YOMYOMF’s Summer Blockbuster Showdown — GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY!

Print

GUARDIANSSelect Offenders will be reviewing this summer’s crop of Hollywood tentpole films with a scientifically tested set of criteria that was vetted, nurtured, dissected and regurgitated through the pop-culture gadflies who have nothing better to do than annoy other productive people in the YOMYOMF office. So, we channeled their nitpicks of the incessant reboots, remakes and rehashes that are part and parcel with Hollywood summer movies into this ongoing summer blog series called the SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER SHOWDOWN. You can read previous roundtable reviews, which are all archived here

In this final edition of our summer-long SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER SHOWDOWN, we review the latest contribution to the Marvel Cinematic Universe, GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY. BTW, this roundtable review is chock full of spoilers. You’ve been warned!

YOMYOMF’s Summer Blockbuster Showdown — LUCY!

YOMYOMF's Summer Blockbuster Showdown Part 7-01

Select Offenders will be reviewing this summer’s crop of Hollywood tentpole films with a scientifically tested set of criteria that was vetted, nurtured, dissected and regurgitated through the pop-culture gadflies who have nothing better to do than annoy other productive people in the YOMYOMF office. So, we channeled their nitpicks of the incessant reboots, remakes and rehashes that are part and parcel with Hollywood summer movies into this ongoing summer blog series called the SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER SHOWDOWN. You can read previous roundtable reviews, which are all archived here

In this edition, we review Luc Besson’s latest female-driven actioner LUCY. BTW, this roundtable review is chock full of spoilers. You’ve been warned! 

SAF Seeking… Her Groove and a Way to Get it Back

guest_offenderANNIKA

Annika is a 28 year old Cambodian Vietnamese Chinese French American who recently returned to school to finish a bachelor’s degree in computer science and linguistics. Her hobbies and interests include swimming, cooking, baking, writing, reading, math, symbolic logic, learning foreign languages, and drinking espresso – and of course, boys.

Oh yes, I am eye fucking you right now.

Oh yes, I am eye fucking you right now.

Indeed, we were exchanging glances of a certain intensity and an aloof furtiveness that required a cigarette break after. “Eye-fucking” as they call it.

My friend, “Tiger,” invited me out to the Avalon, a Hollywood techno club, as it was her boyfriend’s birthday and he purchased tickets to see some relatively unknown DJs spinning that night. I agreed to come along as I didn’t have anything else going on that night for once and that it would be a good opportunity to force myself to be social outside of work. In addition, the Avalon had been renovated since I was last there (and I was quite a regular, pre-renovation), so I figured I’d check it out, have a few drinks, dance a little, then take a Lyft back home to Culver City around 3 AM as I had to work at 10 AM the next day.

My Comic-Con 2014 Haul!

LIZguest_offender

Liz Ho is an actor by day, Trek lover by night. Originally from a very yuppy suburb near San Francisco, Elizabeth now calls Los Angeles home. She loves Hello Kitty, pandas and food. You can get a glimpse into her thinking at her blog “The Positive Experiment”. You can also watch her on TV recurring guest star Rhonda Cheng on ABC Family’s newest show “Melissa & Joey”. Liz also appears in the INTERPRETATIONS commissioned short “Good Shot”by Offender David. This summer, she’s been a contributor to YOMYOMF’s Summer Blockbuster Showdown

Here is Liz’s Comic-con wrap up report of all the swag, as well as collector items she got this past weekend in San Diego, in the form of her first vlog!

7 Cosplay Moments From Comic-Con 2014, or Why Ninja Psylocke Has To Die

guest_offender

DOMINIC

Dominic Mah is a writer, director, erratic blogger at dommah.com, and rock musical enthusiast. He recently co-wrote a feature film about superheroes and sidekicks. He is working on a startup comic book. He is often found in karaoke bars being @dommah and@thorhulkcritic.

Cosplayer Elisa Santullo as Black Widow

Cosplayer Elisa Santullo as Black Widow. You can follow her on Facebook.

