Have You Seen the Gay Thai Porn Version of ‘Jurassic World’?

Gay porn site GThai Movie released their porn parody of Jurassic World yesterday, cleverly titled Jurassic Porn.

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As you can see from the following screenshots, they’ve gone to extensive lengths to re-create the icon moments from this summer’s big blockbuster including the “Chris Pratt tames the raptors” scene:

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The “I’m being attacked by two super-realistic looking dinosaurs” scene:

The Novel About a Female Half-Chinese Gender-Bending Ghost Whisperer Fighting a Mythical Monster Set in the American Old West is Finally Here

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And that novel, released earlier this year, is Vermilion by Molly Tanzer. It’s true that the description of the book, which I feel I’ve captured fairly well in my headline above, should’ve been enough to pique my interest in reading Tanzer’s latest, but it was something the author said in an interview that really won me over. Tanzer said she set out to write a novel that took place “in the past of Big Trouble in Little China.”

For those not familiar with it, Big Trouble in Little China is the 1986 John Carpenter cult film starring Kurt Russell and Dennis Dun set in a mythical San Francisco Chinatown filled with magic, monsters and women with green eyes. It’s also a fun and subversive movie that takes a lot of the tropes of martial arts flicks and “Oriental” mysticism and turns them on their head. The idea that Tanzer was writing a story set in that same world—an unofficial prequel of sorts taking place some one hundred years before the events of Carpenter’s film–was intriguing.

Let’s Wish Our Japanese Friends A Happy Hand-Job Day!

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Yes, tomorrow is Hand-Job Day in Japan–at least according to Japanese sex toy company Tenga. Why is tomorrow Hand-Job Day, you may ask? Well, here’s a handy explanation:

Japanese company Tenga, which makes a line of masturbation toys by the same name, is dubbing July 21 as “Hand Job Day.” The reason is that “masturbation” in Japanese is “onanii” (オナニー), which is a pun on 07.21 (“o” for “zero”; “na” for “seven” or “nana” in Japanese; “ni” means “two” in Japanese; and here, they’re making a pun on the long vowel mark “ー” by saying it refers to “一” or “ichi,” which means “one.”) So, “Jerk Off Day” is probably more accurate.

To commemorate this special day, Tenga has even come up with their own superhero named Tengaman and made this short film to introduce him to the world:

All Musical Numbers Should Be As Awesome As This One From a 1980s Indian Film

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The good folks at Happy Place dug up the obscure gem you will feast your eyes and ears on below: a musical number from the 1985 Tollywood film Adavi Donga. Tollywood refers to a subset of Indian cinema originating in the states of Andhra Pradesh and Telangana.

I haven’t watched the film myself but the description sounds pretty damn awesome:

When her husband is attacked by the goons, Sharada hides baby Chiranjeevi in a bush and runs away to escape the goons. He was found by an elephant who raises him as his own child in the forest along with other animals. Sharada is shocked when she found out her baby is missing and her husband is wrongly convicted and send to jail much to her dismay.

If the Only Reason You Haven’t Gotten Married is Because You Were Waiting for an Alpaca to Witness Your Wedding, Here Ya Go…

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If you book your wedding ceremony at the Hotel Epinard Nasu in Japan’s Tochigi Prefecture is offering an alcapa to act as an official witness. Why an alcapa? No one knows, but hey, it’ll definitely make your wedding more unique and awesome.

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Why Japan is Awesome #881: Selling Sanitary Feminine Products by Having a Woman Wearing a Sanitary Product on Her Head and Challenging Other Sanitary Head-Wearing…Oh, Screw It, Just Watch!

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Look, I can try to explain why this Chinese language commercial for Sofy brand sanitary products is a big viral hit in Japan, but as a writer, I can find no way to describe this that will match the bizarre awesomeness that you will experience from just watching the damn thing:

Hanson is Nirvana

Apparently, whoever is responsible for this t-shirt being sold in a Bangkok store is a little confused about the identity of two popular 1990s bands:

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Unless I’m interpreting this wrong and the message is actually that Hanson is not Nirvana, but is nirvana aka (in Buddhism) a transcendent state in which there is neither suffering, desire, nor sense of self, and the subject is released from the effects of karma and the cycle of death and rebirth. It represents the final goal of Buddhism.

The Pizza/Fried Chicken Hybrid You Never Knew You Wanted is Here (If You Live in the Philippines)

Meet KFC’s Chizza—which is basically a pizza with a crust made out of fried chicken instead of bread:

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This new creation is only available at KFC locations in the Philippines and the reaction seems to be mostly positive, once again giving credence to my theory that Asia gets the best most interesting fast food. Here’s an ad for the Chizza:

How to Keep Cool in a Heatwave the Chinese Way

When things get hot in the Chinese city of Sichuan, people go the local saltwater pool in Daying County to cool off (aka the largest indoor water pool in China). And when it gets really hot like it did this weekend, you have some 8,000 people getting in at the same time to cool off.

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Who’s up for the ultimate pool party?

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So is Today ‘No Bra Day’ or Not?

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So according to the internet, today, July 9, is No Bra Day. But also according to the internet, No Bra Day is October 13. So which is it, internet?! Because it can’t be both! That’s like saying you have two birthdays in one year or two Christmases or two Arbor Days—that’s just crazy talk and will lead to anarchy and the breakdown of our social order.

And yet, according to the internet, both days are designated as our official bra-free days. Here’s why it’s important to uncover the truth: