Hey, While No One was Paying Attention North Korea Cured Every Deadly Disease Known to Man

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Maybe not every disease, but on Friday, North Korea announced that its scientists have created a drug that can prevent and cure AIDS, Ebola, MERS and SARS. The drug, known as Kumdang-2, was allegedly developed from ginseng grown with fertilizer that contained “rare-earth elements”.

Which reminds me, anyone remember the band Rare Earth? One of the few white bands signed by Motown Records. Anyone? Anyone? Come on, you remember this song:

Vincent Chin 33 Years Later

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I’ve been seeing posts today on social media commemorating the racially-motivated murder of Chinese American Vincent Chin by two Caucasian Detroit auto workers back in 1982. Chin actually passed away on June 23 but it was indeed on June 19, 1982 when the beating took place that would claim his life. And if the injustice that followed when the two accused men were cleared of their crime with only probation and a modest fine as punishment seemed to be a sad reflection of the times, we’ve been reminded in this past week that there’s still a lot of work to be done.

Whether it’s the tragic shooting in Charleston or the guy in New York attacking Asian women because of how they’ve rejected him, on the occasion of this anniversary, let’s not forget how much we still have to do:

What are the Republicans Smoking and Can I Get Some?

So I woke up this morning to find this in my inbox:

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I don’t know what the hell they’re smoking down at the Republican Party cabal, but really? On what planet am I going to see this email and click on the contribute button? It’s like the Republicans are this fancy seafood restaurant and I’m like the dude who’s allergic to shellfish and they keep sending me these flyers to come eat their food. To quote another Republican President as played by a comedian on SNL: “Not gonna do it.”

I mean—what are they going to throw at me next?

New ‘Hollywood Adventures” Trailer and Pics

On the heels of my fellow Offender Justin Lin and Chinese stars Zhao Wei and Huang Xiaoming getting their handprints in the courtyard of the TCL Chinese Theatre a week-and-a-half ago, there’s a new trailer out today for the film that the occasion was commemorating: Hollywood Adventures.

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This is Justin’s first foray into the Chinese film industry through his Perfect Storm shingle and as you can see below, this trailer gives a little more detail about what the movie is about and the best look so far at my fellow Offender Sung Kang playing Manny–the cornrowed villain of the piece:

One of my favorite souvenirs from the shoot was the Manny Dollars. How many people can say they’ve had their mug on money:

Don’t You Hate When You Fall Off the Back of a Taxi Scooter While Watching Porn on Your Phone and Your Penis Breaks?

That’s what happened to a Mr. Yu of Guangdong, China. He was riding in the back of a taxi scooter, behind the driver and another passenger. Mt. Yu decided to pass the time by watching porn on his phone when he fell off the scooter and broke his penis i.e. crushed the spongy penile tissue through his erect penis.

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So no matter how bad your weekend is going, think of Mr. Yu and his broken penis that will now bring him years of pain, deformation and ridicule and count your blessings. And remember the valuable life lesson here—if you’re going to watch porn on your phone while on the back of a scooter, make sure the throbbing piece of machinery your free hand is holding onto is attached to the vehicle.

Chinese Actress Zhao Wei Being Sued for Staring Too Intensely From TV?

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Regular readers of this blog know that many of the Offenders worked on the upcoming Chinese feature Hollywood Adventures, which was produced by our own Justin Lin through his Perfect Storm shingle. The film stars Chinese actress Zhao Wei who is one of Asia’s biggest stars (often referred to as the Chinese Julia Roberts), but amidst promotional duties for the movie this week, she made headlines for another reason: a Chinese man is trying to sue her for “spiritual damages” claiming she stared at him too intensely through his TV while he was watching her show Tiger Mom.

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The Shanghai Pudong new district court hasn’t decided whether it will hear the case, but it has raised new concerns over frivolous lawsuits in China in the wake of a new regulation that went into effect on May 1 making it easier to file frivolous lawsuits.

Hey Brave Guy in White in the Middle of the Viral Korean Wedding Photo

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This photo of a wedding in South Korea where all most of the guests are wearing surgical masks in light of fears over Middle Eastern Respiratory Syndrome (MERS) has gone viral (pun intended) as an example of how fears of the disease have grown rampant.

I think this picture could just as easily be some sort of wedding prank, but assuming it’s a real reflection of these people’s real fears about MERS, I have to give props to the dude in the middle in the snazzy white suit who has decided to say screw it to the mask. He truly is a prime example of the brave and resilient soul of my people—a courageous rebel who refuses to bow to paranoia and peer pressure.

Either that or he is a prime example of another aspect of the soul of my people: someone who really, really, really likes to drink soju and just doesn’t give a fuck!

She’s Got Legs!

You know that saying about women who have legs that go for miles? Meet 20-year-old Chinese model Dong Lei who probably comes as close to literally embodying that saying as anyone else:

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Lei is thought to have the longest legs measured on a model at 45 inches. Yup, her legs are almost four feet long making up almost 60 percent of her total body height (she’s 5 ft 4 in) and is 15 percent longer in terms of the average leg to torso ratio. That’s three inches longer than the previous model to hold the record—Germany’s Nadja Auermann.

Racist Prison Break?

Two murder convicts escaped from New York’s Clinton Correctional Facility on Friday night, but were conscientious enough to leave this note reminding everyone to “have a nice day”.

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Yes, that appears to be a racist caricature of a Chinese man accompanying the note. Before we delve into that mystery, here’s the background on the breaking story:

Even Godzilla is a Sell-Out

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Godzilla has been made an honorary citizen of Tokyo. Tokyo’s Shinjuku Ward is responsible for bestowing residency on our favorite giant lizard of destruction.

But does anyone else think this is bullshit and Godzilla’s a sell-out?

It was bad enough when he lent his name and likeness to plug some hotel, but now he’s going to be a resident of the city that he’s destroyed more times than any other? This is what he should be doing when he’s in Tokyo: