Hump Day Special: Disposable Masturbation Toy

Once again it is hump day and our thoughts turn to love…or self-love as the case may be. And on days like this, how many times have we asked ourselves, “I wish I had a compact masturbation sleeve with lubrication that I can carry around in my pocket.”

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Well, Japanese sex toy manufacturer Tenga has you covered with its new “Pocket Tenga Wave Line.”

And it’s exactly as the description above promises. Use the sleeve to do the deed, put it back in the pouch and dispose of it in a sanitary way:

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Can We All Just Acknowledge the Existence of Comfort Women and Be Done with This Bullshit

And so it continues…

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Last year, I blogged about the new Comfort Women statue in Glendale, California and the ensuing “controversy” (read about it here). For those unfamiliar with this issue, comfort women were young girls from countries like Korea and the Philippines who were forcibly conscripted by the Japanese Imperial Army during WWII to be sex slaves (about 200,000-400,000 women depending on the account). There are some who have protested the statue claiming that comfort women did not technically exist—and if they did that they were no more than prostitutes acting of their own free will. This includes folks who left comments on my original blog like this:

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Happy Black Day!

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Once again, April 14 aka Black Day is upon us. For those not in the know, Black Day is an unofficial Korean holiday when single people eat jajangmyeon (black paste) noodles to either “celebrate” one’s singleness/unattached status or ease the pain of one’s singleness/unattached status.

In an effort to put more positivity out into the world, I will choose to interpret the holiday as one of “celebration” and not so much this:

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In fact, take a look at this delicious-looking bowl of jajangmyeon:

India’s Having a Poo Party

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“First thing in the morning, what do I see, a pile of shit staring at me.”

The UN has found a creative way to address India’s “poo” problem. According to the latest stats, 620 million Indians defecate in public every day—that’s half the population shitting out 65 million kilos daily. So what to do to address this?

Make an animated music video featuring piles of shit performing Bollywood-syle dances, of course. This is India after all:

Yes, Stephen Colbert is Replacing David Letterman but Stop with the #CancelColbert Quips

NAMEThe announcement came this morning that The Colbert Report host has been named as the replacement for David Letterman when he retires from The Late Show next year. And already, I’ve been seeing dozens hundreds thousands millions of posts on social media like this:

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And this:

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And this:

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Japan’s Penis Festival is Back

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Every spring in the Japanese city of Kawasaki, folks gather from all around to celebrate Kanamara Matsuri aka “The Festival of the Steel Phallus” aka the Penis Festival (read my previous post on this event here).

This year’s event took place this past April 6 and the good folks at the Huffington Post shared some pics from the festivities, which you can check out below.

So enjoy this public ode to all things “penal” on this very happy Hump Day!

Heterosexual Women: Here’s What You Should Do if You Encounter a Lesbian (1988 style)

If you’re a straight woman and you don’t know the correct protocol regarding how you should behave when first encountering a lesbian, New York magazine’s Jody Rosen has dug up this list from a women’s studies class circa 1988 to guide you:

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Clearly it provides many practical and helpful bits of advice including:

Do not run from the room. This is rude.

And

Do not assume she hates men. On the other hand, recognize that she may not want to attend an event where there will be men.

But I particularly like the experiment this professor suggests her students perform:

Pretend to be a lesbian for 24 hours. What kind of things do you notice about how different this feels?

The ‘Goonies’ are Good Enough but Not for a Sequel

The Goonies director Richard Donner recently told TMZ that work was underway on a sequel to the 1985 adventure classic and that “hopefully” the original cast would all be back.

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Now, I love this movie. One of the reasons for this was Jonathan Ke Quan’s Data. Yes, having the Asian kid be the one who’s good with gadgets could be construed as a stereotype, but damnit, if he wasn’t the coolest kid with the coolest gadgets! Between this and his role as Indiana Jones’ kid sidekick in the Temple of Doom, I was convinced at the time that he had to be the luckiest Asian kid in the world.

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But with that said, I think the idea of a sequel is a bad one. For the same reason the long-talked of Ghostbusters 3 is a bad idea—its time has passed.

Original Offenders: Nobu McCarthy

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Nobu McCarthy passed away on this day in 2002 at the age of 67 of an aortal aneurysm. She was a Japanese American actress whose career was launched in 1958 when she played opposite Jerry Lewis in The Geisha Boy. She went on to appear in film and TV projects like the western Walk Like A Dragon (alongside another pioneer, James Shigeta), the acclaimed TV movie Farewell to Manzanar (Hollywood’s first attempt to document the internment of Japanese Americans in WWII) and the adaptation of Philip Kan Gotanda’s The Wash, which earned her an Independent Spirit Award Nomination in 1989.

But of course the movie that I, and many of my generation, will always remember her for is The Karate Kid II where she played Pat Morita’s old flame.

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I had the good fortune of meeting Nobu a few years before her death when I was invited to join a fundraising committee for East West Players, the oldest Asian American theater company, by one of the theater’s founders, Beulah Quo, and actor George Takei. Beulah (who sadly passed away shortly after Nobu) and George were the chairs of the committee, which was tasked with raising money for East West Player’s move from their 99-seat Silver Lake location to their much larger facility in Little Tokyo that serves as their home today.

I Like Big Hamster Butts and I Cannot Lie…

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If you like big butts and hamsters, this facebook page is for you. Yes, you can enjoy the many lovely pics of various hamster ass or upload your own.

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It’s all to mark the publication of a new Japanese book entitled Hamuketsu (aka “Hamster Butts”). So yes, there is also a book devoted to hamster ass.

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Reason #886 Why White People Don’t Need to Worry about Affirmative Action: Teen who Sued Parents gets $56k Scholarship

WAH_WAHYou may remember 18-year-old Rachel Canning. Last month, she sued her parents to make them pay her for “child support and college tuition”. A judge denied her claim for immediate assistance, she moved back in with her folks and dropped the lawsuit. And that should have been the end of another story of a teen with entitlement issues bitch slapped back to reality by karma.

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But, alas, karma obviously works in fucked-up mysterious ways because Canning has announced that she has received a $56,000 scholarship to attend Western New England University. That amount will most likely cover all her expenses for her first year.

So what lesson should we take away from this story?

I Want to Go to There: The Kit Kat Pizza

Last week, I wrote about my first taste of the red hot chili pepper Kit Kat which is only available in Japan and yes, it was as wonderful as its name makes it out to be (and I mean that unironically).

Now, comes the news that Japanese pizza and café chains will be serving…a Kit Kat Pizza!

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What the what?!!!