Oh Crape, Japan’s Got Crepe Vending Machines

Since I’ve been writing a lot recently about the gross bizarre wonderfully eccentric food choices in Asia, thought I’d continue that trend with a look at Japan’s crepe vending machines.

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That’s right—you can now get crepes (or “crapes” if you will) from these vending machines for under $2 U.S. and supposedly they are very good.

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KFC Korea Unleashes New Burger with Fried Chicken for Buns

Just a few days ago, I blogged about the cranberry and apple-filled cheese crust pizzas being served up at the Pizza Huts in South Korea. As if that weren’t enough fast food awesomeness for one country to claim, South Korea now has this:

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It’s the Zinger Double Down King available exclusively at KFCs in South Korea. And this is what it consists of: a hamburger patty with special sauce, cheese and bacon wedged between two slabs of fried chicken. So it’s literally a bacon burger with fried chicken as buns.

Ladies and gentlemen, behold the future of obesity cardiac arrest fast food:

I Want to Go to There: Cranberry or Apple Stuffed Crust Pizza

File this under “even more evidence that fast food in Asia is much more interesting than here in the U.S.” Now, Pizza Hut in South Korea has the Star Edge Pizza which is topped with bacon, beef, sausage, calamari, shrimp, broccoli and cheese. If that doesn’t already make it more interesting than your typical fast food chain pizza here, it also has this: your choice of a cranberry or apple cheese filled crust.

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Look, I get it—maybe I am romanticizing that which I cannot have. The truth might be this is just as unappetizing gross bleh as the fast food pizza here (save for my precious Round Table), but damnit, I don’t care. Just take a look at this:

Around the Horn: The Supernatural Edition

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I love October because my favorite holiday falls in this month: Halloween. I don’t like dressing up in costume but I love scaring people and sharing “ghost” stories. I’ve shared a number of “true” ghost stories on this blog in the past like this and this.

I don’t know if I truly believe in the supernatural but I try to keep an open mind. What about the rest of you? Do you believe in the supernatural? Any stories of weird things that have happened to you or that you’ve heard? Let’s try to scare the hell our of our readers.

ROGER: When I was in preschool, I lived in Illinois. My neighbors had two young sons my same age. They were twins named David and Luke. Like most twins, they were very different – one was very outgoing and gregarious and another was very shy and hardly ever spoke. From preschool to first grade I played with the two boys just about everyday after school. We were the three musketeers. After that, my parents moved us to California. Fast forward about twenty years, I was in Chicago on business and decided to visit my childhood home. To my surprise, the same neighbors next door were still living there. Well, at least the parents were. So I swung over to say hello. It was nice that they remembered me. After a bit of polite chit chat, I asked them how David and Luke were.

Is Nickelodeon’s Commitment to Diversity “Exploitative and Predatory”?

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Last week, Matthew Klickstein, the author of the book SLIMED! An Oral History of Nickelodeon’s Golden Age, gave an racist “interesting” interview to flavorwire (you can read it all here). In the interview, Klickstein comes off as the grouchy old man who constantly talks about how great things were in the old days and how everything now sucks (and oh yeah, get off his lawn, kids!).

So when it comes to Nickelodeon’s programming, Klickstein is very adamant that the old Nick shows were much, much better than any of the shows the kids’ network currently has on. And why is that? Well, because white people worked on the old ones and they weren’t as “diverse” as the shows today and we all know diversity=suckiness. Check out this excerpt from his interview and enjoy your weekend dose of white privilege:

What’s the Proper Response to a Penis Compliment?

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So I was at the gym this past weekend and after showering, I found myself in the locker room next to “Sam”—one of the gym regulars. Sam is elderly and always strikes up a conversation when I see him. A good guy, nothing odd or creepy about him. So it was odd on this day as the first words out of his mouth when he saw me were, “you have a fine penis.”

Wasn’t sure how to respond so I answered with a simple, “thank you.”

What was most odd about his compliment was he said it with the same casualness as one might say, “that’s a nice shirt” or “what a shame about the Dodgers”.

What is it with Japan and Black Burgers?

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Earlier this month, Burger King introduced its black cheeseburger in Japan. The Kuro Burger, with its black buns, have already been on the menu since 2012, but this is the first time black cheese has been added.

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Not to be outdone, the Japanese McDonalds has just announced it is also serving its own black burger—the Halloween-themed ikasumi or squid ink burger—although this appears to have the less disgusting more traditionally colored cheese.

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Throwback Thursday: Asian Weebles Wooble But They Don’t Fall Down

If you grew up in the 1970s and 1980s, you’re most likely familiar with the musical refrain of “Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down”. The Weebles were egg-shaped character toys that true to that musical refrain could be tipped or pushed over but they bounced right back up. And yes, there were even “classic” Asian Weebles.

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I say “classic” because Weebles were relaunched in the 2000s, but I remember having my own set of Weebles back in the day when I was a mere lad and being surprised that there were indeed Asian Weebles. If the lack of “multicultural” toys is still an issue today, it was more so 20-30 years ago when the default setting for toys was definitively set to “white” making the Weebles that much more of an anomaly.

Hey Kids, Squeeze These Animal Dicks and Get Sprayed!

The designers of these animal-shaped water guns in Japan have decided the best place to put the trigger is on the animal’s cocks dicks penises.

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I know it’s easy to look at these and ask, “what were the manufacturers thinking?” But I’d like to believe the folks who created these toys knew exactly what they were thinking. They saw the design and the triggers that are clearly penis substitutes and said to themselves, “yes, that’s exactly what we’re going for.”

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Why Japan is Awesome #559: Condom Meals I Want to Make for You

Considering that a semen cookbook already exists (yes, it’s a real thing), a condom-based cookbook seems almost quaint by comparison but alas the Japanese cookbook entitled “Condom Meals I Want to Make for You” is here regardless and as its title suggests, the book exists to show you the many ways you can cook with condoms.

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The e-book by Kyosuke Kagami includes recipes such as “Condom meat stuffing” and “Condom escargot cooked with butter”.

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Do You Know Yubiwaza?

And what is Yubiwaza I hear you asking yourself over the unsecure internets? Why, it’s the “amazingly easy art of self-defense that turns just one finger or your hands into a potent weapon of defense – without any bodily contact”. And as you can see from this vintage ad, it’s an incredible martial art that you can master at home starting in just 2 hours:

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All this for only $1.98! This sounds so amazing, I wonder why it never took off unless there’s a thriving underground sub-culture of practicing Yubiwaza enthusiasts.