We Take Your Jobs

  • February 6, 2012 2:07 pm

A while back, we had some interesting blogs here and here about taking on roles that perpetuate stereotypes.  Normally, I would take the actor’s side on this—they’re just struggling for gigs in this town.

But I have to say that I’m going to eat my words now, because I am completely outraged that an attractive, young, Asian-American actress would sellout to being the face for a completely racist, anti-Asian campaign for politician Peter Hoekstra.

Here’s the ad that ran during the Super Bowl:

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Whoever this actress is, in this day and age, has sold out big time.

Of course, the real culprit in all of this is Peter Hoekstra, who continues to refuse to apologize for this ridiculous ad.

Around the Horn: Will Internet Commenters End the World?

  • January 9, 2012 4:40 pm

Justin Halpern, who started a twitter feed, a book and a now defunct TV show called “Shit My Dad Says,” posted a great conversation with his dad about why Internet Commenters will eventually end the world. I won’t post the entire article, which you can read on Funny or Die , but here are excerpts:

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“Hey, Dad,” I said, answering the phone.

“I just read on the internet that you’re a talentless piece of shit,” he said.

“What?”

. . . .

”Doesn’t it bother you that people can go on the internet and call you a talentless piece of shit, and never have to say it to your face?,” he continued.

Dictator Fashion Revisited

  • December 20, 2011 3:51 pm

Last year, I had blogged about dictator fashion after it was declared in the Rodong Sinmun Communist Party newspaper that Kim Jong Il’s suits had become a “global fashion phenomenon.“

Unfortunately 2011 was a bad year for all those following the autocrat runway.  We lost two out of three of our despot trendsetters.  And even Fidel Castro has stepped out of the limelight into retirement.

Kim Jong Il’s successor, Kim Jong Un, clearly is not ready to take over the legacy of fashion icon that his father left behind.  The navy blue drubs that Kim Jong Un has chosen to sport simply blend in with his fellow statesmen.

Fungus of Terror

  • December 14, 2011 11:57 am

“Matango” is a Japanese classic movie from 1963 which might be considered either one of the pioneer J-Horror movies or a really good stoner movie.

It begins with a shipwreck on a deserted island.  I can almost hear the theme song from “Gilligan’s Island” as a yacht with a small group of sightseers gets tossed in a storm.  The skipper, his first mate, the rich couple, the girl next door and the professor are all on board.
As they forage for food, the wise skipper tells them to stay away from the ‘shrooms.  They could be poisonous.  There is dissension and mistrust among the castaways and of course, it’s only a matter of time before they start eating the fungi, with eerie consequences.

A friend of mine had a copy of this classic with dubbed dialogue and we watched it in the wee hours of the night.  Despite my initial skepticism and the laughability of the dubbed dialogue, the movie has somehow continued to haunt me every time I look at a mushroom.

Life’s a Pitch – Part II

  • November 23, 2011 11:37 am

In Part I, I described the prep work my producer and I went through for a pitch we were taking around town for an adaptation of a Young Adult novel.  Now it was time to go off on “the dog and pony show,” as my agent once affectionately described it.

It’s always best to arrive earlier than later, so for our first pitch, the producer and I decide to meet 20 minutes early.  We go over last minute notes, how we’re going to intro, etc. We finally get called in 15 minutes after our scheduled appointment.

Life’s a Pitch – Part I

  • November 14, 2011 4:06 pm

If there’s one thing I hate about being a screenwriter—it’s the pitch.

Doesn’t anyone realize how unnatural it is for writers to be delivering pitches?  Hello?  If we were “good in a room” we wouldn’t become reclusive writers who like to spend hours on end alone with a computer in the first place.  There have been many times when I wanted to shout “Damn it, Jim!  I’m a writer, not an actor!”
But whether I like it or not, pitches are part of the job and for those of you who are aspiring writers, here’s a rundown of the process of a recent round of pitches.

Bollywood Believer

  • October 6, 2011 1:00 pm

I have recently become a fan of Bollywood.  I hadn’t really sought these movies out before.  But now I’ve become a convert.

Sure, these movies tend to be 3 hours longs and it is not possible to have one without breaking out into a dance/musical number, even in the most serious of historical dramas. But there’s a certain joy and innocence about them that harkens back to the old days of Hollywood film-making.  I’ve actually learned to look forward to the dance and musical numbers, which are always boldly colorful and fun.

India actually produces more films than any other country in the world, so there’s bound to be something for everyone.

Turning Tragedy into Comedy (with Oded Gross) PART II:

  • September 17, 2011 11:34 am

Previously, I blogged about talented performers, Oded Gross and Regan Forman. The pair wrote and starred in one of the funniest stage performances you’ve never heard of called The Comedy of Oedipus Rex.

