Getting Coffee at the ‘Most Depressing Starbucks in America’

This is what folks are calling a “horror show” and the “most depressing Starbucks in America”:

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Newly opened this month, it’s located on York Boulevard in Highland Park and as fate would have it, it’s right on the route from my place to our YOMYOMF offices in South Pasadena. So on a blazing hot sunny afternoon (aka yesterday afternoon) I paid a visit after gorging out on 1/3 pound burger and chili fries at nearby Oinkster working out strenuously at a nearby gym.

Why is this Starbucks so bad? Many are comparing its design aesthetic and atmosphere to that of a prison. As one reviewer on Yelp wrote: “THIS IS THE WORST STARBUCKS EVER! Where is the warmth? Where is the interaction between the employees and customers? This location looks like a jailhouse and is less than what we deserve as a community!”

Is There a Gay Interracial Couple in ‘Expendables 3’? Apparently, Yes!

(SPOILERS Ahead)

I’m sorry my fellow Offenders concluded this season’s YOMYOMF Summer Blockbuster Showdown already because I would’ve loved seeing them discuss this topic: apparently, there is gay interracial couple in the just released Expendables 3. And it’s not some random couple that pop up for a few seconds in the background. Nope, it’s two of the movie’s biggest stars. Wait for it…I give you:

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Yup, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jet Li!

Here’s how Buzzfeed describes the scene that allegedly lays this out:

Naked Blue Avatar Dude with a Sex Doll

For your weekend enjoyment, I give you a blue dude in Beijing running around with a blowup doll:

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Who is he? What does all this mean? Speculation online is that it might be someone who’s doing this because he lost a bet and the Chinese press are comparing the guy to the blue Na’vi in James Cameron’s hit film Avatar. Although I don’t remember any of the Na’vi in that film running around with inflatable sex toys, but it was a long movie so I might have missed that part. And, well, this NSFW product is apparently a real thing:

1,001 Reasons I Love Movies (#36): Lauren Bacall Teaches the World How to Whistle

Lauren Bacall + To Have and Have Not 5

On the heels of the death of Robin Williams, we lost another icon yesterday—the great Lauren Bacall.

Bacall was working as a model when director Howard Hawks cast her in her first film, 1944’s To Have and Have Not, opposite her future husband Humphrey Bogart. The movie made her an instant star and if you need proof of it, check out this famous scene from the film: “You know how to whistle don’t you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow.”

More From the Best English Language Book in the Universe

marlin

Last summer, we shared with you some of the pages from the Japanese textbook English Words That Don’t Appear on Texts where Japanese folks interested in mastering the English language can learn to say things like “What nice barbed wire.”

Now thanks to the fine folks at Kotaku, here are some more pages from the textbook you can enjoy while improving your English skills. And yes, keep that marlin away from my anus.

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How Robin Williams Brought My Grandmother & I Closer Together

In the early 1980s while I was in elementary school, my maternal grandmother came from Korea to live with us. While my parents both worked, my grandmother was the one who would be there after school to babysit my sister and I. She knew no English and I had limited Korean-speaking skills at the time so it wasn’t always easy to communicate. And when she had a stroke not too long after she arrived, communication became even more difficult.

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But there was one thing that bonded us, one thing where the lack of a common language was irrelevant and that was the TV show Mork & Mindy starring the late Robin Williams who passed away today of an apparent suicide.

My grandmother and I both loved the show for Robin Williams—for my grandmother, she could enjoy the show even if she didn’t understand what was going on because Williams’ physical comedy needed no translation. He could do something as simple as give a look of bewilderment at some strange Earth custom and that would be enough to send my grandmother into hysterical laughter (the other show she loved was Three’s Company also for the late John Ritter’s physical comedy).

