The Latest Must-have Accessory Out of Beijing? Sprouts Growing Out of Your Head

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When I first heard about this story, I thought it was one of those fake stories that occasionally pop up on the interwebs, but alas looks like it’s the real deal. Apparently, folks in Beijing are wearing these fake sprouts on their heads:

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No one’s really sure why people started doing this, but one theory is that it’s inspired by a character in a popular Chinese animated TV show entitled Pleasant Goat and the Big Bad Wolf. Assuming they’re referring to the old dude with the sprout on his head/helmet:

Careful Where You Walk or Stand

WHYSo it appears that walking or just standing around and minding your own business in China can be a dangerous thing. First there was that escalator incident in Jingzhou last month where the ground at the top of a shopping mall escalator literally caved in and killed a woman in the process and now this–folks just minding their business at a bus stop in the Chinese city of Harbin when this happened:

Luckily, in this case, none of the five people who fell into the 10 foot sinkhole died or sustained life-threatening injuries, but damn!

Hey White People, Don’t You Know There’s ‘No Escape’ When It Comes to Southeast Asia

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In the new Owen Wilson/Lake Bell-starring film No Escape, we once again see your average white American family coming to Thailand a random Southeast Asian country only to find themselves in great danger—in this case when a rebellion breaks out that threatens any white people unfortunate to be hanging around.

Critics haven’t been too kind to the film and have pointed out its racist tendencies like in this review from the Wrap: “it’s fair to say that this new movie combines genuine filmmaking skill and effective action editing with a queasily racist subtext, one in which a bloody revolution in Asia only matters insofar as some white people might get killed.”

But while it’s not surprising that Hollywood movies set in Asia would star white folks often at the expense of actual Asians, it’s also become abundantly clear that if you are a white person traveling to Southeast Asia for any reason in an American movie, you will most likely get fucked up.

Donald Trump Trumps Jeb Bush When it Comes to Offending Asians

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So on the heels of his fellow Republican Presidential hopeful Jeb Bush, who offended Asian Americans yesterday with his comments about Asian anchor babies, Republican front runner/ex-rodeo circus clown/Hair Club for Douchebags CEO Donald Trump decided he too had to jump into the anti-Asian fray because, well, he’s Donald Trump and he’s not going to let anyone trump him especially when it comes to racism.

So during a campaign rally in Iowa tonight, he had this to say about doing business with the Chinese and the Japanese: “Negotiating with Japan, negotiating with China, when these people walk into the room, they don’t say, ‘Oh hello, how’s the weather, so beautiful outside, isn’t it lovely? How are the Yankees doing? Oh they are doing wonderful, great.’”

Then, in his version of an Asian accent, he added: “They say, ‘We want deal.’” Check it out here:

In Defense of Jeb Bush and His Asian Anchor Babies

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So Republican Presidential hopeful Jeb Bush has come under fire from the Asian American community and others for his comments regarding “anchor babies” aka the children born of non-American mothers who come to the U.S. for the sole purpose of giving birth here to win citizenship for their kids.

Originally receiving flak for using the term “anchor baby,” which many find to be derogatory during a radio interview last week, Bush went on to put his foot further down his mouth by proclaiming that what he said was not “derogatory” and folks just need to “chill out a little bit” and then made the case that when he was talking about anchor babies, that “frankly, it’s more Asian people.”

So, good job throwing Asians under the bus to keep in good graces with the Latino vote.

Dog Stuck in Bush Teaches us How to Live Life

Japanese twitter user @yamamochi223 came upon this sight while taking a walk:

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It’s a Shibu Inu stuck in a bush. Eventually, the dog was rescued, but not before the images went viral. Sure, any picture of a dog stuck in a compromising position has entertainment value, but I believe this Shibu Inu has touched a nerve because of what he or she is teaching us about life. Just look at that expression:

This Week in Internet Awesomeness: Pre-Natal “Tootsie Roll”

YOWZAAbout to give birth to her second child at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston, Yuki Nushizawa decided it was time to break out the “Tootsie Roll” for the nurses in attendance. Supposedly, this helped ease the labor pains, but that could be an excuse to cover the real reason: the uncontrollable need to get down. Check out the video below, Nushizawa and her husband are hoping to get to 1 million views ‘cause baby needs some diapers:

And just in case anyone was curious, the actual birthing process appears to have gone well:

Defeat Your Enemies in This Game and Watch Your Boobs Get Bigger

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D3 Publisher is a Japanese video game company that’s not exactly known for its high-brow intentions. And here’s exhibit #1 to support this point: Their upcoming game is titled Omega Labyrinth and as you can see from the logo below, it’s all about the boobs.

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Specifically, this is a game where defeating your enemies means your character will get the one thing she most desires…bigger breasts. Like so:

The Ding Dong Ice Cream Sandwich Regret

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It’s been awhile since I’ve been to Carl’s Jr. and today I had a Famous Star craving. So after sitting on my ass and surfing the net all morning working out at the gym all morning, I thought I’d treat myself and walked into the nearby Carl’s Jr. But lo and behold, a surprise was awaiting me. Not just any surprise but this:

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Holy shitballs, it’s a Ding Dong ice cream sandwich! I didn’t even know such a thing existed, let alone available at Carl’s Jr. for a limited time only. I don’t think I’ve had a Ding Dong since I was a kid but have many fond memories of them and the thought of an ice cream sandwich with Ding Dongs as the receptacle for the ice cream—pure heavenly genius. And they’re only $1.49! That’s what they call a bargain.