I decided to contact Oded and he was kind enough to actually answer my questions rather than dismiss me as a crazy stalker (which is what I would have done). This is my interview with Oded:

ME: Did anything happen after the HBO Workspace?

ODED: The HBO Workspace was a place to develop shows which would hopefully catch the eye of some of the big shots at HBO and then they would throw money at the show’s performers to do said show on their Network.  Sadly, that never happened for us.  Nobody has ever thrown money at me.

Turning Tragedy into Comedy (with Oded Gross) PART I:

  • September 14, 2011 3:23 pm

Hollywood, I have discovered, is full of un-hailed talent—people who have the right chops, the right looks and the right attitudes and yet, haven’t quite gotten the attention they deserve.

For instance, about 10 years ago, I chanced upon a two-person show in a small theater in Santa Monica called the Powerhouse Theater.  It was a musical comedy called “The Comedy of Oedipus Rex”.  I know you’re thinking “What?  A musical comedy about Oedipus Rex?”

I wasn’t sure what to expect either, but it turned out to be one of the funniest plays I had ever seen!  By the end of it, I was in tears of laughter as Oded Gross and his wife Regan Forman acted out multiple parts, sang and danced to tunes like Give Your Mama Some Lovin’.

Supreme Tofu

  • August 12, 2011 12:30 am

Yes, you read right, that’s “supreme” tofu.  Not “regular”, “medium”, “average”, or “mediocre”, but “supreme” tofu.  As in, this tofu is way betta than your grocery-store variety.

On my Hawaii blog, I had mentioned how it’s a rarity to find good, hand-made tofu.  So I was on a quest to find the mother of all tofu in Southern California and I believe I’ve found it in a shop called Meiji Tofu in Gardena.

Is there an Asian Gambling Gene?

  • July 22, 2011 4:05 pm

“Want me to teach you how to play Pai Gow?”  Helen’s eyes light up like a firecracker in July, while I stare skeptically at the deck of cards that she shuffles with a practiced hand.

Helen, while still in her twenties, used to be one of those high rollers who got rooms comped in Vegas and the expensive liquor brought to her table.  She claimed that for several years, she was a professional gambler with no need for a 9-5 job because she could live off of her winnings in Vegas.  That was all, of course, before she lost over $30,000 in one weekend.

Hawaiian Food Odyssey (or How I gained 3 Pounds in 1 Week)

  • June 15, 2011 1:07 pm

I flew over to Oahu last week to teach a weekend workshop at the University of Hawaii, Manoa.  I took some extra time over there to turn the trip into a vacation and to visit my cousin on the Big Island.  Somehow, the trip ended up as an eating orgy and with myself packing in an extra 3 pounds on the way back.

First stop, of course, was Leonard’s Bakery for malasadas—the big, fluffy Portuguese holeless doughnuts are a must on every visit to Oahu.  As usual, the line was out the door here, but definitely worth the wait.

An Open Letter to Justin Lin

  • April 29, 2011 1:21 pm

Dear Justin,

Let me start off by saying that I was able to attend the N.A. premiere of “Fast Five” last night and it was an awesome, action-packed, all-out crazy, fun ride of a movie and you deserve all the success and kudos you get.

But I think that we need to start sending out a more conscientious message to movie-going kids today.  So here’s my suggestion for “Fast 6”.  How about electric car racing?  After all, we really need to save the environment and stop our dependence on Middle East oil.

Look Up!

  • April 5, 2011 12:24 am

It’s been almost a month since the devastating earthquake/tsunami hit Japan, and as we all know, the country continues to struggle with its ongoing nuclear crisis.

I have a number of friends and family residing in Japan, but thankfully, all of them returned my emails and phone calls letting me know they were safe. One of my uncles who is in his ‘60s told me about his harrowing 10-hour walk home from Shibuya to Saitama. Another uncle told me he thought he was surely going to die when his roof fell in.  But most importantly, they were all right.

Depachika

  • January 26, 2011 12:31 am

Whenever I go to Japan and visit the mega department stores like Takashimaya, Mitsukoshi, Isetan or Seibu, I love to window shop and look at all the pretty things they have there.  But I rarely buy anything, because just one look at the price tag and I go into sticker shock.  For someone whose favorite store is Target, the $100 t-shirts just don’t seem that appealing.

But the one section where I will go crazy at, is the basement food hall. Locals call them “depachikas”.  “Depa” is short for department store and “chika” means basement.

When I enter the seemingly endless corridors of the depachika, I feel like I’ve died and gone to food heaven. Individual stalls hawking pickles, cakes, confectionaries, fried foods, sushi, bentos, yakitori, fruit, meat and liquor can all be found here–probably overpriced and probably overpackaged, but guaranteed tasty.   In fact, if I had to be holed up anywhere due to zombies or end-of-the-world disasters, I can’t think of a better place you’d want to be.  (Sorry, I just finished watching “The Road,” so I needed to revisit my “end of the world” strategies.)

Aflockalypse and Slinky Ships

  • January 12, 2011 12:33 am

By now, you’ve probably heard about the “Aflockalypse”.  It started with thousands of blackbirds falling from the sky and 100,000 drum fish washing up in Arkansas around New Year’s Day.  This quickly became a global phenomenon with reports of 2 million dead fish in Chesapeake Bay, 150 tons of red tilapia in Vietnam, 40,000 crabs in Britain, 1,000 turtle doves in Italy, 100 tons of sardines and catfish in Brazil and the list goes on.  There’s even a google map which is keeping track of all the recent mass animal deaths.

Experts say this is nothing unusual.  Turns out this is pretty common. The causes are usually attributed to disease or cold weather, or in the case of Arkansas, fireworks trauma.

To feed the fuel for conspiracy theorists, however, I find it odd that most of the reports and pictures show mass deaths of only one particular species.  If it’s really cold weather, as most of the recent deaths have been attributed to, how come not all the sea life in a particular region are dying?  Most of the reports and pictures show just one type of crab or just one type of fish or one type of bird.  Why is that?  And fireworks go off all across the U.S. every New Year’s and July 4th, so shouldn’t we all know about the falling bird phenomenon by now?  Shouldn’t we be used to seeing all kinds of birds falling en masse around those times across the country?  How come only now it makes the news? 

Surviving the Holidays (Literally)

  • December 29, 2010 12:24 am

My thoughts turned morbid over the weekend as I contemplated death.  No, not mine in particular, but just in general. I was guessing that more people die around the holidays than other days, and it turns out I was correct.  Researchers have found that Americans are more likely to die on Christmas Day, the day after Christmas, and on New Year’s Day than at any other time of the year.  But before you read the rest of this blog, take a stab at why you think that is.  The reason makes total sense, but it may not be what you first guessed.

Korean-Mexicans! (Or What I Learned On My Vacation)

  • December 15, 2010 12:30 am

After an hour’s drive south of Merida, navigating on questionable dirt roads filled with topes (monstrous Mexican speed bumps), and swerving to avoid lethargic dogs sprawled out in the middle of the lane, we finally arrived at the town of Peon.  It was a seemingly abandoned town that reminded me of an early Robert Rodriguez movie location, only 10 times smaller and dirtier.  It certainly didn’t look like the advertised tourist trap of a working hacienda which promised welcome drinks and a fun-filled, mule-driven cart ride.

However, once we passed through the arched gates that separated Hacienda Sotuta de Peon from the rest of the town, we found ourselves in a large and splendorous estate with a volcanic-like fountain sprouting out of the middle of a lush garden.  The buildings had been carefully restored to their original grandeur.  Workers dressed in white and wearing panama hats were there to recreate a sisal-making plantation as it had existed in the 1800’s.  Beyond the main house lay fields of prickly, cactus-like henequen plants that stretched for acres.

What’s the Story Behind the Naked German Guy?

  • December 1, 2010 12:30 am

Some of the fine moments that have been caught in perpetuity on Google Street View in the past include flashing, urinating, stealing and even drug-dealing.  This has raised all sorts of invasion of privacy issues.

The photo above, however, is one of the most perplexing.  It appears to be a naked man climbing into or out of the trunk of a car.  Next to the car is an eerily cropped image of a sleeping/dead? dog and a bottle filled with some kind of fluid. The image was found after a recent launch of Google Street View in several German cities and it has since gone viral.  There has been no explanation so far as to what was really going on and Google has blurred out the image of the naked man.

Things to be Grateful For

  • November 24, 2010 1:05 am

On Thanksgiving, many of us will be hard pressed to find things to be thankful for, what with the lackluster economy and having to suffer full body scans at the airport.

As a writer, however, I have had the privilege of researching many stories over the years which have made me realize how fortunate I am to be living in the here and now, rather than in the over there or back then.  It just takes a moment to contemplate over the things that have been banned in the past or are currently banned in other countries to know what to be thankful for.  Here are my top 10:

1) Art

Creating art that did not conform to the ideals of Social Realism was banned in the Soviet Republic during Stalin’s rule.  Besides political and religious art, the ban included abstract art, expressionism and anything depicting nude bodies.  Avant garde artists who did not adapt to the policies were often either murdered or sent to the gulag.  Even after Stalin died in 1953, nonconformist art was illegal until the mid ‘70s. 

I am grateful that although I am not an artist and cannot distinguish between an authentic Pollock and a kid’s spaghetti painting, I can at least admire both without fear.