Hey, it’s no stupider than those ridiculous “promise chastity rings” worn by the Jonas Brothers and other folks who repress normal human impulses, waiting to say “I Do, I Want To, And Can We Start NOW??!!” at their weddings, presumably performed at the hallowed Altar of The Blue Ball.
Administrators at Caloundra Christian College in Queensland, Australia, have created a pamphlet for students called “101 Things To Do Instead Of Doing It.”
…it’s not even close.
Among the recommended substitutes for scratching that most basic of human itches:
…pretend your six again.
…have a water fight.
…blow bubbles in the park.
…have a burping contest.
…go fruit picking.
…make lunch for the elderly.
…share a drink with two straws (this one, I think, runs perilously close to agitating the wrong/right hormones).
And my two personal favorites:
…look at clouds and see what you can make them into.
….surprise your parents by cleaning the house (faucets, windows, carpets, yay!).
Yes, finding giraffes in the clouds or scrubbing your parents’ toilet is waaaaaay more fun than fucking!