The YOMYOMF Network: Yo, Is This Racist? – The YouTube Mix

  • May 16, 2012 1:31 am

Before we get to today’s topic, I want to officially announce that our YOMYOMF Network on YouTube will be launching the week of June 10. Yup, it’s about to get real in just under a month so keep reading this blog for the latest news—there’s going to be a lot more updates/exclusives and you’ll hear it all here first.

I’ve previously written about how working on our upcoming YOMYOMF Network has allowed me to reach out to artists I’ve long admired (see examples here and here). But an additional perk of the job is that it has also allowed to me to meet new people who are creating interesting work. One of these individuals is Andrew Ti, the man behind the popular tumblr site Yo, Is This Racist?

Founded by Andrew back in November after a discussion about Yosemite Sam with a fellow co-worker, Yo, Is This Racist can be loosely described as an advice column where readers submit questions about whether or not something is racist and Andrew responds with his trademark honesty and biting humor. As in this example:  Read more...

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Why Japan is Awesome #336: The Fish Tank Ice Bra with Wind Chime & Mint Leaf

  • May 15, 2012 12:28 am

Once again, the Japanese have proved their supreme awesomeness by inventing something that we didn’t even know we needed. In this case, it’s the perfect solution for keeping your breasts cool on those hot summer days. It’s Triumph Japan’s Super Cool Bra:

This “ice” bra that resembles two fish tanks dangling from your chest contains a “frozen gel” that will allow the wearer to enjoy “a cool sensation against her skin.”

Not only that, but the bra also contains a built-in wind chime and mint leaf to aid in the cooling process “by way of its refreshing fragrance and sound.”  Read more...

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An Open Letter to the Little Girl who No Longer Believes in Unicorns

  • May 14, 2012 12:02 am

Dear Little Girl:

What I saw happen to you this weekend was a travesty that broke my heart so I feel that I have to write about it in the hopes that you will read this and not give up on your dreams. And that you’ll continue believing that magic does exist in the world.

You see, I was at the same Mother’s Day gathering as you and I overheard what that grown-up woman said to you about unicorns. She told you that unicorns do not exist and that if you wanted to be a big girl, you must stop believing in them. I saw the expression on your face when this woman said that. I saw your look of disappointment. Your look of sadness. That all-too-familiar look of the innocence of youth being crushed like an aluminum can at the recycling center. I don’t know if the woman who told you this was your mom or a friend or a crazy homeless woman who had randomly wandered off the street, but whoever she was—she’s a lying whore!

Because I am here to tell you that unicorns are real. They are as real as the sun up in the sky. As real as the breasts hair $2000 Louis Vitton purse on the woman walking by my table at this very moment. As real as this bottle of Jack Daniels I’ve almost killed off while writing the previous sentence. And how do I know this?  Read more...

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To Prieenaize or To Do To Someone What Prince Did To Sheena Easton

  • May 10, 2012 6:11 pm

“You preenaized me,” my friend Joey said in his most accusatory tone.

“What’cha talkin’ ‘bout, Joey?” I replied.

“You did to me what Prince did to Sheena Easton—you preenaized me!”

For those too young un-hip to figure it out, “preenaize” is 1 part Prince (“pr”), 1 part Sheena (“eena”) and 1 part ize (“ize”). The root of this word comes from the fact that before she met Prince, this was Sheena Easton:  Read more...

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What the Fuck–Chinese Baby Flesh Pills?!

  • May 9, 2012 3:53 pm

I’m always amazed at the shit people will take in the name of enhancing their sexual performance. Why anyone would think ingesting shriveled rhino penis will make them more virile is beyond me, but this latest trend out of Asia is even more fucked up:

Sexual enhancement pills made from the “powdered flesh of dead babies.”

Apparently, this disturbing issue came to light this past Sunday in South Korea when customs officials announced that they had uncovered at least 35 attempts to smuggle a total of 17, 451 of the capsules from China since August.

The practice stems from a belief in some circles that eating the body parts of young infants will “give a person special physical strength or cure disease.” To which I reply once again—what the fuck?!  Read more...

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Japanese Monkey Man Holds World Record for Running on All Fours

  • May 7, 2012 11:21 pm

This is 29-year-old Kenichi Ito:

He has just earned a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records as the fastest man on four legs. To achieve this title, Ito has spent the better part of the last decade walking and running on all fours like a monkey, hence the nickname his friends gave him—monkey.

But lest you think the life of a human monkey is all glitz and glamour, Ito currently does not have a steady job (apparently, “running fast on all fours like a primate” is not a skill that attracts many employers) and other downsides associated with his passion include almost getting your face blown off by a shotgun blast from a hunter who mistakes you for a wild boar.

My fellow Offender Justin has talked about wanting to find an obscure record to break so we can get into the Guinness Book. I guess we can cross running fast on all fours off that list. Any other suggestions?  Read more...

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RIP Adam Yauch

  • May 4, 2012 10:43 pm

When I first heard the Beastie Boys’ music, I hated it. Even though I was just a kid and my “higher” musical sensibilities had not been completely formed yet, “(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (to Party)” seemed like the epitome of everything I despised in pop music—it was stupid, mindless and nothing more than a bunch of annoying white boys co-opting hip hop music.

It wasn’t until I saw them perform in concert with Run DMC and then later heard their album “Paul’s Boutique” that I started to come around. I found a complexity and a maturity in their work that I hadn’t noticed before. What I respond to more than anything is surprise and these guys surprised me in a major way. I became a fan.

I was introduced to Beastie Boy Adam Yauch some years ago by Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers and though I only spent an hour or so talking with him, Yauch was nothing like I expected. There was no rock star bravado or ego. By then, he was married with a young daughter, a committed activist (his big cause was Tibetan independence) and pursuing his interest in film and art. He was an interesting and sensitive soul and impressed me in a way that most celebrities don’t.  Read more...

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The YOMYOMF Network: ‘Internet Icon’ and the Unexpected Surprises

  • May 1, 2012 10:29 pm

So we’re about halfway through the shoot of Internet Icon, our YouTube competition show premiering this summer, and we’re down to our top six finalists. By this weekend, we’ll be down to our final two and the winner will ultimately be decided by viewer votes when the show debuts later this summer on our upcoming YOMYOMF Network on YouTube.

(l to r): Internet Icon judge Christine Lakin, host Chester See, producer Andy Fickman & judge Ryan Higa.

I have to say the experience of being involved with this show hasn’t turned out how I expected. Everyone’s been working long hours and fighting fatigue to make a great show under the leadership of uber-producers Andy Fickman and Betsy Sullenger (Oops Doughnuts), Bobby Smith Jr. (Ashore Entertainment) and director D.J. Viola—that’s not the surprising part. But what has been unexpected is the level of talent of our contestants and the high quality of work they are consistently producing under very adverse conditions.

Here’s how the typical day plays out: the contestants are given a “challenge” for that day’s videos. I don’t want to give away what the specific challenges are, but it might go something like this—everyone is given a grocery bag full of food and they must make a video incorporating every item in that bag.  Read more...

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This Chinese Woman is a Literal Ballbuster

  • April 27, 2012 10:13 pm

A male shopkeeper in the Chinese town of Haikou died last week when a confrontation with a woman resulted in testicular asphxiation. Or to put it in layman’s terms, the woman grabbed the man’s balls and squeezed really hard until he died.

According to reports, the unidentified woman tried to park her scooter in front of the man’s store so she could pick up her child from school, but the man wouldn’t let her. This led to an argument, which led to violence, which led to the unfortunate death.  Read more...

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The YOMYOMF Network: ‘Internet Icon’ Begins & The First Ever YouTube Video

  • April 25, 2012 1:22 pm

The Internet Icon finalists lining up to sign-in on the first day of the shoot.

It seems fitting that today is the first day of shooting on our upcoming YOMYOMF YouTube Network show Internet Icon because it was almost exactly seven years ago on April 23, 2005 that the first video was uploaded to YouTube—changing the world forever.

So who would’ve thought that just seven years and a couple of days after that auspicious beginning, we’d be launching a competition to find the next “Internet icon” with one of the biggest personalities on YouTube (and our YOMYOMF network partner)—Ryan Higa–acting as a judge alongside Family Guy’s Christine Lakin and a rotating list of guest judges including some of the top names on YouTube like KassemG and Jenna Marbles (with our own very handsome Chester See acting as host)?

But here we are and as I write this, the Internet Icon finalists from all over the country have filed into the downtown L.A. studio that will be home to our show for the next week-and-a-half and are signing in:  Read more...

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The Proper Way to Fart On, Rip Off & Eat a Face

  • April 24, 2012 12:01 am

These noodles somewhat resemble the noodles described in the following post.

So I stopped at the Koreatown Galleria Mall earlier this evening to grab a quick bite in the food court. As I was enjoying a bowl of hot noodles (see image above), a young boy—he must have been five or six—came up to me wielding a toy gun and pretended to shoot me. So I did the logical thing in such a situation—I pretended to die.

The boy found this to be highly amusing and then blurted out, “I’m going to rip off your face and eat your face and then fart on your face!”

His ensuing laughter made it clear that the boy found the notion of following through with what he said also highly amusing.

But I found his words to be disturbing. It’s one thing to pretend to shoot someone with a toy gun, but those words—even a boy that young should know better. I knew I had to set him straight.

“Look, kid, what you just said isn’t good,” I spoke in my most authoritative yet calming voice. “I want you to think carefully about your words and why they’re wrong—I’m going to rip off your face and eat your face and then fart on your face.”  Read more...

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Karaoke Etiquette or How to Avoid Musical Herpes

  • April 23, 2012 12:01 am

We take our karaoke very seriously at YOMYOMF. Or at least one of us certainly does:

That’s my fellow Offender Anderson and he’s definitely the King of Karaoke. Which reminds me of a famous Anderson karaoke story that’s achieved a level of infamy here at YOMYOMF central. Anderson often works long hours and sometimes he’ll just doze off as I learned last week when I was riding along in his car as he proceeded to take a brief nap at a stop light.

Anyway, as this story legend goes, after a particularly long day at the Hawaii International Film Festival (where Anderson is the head programmer), he was letting lose at karaoke as he is known to do. Waiting his turn with the mike in his hand, Anderson fell asleep. But as soon as his song began, Anderson suddenly sprang to life and sang his heart out. As soon as his song ended, Anderson immediately fell asleep, only to magically awaken when his next selection began. I’ve been told it was quite an amazing sight to behold.

But…this blog isn’t about Anderson, it’s about me. And a little thing called karaoke etiquette. As defined by me.  Read more...

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