What is it with Japan and Black Burgers?

GENIUS

Earlier this month, Burger King introduced its black cheeseburger in Japan. The Kuro Burger, with its black buns, have already been on the menu since 2012, but this is the first time black cheese has been added.

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Not to be outdone, the Japanese McDonalds has just announced it is also serving its own black burger—the Halloween-themed ikasumi or squid ink burger—although this appears to have the less disgusting more traditionally colored cheese.

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Why Japan is Awesome #559: Condom Meals I Want to Make for You

Considering that a semen cookbook already exists (yes, it’s a real thing), a condom-based cookbook seems almost quaint by comparison but alas the Japanese cookbook entitled “Condom Meals I Want to Make for You” is here regardless and as its title suggests, the book exists to show you the many ways you can cook with condoms.

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The e-book by Kyosuke Kagami includes recipes such as “Condom meat stuffing” and “Condom escargot cooked with butter”.

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SF Chinese restaurant don’t give a fuck about your “gluten free” requests

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We all know that San Francisco is a foodie town, full of health nuts with their gluten free, organic, flack seed ways. But sometimes, these special dietary requests can be a bit too much. Case-in-point, this Chinese restaurant called SO, located in the SOMA district.

Apparently, the owner, who is also a chef, blew a gasket and closed his restaurant early because of two back-to-back incidents — first when one party refused to pay their bill because they deemed their meal “too spicy” and secondly, when another customer cursed him out.

Hence, the signs he posted on his window. However, Eater reports that the restaurant has re-opened today.

Who Ya Gonna Call? Krispy Kreme for These ‘Ghostbusters’ Donuts Which You’ll Then Share with Us

Recently we took a YOMYOMF field trip to watch the 30th Anniversary rerelease of Ghostbusters. The movie’s still great, but what’s even greater are these Ghostbusters-inspired donuts that Krispy Kreme will start offering come Sept. 29:

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There will be two different donut types as described below:

Ghostbusters Doughnut: A marshmallow Kreme-filled shell topped with white icing, a decorative green “splat” inspired by Slimer’s green slime, and topped with a Ghostbusters logo sugar piece.

Stay Puft Marshmallow: A marshmallow Kreme-filled shell topped with white icing, decorated with a chocolate frosting Stay Puft Marshmallow Man face and a sugar piece hat.

Mmm…Ramen Donuts

Considering we have everything from ramen pizza to ramen tacos to ramen chicken nuggets, it’s about time someone came up with the next evolution of ramen. And someone apparently has. Behold the ramen donut:

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These are currently available at Osaka Ohsho stores in Japan but I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before they hit our shores.

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Fried Chickenize Your Computer

I’ve had fried chicken on my mind recently (don’t ask) so seeing this put a little smile on my heart (yes, it has been scientifically proven that hearts can smile):

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It’s a KFC fried chicken keyboard. And even cooler—the only letters visible on it are “f,c and k” (think they forgot the “u”).

And if that weren’t enough, there’s also a matching drumstick mouse:

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And USB stick:

Getting Coffee at the ‘Most Depressing Starbucks in America’

This is what folks are calling a “horror show” and the “most depressing Starbucks in America”:

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Newly opened this month, it’s located on York Boulevard in Highland Park and as fate would have it, it’s right on the route from my place to our YOMYOMF offices in South Pasadena. So on a blazing hot sunny afternoon (aka yesterday afternoon) I paid a visit after gorging out on 1/3 pound burger and chili fries at nearby Oinkster working out strenuously at a nearby gym.

Why is this Starbucks so bad? Many are comparing its design aesthetic and atmosphere to that of a prison. As one reviewer on Yelp wrote: “THIS IS THE WORST STARBUCKS EVER! Where is the warmth? Where is the interaction between the employees and customers? This location looks like a jailhouse and is less than what we deserve as a community!”

Yup, the Panda Express Orange Chicken Burrito is a Real Thing & I Ate It

Panda Express Innovation Kitchen in Pasadena. Opened July 2014.

Panda Express Innovation Kitchen in Pasadena. Opened July 2014.

I know I’ve dissed Panda Express before, but I’ve also admitted that I do enjoy it every now and then. So when I heard of the recent opening of the Panda Express Innovation Kitchen and that it was just miles from the YOMYOMF offices in Pasadena, California, of course I had to try it (as far as I know, this is the sole location so far). But what clinched it for me was knowing that the menu included an orange chicken burrito.

Yup, you heard that right—a Panda Express orange chicken burrito.

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So my fellow Offender Anderson and I headed over there for lunch today. The first thing we both noticed was that this was the cleanest Panda Express we’ve ever been to. There’s even a lounge area where you can sit in comfy chairs and watch TV while you’re eating.

Around the Horn: The High Cost of Food

Vintage Cave, Hawaii

Vintage Cave, Hawaii

How much is too much for a meal? How much would you pay for food? In Hawaii, Vintage Cave has a set menu price of $295 and Sushi Ginza Onodera has a omakase set menu price of $250. Would you pay this much for just one dinner (drinks not included)? How much do you value what you eat, and the way it is prepared and presented? What’s the most you’ve paid for a meal?

ALFREDO: For the meal itself, I have no idea what I would be willing to pay. I like good food, don’t get me wrong, but I’m not really a “foodie,” so it comes down to the overall experience for me – yes, what I’m putting in my belly, but more importantly, who I am with, my state of mind, the million and one particulars of that moment. For a great food “experience,” I don’t mind opening my wallet. I have one dear friend who always makes me laugh no matter what kind of day or week or year I’m having: with him, ridiculously overpriced sushi or cold pizza out of the fridge are pretty much the same to me.

You’ve Been Kimchi Slapped!

JUNK_FOOD

Here’s a gif that’s bound to make your Tuesday a little brighter:

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Yup, that ajumma is administering the purest form of Korean frontier justice: the kimchi slap.

The above gif comes from the Korean drama series entitled Everybody Kimchi, which is set against the backdrop of the kimchi industry. Now, I don’t know anything else about the show and, frankly, I don’t care. All I know is any show that includes the little-known and little-seen kimchi slap is alright in my book.

And what can Everybody Kimchi teach us about the kimchi slap?

American Fast Food Chains Serving Expired Chinese Meat and…So?

JUNK_FOODNews broke today that China-based Husi Food Co. has been selling expired beef and chicken to American fast food giants McDonald’s, KFC and Pizza Hut. They allegedly did this by repackaging the stale meat and putting new expiration dates on them. Of course, reps for the fast food companies have announced they are no longer purchasing meat from Husi and are launching their own “investigations.”

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Here’s all I have to add to this—is anyone really surprised by this news? And does anyone really believe that the fast food companies are genuinely surprised by this either?

The Great KFC Anti-Phil Conspiracy

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Damnit, I’m just a red-blooded American man and as such occasionally I feel the need …the need for some KFC original recipe chicken and biscuits. Which is why what I am about to share with you is so disturbing. Up until very recently, there were three—count them three—KFC locations within a short distance from my home in the Los Feliz/Silver Lake area. Now, there are zero.

I repeat—zero.

The KFC on Sunset Blvd. in Hollywood—CLOSED:

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The KFC on Virgil—CLOSED: