About Jerome


AROUND THE HORN: Untimely Party Guest

With each day, I try to spot the things in my life that I can do more efficiently to optimize my time. Maybe it’s how I hold my keys as I walk out the door so that it takes less time to lock it. Maybe it’s preparing my protein shake the night before so that I won’t hurry into my CrossFit class without it.

Only last week did I happen to find the latest way I could make my life easier: shoehorns!

Wow, I must have seen those things a billion times before, on the ground at a Nordstrom somewhere, without a single idea what they did. It took some fortuitous poking around my parents’ garage and some measure of curiosity before my pops cleared that weird piece of plastic’s purpose.


If you don’t know, you slip these ‘shoehorns’ into the back of your shoe and it makes the arduous, first-world problem of actually putting on your shoe into something a little less first-world daunting.

AROUND THE HORN: That Old Moment

Okay, yes – I’m being overly dramatic.  “We’re all young at heart” and all that, but I very recently had a moment when I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I had crossed that nebulous threshold.

I’m not sure about all y’all, but the quickest way to grasp your own mortality is being around kids all the time.  Working with high school students, I often get a stark reminder from all the fresh faces I see.  Occasionally, the conversations bring this home even more.

This week, a student told me that the person at the front desk suggested that he watch a movie.  The foreignness he expressed upon saying the title RUSH HOUR was innocuous at first.  However, I quickly realized that this one movie that seemed like such a given for ‘my world’ was something that seemed so distant to him.


Before long, I thought, non-smartphones will probably be my generation’s rotary phones.

Anyone else have a striking first case of a younger generational gap?

DHH: Well, I’m at least a good 10-15 years older than the rest of you Offenders, so I went through the shock Jerome’s experiencing some time ago. Try not to react by buying a midlife-crisis car and prowling college campuses for 20 year-old dates. From my point of view, what’s surprising as you get even older is how the gap with the younger generation actually narrows! For instance, when I was around 40, I might’ve been traumatized by a 25 year-old — let’s call him, I dunno, “Phil” — for whom the music of my youth had become “classic rock.” Fast-forward to today: I’m in my late-50’s. Phil is in his mid-40’s, and his music too has become “Dad rock” (yes, Pearl Jam and NWA are now Dad rock). So these days, I look at Phil and think, “Aaah, we’re basically the same age” (though Phil might strongly disagree). So, um, I dunno, Jerome, does that help? Or make you feel even worse?

AROUND THE HORN: Sunk Costs and Prices We Pay.

As I was in an introspective mood recently, a brutally honest assessment of my life so far guided me through a handful of situations where the Sunk Cost Fallacy threw a wrench into the clockwork of my life.

I distinctly remember dating someone that, once we passed a certain amount of time together, I found very hard to tear myself away from. It wasn’t healthy; neither of us was happy; but we both stuck it out until it exploded into a magnificent set of flames.

At least we didn’t get married.


What situations have you been in where the Fallacy has come into play? Are you in one right now?

PHILIP: I should start off by saying that I don’t necessarily subscribe to this idea that you invest so much into something that ends up being “negative.” I think even in the example of your relationship, as bad as that experience might have been, I’d like to think it led you to re-assess certain things about yourself and what you learn from that experience is just as valuable than if the relationship had turned out more positively.

AROUND THE HORN: Juicy Fruit at the End of the World

I wanted to keep it light this week, so my question is: when the world ends, what’s the one tangible thing you hope will still be around?

Of course, it would be great if stuff like compassion for your fellow man and a working sense of humor still existed, but we all know those aren’t the important things. What we all want to know is where will we find the stockpiles of Shin Black microwaveable ramen; blue Monster; or – my personal favorite – Juicy Fruit?


Since I’ve already plugged Juicy Fruit three times now, I’ll share my only other obsession: Pringles. Yes, Sour Cream & Onions is a great flavor, but I’m thinking those containers could probably be fashioned as some sort of improvised weapon.

Around The Horn: Neighborly Tendencies

What did I wake up to this morning? Was it the sunlight breaking through the cracks of my blinds? Or was it the serene sound of recorded birds from my alarm clock? The answer is neither.

I woke up to the sound of a small child banging on a makeshift drum kit composed of pots and pans. Yes, I was torn from my sweet, sweet slumber by what I hope to be a future famous drummer who will look back and donate a portion of his earnings to the neighbor he constantly kept awake.


Hey, I’m probably making a mountain out of a molehill here, but I’d like to get some confirmation: what’s some of your worst experiences with neighbors?

IRIS: I wrote a previous blog about “Mr. Cranky” who called the police on us about our barking dog and we don’t even have a dog. He’s known as “Hitler” around the neighborhood.

AROUND THE HORN: Set Phases to Temporary!

Sifting through the basement the other day, I had the pleasure of making the acquaintance of an old friend: me at age eleven. Drawings. Short stories. Collected little trinkets that together shaped a young boy, a young boy that once was me. Oddly, he seemed unrecognizable, fixated on topics or themes I’m no longer interested in. I could trace a path from that person to the one sitting here typing this now, but there felt like no direct connection. clones He was very much into science – obsessed with the notion of cloning. Special powers. Magick. It was, by and large, a phase. It was not the only phase in my life, but most certainly, this was one of them. These days, I tend to be more interested in things that are slightly more grounded.

AROUND THE HORN: How dark is ‘dark’?

I recently binged on HBO’s TRUE DETECTIVE after weeks of water cooler talk and still managing to avoid any spoilers. Looking back at reactions I’d read way before starting the show, I saw many people claiming that TD was much ‘darker’ than other shows/movies they were used to seeing.


Having now seen it all, I can confidently say I didn’t once get that feeling. Was it lines like “I think human consciousness is a tragic misstep in evolution” evoking these reactions? Because that’s not that bad and the murder scenes in NBC’s HANNIBAL are much more graphic. On the darker side of things, sure – but was it really that far off on that end of the spectrum? Nah.

By your standards, what’s a ‘dark’ movie/show/book? And why?

AROUND THE HORN: Fork that food (or not)!

By the time you read this, I may or may not have stuffed myself with a bunch of food I otherwise wouldn’t have to celebrate good ol’ Thanksgiving. But if I have, I can guarantee you one thing: not one of those plates will be turkey.

I’m sorry – call me a heathen if you must – but turkey is just one food I cannot get into. When I was a kid, the turkey iconography surrounding Thanksgiving made me look forward to tasting it each year and each year, I kept wondering if it would get better. It never did; it still hasn’t; and I doubt it ever will.

I’m not allergic and I’ve had it in many ways. I’ve just resigned myself to the fact that chickens are the superior birds when it comes to flying into my stomach.

What’s one food that you just can’t find yourself sinking your teeth into?

ROGER: I’m in the same boat, Jerome. Every year Thanksgiving rolls around, I find myself wondering why turkey just isn’t as satisfying as chicken or duck. That being said, I LOVE processed turkey that you get at Subway or Jersey Mike’s. Why? Perhaps b/c it doesn’t taste like Thanksgiving turkey.

The YOMYOMF Network: Recap for Week of November 3

HIFF New Media Camp/Creative Lab (Trailer)

Check out this trailer for a new initiative looking to guide and encourage new filmmakers in exploring new approaches to entertainment!

Shareef and Victor Adventures (HIFF New Media Camp)

No force in the world can come between two friends… except for love.

Watch Shareef and Victor struggle to maintain their bromance when a girl enters the picture.

The YOMYOMF Network: Recap for Week of October 27

Gary and Jimmy vs the Kitchen Sink – Part 2 

Gary’s first try at conquering the infamous KITCHEN SINK CHALLENGE - a titanic amount of ice cream meant to be finished in 30 minutes – was a failure.  This time, he returns with his friend Jimmy to bring it down once and for all.

Will this team leave the battleground with the bitter taste of defeat or the sweet taste of victory (both of which taste a lot like ice cream)?