Pikachus on Parade

DOG_DAYSI’ve been blogging about the lead-up to the big Pikachu event in Yokohama, Japan, this month (click here and here) because damn it, even one with a blackened heart like mine can’t help but think these Pikachus are the cutest thing this side of a puppy eating ice cream. So to brighten up our otherwise dog days of summer, I give you the Pikachus on parade:

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Yup, the Pikachu event officially kicked off last Friday with a parade, but if you missed it, never fear, the parade will take place three times a day until August 17 at Yokohama’s Landmark Park so you still have time to book your flight.

For everyone else, let your Monday cuteness overload commence:

No, a Douchebag Chinese Billionaire Didn’t Die After being Hit by a Champagne Bottle Cork

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So you may have seen the story making the internet rounds this past week about Hong Kong-based billionaire Dingxiang Loeng’s apparent death at his 50th birthday party after opening a possibly counterfeit champagne bottle and getting hit in the head by the cork. In fact, you may have been one of the many who passed this story around proclaiming that the douchebag billionaire got what he deserved and that it was karma, etc…

Only problem is once again, turns out the story is complete and utter bullshit.

This alleged news was first reported in the World News Daily which, like the Onion, is a fake news site, but got picked up by legitimate sites like Boing Boing that reported it as a real story.

Porn Titles Upworthy Style

We’re all familiar with the Upworthy style inspirational headlines like “This Blind and Deaf Girl Took to the Stage and What Happened Next Will Blow Your Mind.” But have you ever wondered what would happen if you applied these Upworthy style headlines to porn videos? Well, the good folks at Pornhub did with the creation of Fapworthy (if you click on the link, know it’s NSFW). Check out a sampling of some of the headlines for real porn videos below:

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student

women

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Yup, the Panda Express Orange Chicken Burrito is a Real Thing & I Ate It

Panda Express Innovation Kitchen in Pasadena. Opened July 2014.

Panda Express Innovation Kitchen in Pasadena. Opened July 2014.

I know I’ve dissed Panda Express before, but I’ve also admitted that I do enjoy it every now and then. So when I heard of the recent opening of the Panda Express Innovation Kitchen and that it was just miles from the YOMYOMF offices in Pasadena, California, of course I had to try it (as far as I know, this is the sole location so far). But what clinched it for me was knowing that the menu included an orange chicken burrito.

Yup, you heard that right—a Panda Express orange chicken burrito.

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So my fellow Offender Anderson and I headed over there for lunch today. The first thing we both noticed was that this was the cleanest Panda Express we’ve ever been to. There’s even a lounge area where you can sit in comfy chairs and watch TV while you’re eating.

YouTube Stars More Popular (and Diverse) with American Teens Than “Mainstream” Counterparts

Hollywood trade publication Variety found the results of their most recent survey “surprising”, but for those of us familiar with the digital world, what they discovered is old news. Variety surveyed American teens ages 13-18 to find out who their most influential celebrities were and YouTube personalities handily beat out their “mainstream” counterparts. Here’s the ranking of the top 20 in order:

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The top five most influential to this demographic are all homegrown YouTube stars including our YOMYOMF Network partner Ryan Higa at #5. The most popular “mainstream” star, Paul Walker, doesn’t clock in until #6, followed by Jennifer Lawrence at #7.

Not only that, but if you compare the YouTubers vs. the traditional celebrities, you’ll see that the YouTubers represent a much more diverse line-up. The mainstreamers are fairly lily white while the YouTubers include several people of color including two who are Asian American: Higa and Michelle Phan at #17. Yup, two of the most popular celebrities among American teens are Asian American and like the other YouTube talent on this list, they are mostly unknown to the mainstream population hence the “surprising” findings. But, frankly, it’s only surprising to those who don’t have their hands on the pulse of youth culture.

The Invasion of the Pikachus

Last week, I blogged about the upcoming Pikachu event in Yokohama, Japan. Well, for those of you who have been wondering when this glorious event would get going, I give you this:

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The official Pikachu Tairyou Hassei Chu (“An Outbreak of Pikachus”) Pokémon event doesn’t start until August 9, but the first wave of 50 Pikachus have already descended on the city’s Akarenga Plaza to stake their territory. And holy fuck if this isn’t the most adorable thing: