Ladies, Dry Your Eyes: William Hung is Off the Market

News broke last week that ex-American Idol reject William Hung who went on to a little more than 15 minutes of fame for his…uh…particular set of singing skills has tied the knot. On June 18, Hung married Jian Teng in Alhambra, California.

william-hung-2-1024

I could not let this occasion pass without conveying my warmest congratulations to the happy couple especially considering how much blog material Hung has provided us with over the years. Although considering Alhambra is just a few minutes from our offices in South Pasadena, I am a little disappointed that I did not receive an invite to this joyous event. I mean, come on, William, I’ve had your back for all these years, I think an invite with a plus one and a free drink ticket wasn’t too much to ask for.

Be the Ice Bucket Challenge for Halloween

I suppose it had to happen. With the popularity of the ice bucket challenge in support of ALS research, brandsonsale.com has just made your Halloween shopping that much easier:

Screen shot 2014-08-25 at 10.19.48 AM

The Ice Bucket Challenge costume comes with everything you need to re-create this viral trend which everyone will have forgotten about by Halloween:

–Bucket with Faux Water Film
–White Tulle Tunic with Faux Ice Cubes
–Cube Tray

And yes, it looks like you will indeed have to manually hold that bucket over your head all night so might want to work out your biceps if you’re going with this choice.

The Woman with a 36-Year-Old Baby Skeleton Inside Her Stomach

When 60-year-old Kantabai Thakre went to the hospital after experiencing stomach pains, doctors discovered a lump in her abdomen and feared that she might have cancer. But the truth, as they say, turned out to be much stranger. For what they found inside her was this:

article-2729720-20B04B7200000578-498_634x721

The skeleton of a 36-year-old baby.

Apparently, Thakre had gotten pregnant in 1978 at the age of 24, but the chances of survival for the unborn child were slim when it was discovered that the fetus was growing outside the womb. Fearing an operation, Thakre went to a neighboring health clinic to take care of the problem through alternative methods. She returned to her Indian village without having the fetus removed and the rest is…well, the remains of your dead baby that’s been in your stomach for the past 36 years.

So Tom Cruise’s ‘The Last Samurai’ was Actually Historically Accurate?

Take a look at this image from a 13th Century Japanese scroll:

utmllql7zawiran4nkua

Some in Japan are convinced that is a drawing of a white guy. Dating back to the Kamakura Era (1185-1333), the scroll depicts a samurai battle with what appears to be the white guy engaged in the fighting:

k9vplbrwtfci4pfoanhv

The Portuguese didn’t land in Japan until the 16th Century and there are examples of Japanese art starting from that time that depicts both white and black guys:

Getting Coffee at the ‘Most Depressing Starbucks in America’

This is what folks are calling a “horror show” and the “most depressing Starbucks in America”:

starbucks

Newly opened this month, it’s located on York Boulevard in Highland Park and as fate would have it, it’s right on the route from my place to our YOMYOMF offices in South Pasadena. So on a blazing hot sunny afternoon (aka yesterday afternoon) I paid a visit after gorging out on 1/3 pound burger and chili fries at nearby Oinkster working out strenuously at a nearby gym.

Why is this Starbucks so bad? Many are comparing its design aesthetic and atmosphere to that of a prison. As one reviewer on Yelp wrote: “THIS IS THE WORST STARBUCKS EVER! Where is the warmth? Where is the interaction between the employees and customers? This location looks like a jailhouse and is less than what we deserve as a community!”

Is There a Gay Interracial Couple in ‘Expendables 3’? Apparently, Yes!

(SPOILERS Ahead)

I’m sorry my fellow Offenders concluded this season’s YOMYOMF Summer Blockbuster Showdown already because I would’ve loved seeing them discuss this topic: apparently, there is gay interracial couple in the just released Expendables 3. And it’s not some random couple that pop up for a few seconds in the background. Nope, it’s two of the movie’s biggest stars. Wait for it…I give you:

arnold-schwarzenegger-and-jet-li-on-set-expendables-3

Yup, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jet Li!

Here’s how Buzzfeed describes the scene that allegedly lays this out:

Naked Blue Avatar Dude with a Sex Doll

For your weekend enjoyment, I give you a blue dude in Beijing running around with a blowup doll:

v83bnjylvfj3e1szjuec

Who is he? What does all this mean? Speculation online is that it might be someone who’s doing this because he lost a bet and the Chinese press are comparing the guy to the blue Na’vi in James Cameron’s hit film Avatar. Although I don’t remember any of the Na’vi in that film running around with inflatable sex toys, but it was a long movie so I might have missed that part. And, well, this NSFW product is apparently a real thing:

1,001 Reasons I Love Movies (#36): Lauren Bacall Teaches the World How to Whistle

Lauren Bacall + To Have and Have Not 5

On the heels of the death of Robin Williams, we lost another icon yesterday—the great Lauren Bacall.

Bacall was working as a model when director Howard Hawks cast her in her first film, 1944’s To Have and Have Not, opposite her future husband Humphrey Bogart. The movie made her an instant star and if you need proof of it, check out this famous scene from the film: “You know how to whistle don’t you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow.”

More From the Best English Language Book in the Universe

marlin

Last summer, we shared with you some of the pages from the Japanese textbook English Words That Don’t Appear on Texts where Japanese folks interested in mastering the English language can learn to say things like “What nice barbed wire.”

Now thanks to the fine folks at Kotaku, here are some more pages from the textbook you can enjoy while improving your English skills. And yes, keep that marlin away from my anus.

cecum

How Robin Williams Brought My Grandmother & I Closer Together

In the early 1980s while I was in elementary school, my maternal grandmother came from Korea to live with us. While my parents both worked, my grandmother was the one who would be there after school to babysit my sister and I. She knew no English and I had limited Korean-speaking skills at the time so it wasn’t always easy to communicate. And when she had a stroke not too long after she arrived, communication became even more difficult.

00250065-0000-0000-0000-000000000000_00000065-06d2-0000-0000-000000000000_20120831153505_29570

But there was one thing that bonded us, one thing where the lack of a common language was irrelevant and that was the TV show Mork & Mindy starring the late Robin Williams who passed away today of an apparent suicide.

My grandmother and I both loved the show for Robin Williams—for my grandmother, she could enjoy the show even if she didn’t understand what was going on because Williams’ physical comedy needed no translation. He could do something as simple as give a look of bewilderment at some strange Earth custom and that would be enough to send my grandmother into hysterical laughter (the other show she loved was Three’s Company also for the late John Ritter’s physical comedy).

Pikachus on Parade

DOG_DAYSI’ve been blogging about the lead-up to the big Pikachu event in Yokohama, Japan, this month (click here and here) because damn it, even one with a blackened heart like mine can’t help but think these Pikachus are the cutest thing this side of a puppy eating ice cream. So to brighten up our otherwise dog days of summer, I give you the Pikachus on parade:

nwokm7bmp40jtnuqiz6k

Yup, the Pikachu event officially kicked off last Friday with a parade, but if you missed it, never fear, the parade will take place three times a day until August 17 at Yokohama’s Landmark Park so you still have time to book your flight.

For everyone else, let your Monday cuteness overload commence: