the first time I had it – lightly seared with a dollop of apricot puree on top.  You never forget your first time.  I had three servings in less than 30 minutes.  And I joyfully swallowed each and every creamy bite.  Yum…

eat me

Never heard of Butterfish?  Perhaps you may know it by it’s other aliases like “white tuna” or “super-white tuna” or “walu” or…“Escolar.“

Shooting out Escolar is far more ferocious than being shot by Escobar

Escolar?  Yes, Escolar.  That’s the fish’s real name before it went to culinary finishing school.  Sounds kind of like Pablo Escobar, no?  And just like the Columbian drug lord, we too should fear and respect this snake mackerel fish.  For if you underestimate Escolar or Escobar, the final result is always predictably the same – bad shit happens.  Read more...

Sincerity: It’s Back!

  • March 30, 2012 4:32 am

Promise me you will boycott the men’s lifestyle blog “Guyism.”  The reason you will do this is because they described 85 year old food critic Marilyn Hagerty’s column on the new Olive Garden that opened in Grand Forks, North Dakota as…

…“unwittingly hilarious.”

Shame on them.
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There’s a reason Ms. Hagerty’s review has gone viral, and it has nothing to do with hilariousness, unwitting or otherwise.

A few excerpts from her March 7 review for the “Grand Forks Herald” newspaper:

The place is impressive. It’s fashioned in Tuscan farmhouse style with a welcoming entryway.

The chicken Alfredo ($10.95) was warm and comforting on a cold day. The portion was generous. My server was ready with Parmesan cheese.  Read more...

Why Japan is Awesome #1,005: Happy Kitchen Candy Hamburgers

  • March 25, 2012 4:51 pm

Have you ever eaten your typical fast food meal of hamburger, fries and soda and wished that your food could magically transform into candy yet still retain the taste of the original meal? Well, the Japanese are already on it with the Happy Kitchen Candy Hamburger set.

That’s right, it’s candy hamburgers, fries and soda but supposedly it still tastes somewhat like real hamburgers, fries and soda. Check out the video demonstration of how to prep this candy-infused meal:

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Chinese Chicken has Four Legs

  • March 24, 2012 10:09 pm

Apparently, they really do have everything in China. Exhibit A—a chicken with four legs:

A woman in the Chinese city of Changsha discovered the mutated chicken after she brought it home from the supermarket. The woman was understandably freaked out and said she would throw the chicken out.

However, a professor from Central South University of Forestry and Technology has told reporters the chicken is most likely safe to eat. He said the mutation was probably caused in the embryo stage from “radioactivity in the living environment” or the “high meta level” in the feed.  Read more...

Would You Like a Bourbon Shake or Hot Brunette with that Double Double?

  • February 24, 2012 4:24 am

Yes, I would – not all counterfeiting ideas are bad – but there’s a little twist here.

Caliburger, the Chinese “In-N-Out” knock off, wasn’t started by the Chinese – its founders are Americans with offices in not-so-exotic Diamond Bar, California (ie, they’re entirely sue-able!).  And how do we know this?  Because 28 year old Jonathan Wong, born and raised in Hercules, California, CaliBurger’s chef de cuisine (no, I’m not making that title up) and director of training and development, is a former manager at an In-N-Out store in Northern California.

Funny how life is filled with odd coincidences.  Read more...