The other day my Navy buddy drove through Los Angeles on his way to his new duty station in Washington state. We served together in San Diego a while back and did three tours in the Persian Gulf and one in Central America. We also enlisted in the military almost at the same time and to hear he only has seven more years to retirement was pretty shocking. RETIREMENT! Damn, I wouldn’t even be forty yet had I stuck it out and did my twenty. He was pretty emotional because he was leaving his wife and two kids behind in San Diego. I remembered and experienced that kind of feeling before and I never wish that upon anyone. But we both knew that’s the kind of thing you have to do when you sign your life away.
As we sat there eating in Los Feliz, flashes of great and horrible memories vividly came back during to my time in. It’s funny how the military and prison are so similar in a way. I use to always mention about my time in, how much time I had left, waking up everyday to horns, wearing uniforms with names (numbers), shaving your head, eating crap food, stuff like that. But of course nothing is the same but actually everything is. It did feel like a jail. No freedom, no say, no happiness. And thats why I got out. But one great thing was I did make some life long friends.
Our friendship grew when we started our own television show on the ship. It was a Tom Green MTV style variety show. Neither of us knew anything about filmmaking nor editing. But any type of distraction when being away from family and friends was good. This was quite the stepping stone for my passion in film production. But there was always one thing that stood out to me about the show towards the predominantly white crew. Of the 450 crew members onboard, I was the only Chinese guy and he was the only Japanese guy there. Talk about outnumbered. And oddly, I would always have people come up to me and ask, “How do you two get along? Aren’t you a chink and he’s a jap?” And I’d always reply, “How do you have sex with your wife? Aren’t you brothers and sisters?” If people didn’t see us as Americans, the war wouldn’t be with Iraq but with ourselves. Either way, everyone realized we were there for one thing, to serve our country.
I’d always assume sacrificing your life for your country was the hardest part in joining the military. Saying yes, I live in this country, my family and my friends, and now I am willing to die for them, for my neighbor, for these rich politicians, for these big CEO’s, for you a person I’ve never met. But hearing that my friend had to leave his wife and kids behind for three years was even a bigger sacrifice. It wasn’t worth the move if he was gonna be in Iraq for more than half of his time there. Hearing he wanted to get a part time job to help with the bills was another sacrifice. Why do service members have to get part time jobs? I know so many people in the military who HAVE to get a second job. Why? Shouldn’t our government be taking care of our military men and women better? I agree with everyone who says President Bush wasn’t the best President. But he and his father always looked out for the military, giving us pay raises and tax cuts. And I can see why some hate Obama too in the same way when he cut the military pay raises.
I always recall about the people I served with. The assholes, the down to earth guys, the two faces, the story tellers, the teabaggers (I have pics), even the one hot Ensign. And most of them are still serving. And I’d just have to say thank you for serving our country. Thank you for leaving your family. Thank you for getting paid less than someone at In-n-Out. Thank you to your family and your kids who don’t get to see their dads and moms. Thank you for keeping us all safe. We all owe you our deepest thanks! Good luck up in Washington state.
If a government official knocked on your door tomorrow and said you had to leave your family, friends, job, school, everything behind and now it is your responsibility to serve your country, the United States of America, could you do it? Would you do it?
wow. i really love this post. love hearing your tales when you were at sea, man.
as for your question – as much as I ideally think I could say yes, leaving my family would be a really, really hard thing to do. so i don’t know…
that being said, your friend sounds like an amazing dude (the other asian)
Great post! And personally, I don’t think I could do the things you guys are asked to do.
It’s rare to read of an API’s thoughts and feelings on service. Hat’s off.
One thing to add — my g-g-generation got the visit through a letter from the Selective Service. In fact, until recently, American men from about 1940 on got the letter to drop on by. Your life is ours. Signed, Uncle Sam.
Thanks for your service man. Its gotta be tough, most my buddies still in have been to Iraq and Afghanistan often. Crazy how for some they just get used to being over there. Always the families that have it the hardest. Never understood that until I was out and my old unit redeployed. Easy to face danger all the time. Hard not to know what is going on day to day with people you care about.
This is a very hard question Anson. I don’t know. I don’t know. I question too much the politics behind the use of the military. So to answer your question, I would gladly leave my life and my family to serve this country that allows me to have such a life and such a family: however, I could not do it in the military. PLEASE let me do it another way: Peace Corps, Americorps, anything else that doesn’t methodically train me see an ‘enemy’ in another human.
I am naive, I am a hippie, and I am VERY grateful for the sacrifices the military men and women make. (Your friend for example.) I am wary, however, of orders near the top of the chain of command and the people who pull the strings in Washington.
Thank YOU and to all whom have served and sacrificed, and to those that are still doing it.
I remember having to register for Selective Service (until I reached the “cut-off” age) and updating my info with them everytime I moved….which was A LOT. If I was called to serve, I would. Although many in this country do not view me as an “equal” member just because I’m not blonde-haired, blue-eyed, and have a funny sounding name, it is still my home and that of my family and friends. I would gladly defend them whether in my own home, at the local mall parking lot, or 1/2-way around the world in a desert or other inhospitable place.
I have often wondered about the occurrence of racism within the military. I would hope that the uniforms and the shared hardships would serve to blend the differences and to educate some of the ignorant and intolerant.
One of my best and oldest friends started and runs an awesome officially recognized charity that sends care packages year round to deployed servicepersons. Please help support those that “give all”: http://www.give2thetroops.org/
Servicepersons can signup to be included on their package mailing list. Read some of the letters and look at the pics. They are also on Facebook.
tough question, but I would def. go to war with a guy like you.
My husband retires in July..at 38 years old, from the submarine core. We have been in Hawaii for 10 years, living it up. The separations were hard…but we also got lots too. We live in a very nice home..drive nice cars..kids want for nothing.
Anson, well said! You and Mo always made me laugh and I will always have great memories of the entertainment you guys brought us. Thanks for serving with me and for being such a good friend to Charlie!
Oh and I love that picture. Did you take it?