Cosplay (a Japanese term deriving from the English, “costume play”) is a subculture that takes many forms, but let’s say it is essentially about people dressing up as their favorite characters from pop culture. At Comic-Con, one of the great world centers of cosplay, the subculture mutates…or rather, transforms….or anyway, it cosplays itself into all sorts of configurations, including:

  • fans dressed up as superheroes, anime characters, robots, etc.
  • models/promoters dressed up as sexy superheroes, sexy robots, etc.
  • club rats dressed up as nerds so they can infiltrate Comic-Con
  • weirdos dressed up as non-weirdos so they can be around Comic-Con
  • people dressed up as superheroes so they can sell something
  • people like me who just own a lot of shirts with robots on them

Cosplay, like music, has its good and bad moments. Here are 7 of the significant cosplays from ComicCon 2014.

SAF seeking… A French Connection Part 2

guest_offendersANNIKA

Annika is a 28 year old Cambodian Vietnamese Chinese French American who recently returned to school to finish a bachelor’s degree in computer science and linguistics. Her hobbies and interests include swimming, cooking, baking, writing, reading, math, symbolic logic, learning foreign languages, and drinking espresso – and of course, boys.

(Read Part 1 here)

Oh those Frenchies!

Oh those Frenchies!

Sweat beads roll down his forehead and into my left eye as he’s thrusting.

Goddamnit. Ow. My make-up!

I’m half-squinting like a pirate who forgot his eye patch.

I make a swift shift of my head to the left to avoid anymore of his sweat getting into my eyes. His head follows suit and as he leans down to kiss me, MORE sweat gets into my eyes.

For fuck’s sake!

YOMYOMF’s Summer Blockbuster Showdown — SNOWPIERCER!

YOMYOMF's Summer Blockbuster Showdown Part 6-01

Select Offenders will be reviewing this summer’s crop of Hollywood tentpole films with a scientifically tested set of criteria that was vetted, nurtured, dissected and regurgitated through the pop-culture gadflies who have nothing better to do than annoy other productive people in the YOMYOMF office. So, we channeled their nitpicks of the incessant reboots, remakes and rehashes that are part and parcel with Hollywood summer movies into this ongoing summer blog series called the SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER SHOWDOWN. You can read previous roundtable reviews, which are all archived here

In this edition, we review Korean helmer BONG Joonho’s SNOWPIERCER (currently out in theatres and on VOD now). BTW, this roundtable review is chock full of spoilers. You’ve been warned! 

YOMYOMF’s Summer Blockbuster Showdown — DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES!

APEYOMYOMF's Summer Blockbuster Showdown Part 5-01

Select Offenders will be reviewing this summer’s crop of Hollywood tentpole films with a scientifically tested set of criteria that was vetted, nurtured, dissected and regurgitated through the pop-culture gadflies who have nothing better to do than annoy other productive people in the YOMYOMF office. So, we channeled their nitpicks of the incessant reboots, remakes and rehashes that are part and parcel with Hollywood summer movies into this ongoing summer blog series called the SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER SHOWDOWN. You can read previous roundtable reviews, which are all archived here

In this edition, we review DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES! BTW, this roundtable review is chock full of spoilers. You’ve been warned!  

YOMYOMF’s Summer Blockbuster Showdown — MALEFICENT!

maleficent

Select Offenders will be reviewing this summer’s crop of Hollywood tentpole films with a scientifically tested set of criteria that was vetted, nurtured, dissected and regurgitated through the pop-culture gadflies who have nothing better to do than annoy other productive people in the YOMYOMF office. So, we channeled their nitpicks of the incessant reboots, remakes and rehashes that are part and parcel with Hollywood summer movies into this ongoing summer blog series called the SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER SHOWDOWN. You can read previous roundtable reviews, which are all archived here

In this edition, we nitpick on Disney’s MALEFICENT starring Angelina Jolie. BTW, this roundtable review is chock full of spoilers. You’ve been warned!

YOMYOMF’s Summer Blockbuster Showdown — TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION!

YOMYOMF's Summer Blockbuster Showdown Part 3-01

Select Offenders will be reviewing this summer’s crop of Hollywood tentpole films with a scientifically tested set of criteria that was vetted, nurtured, dissected and regurgitated through the pop-culture gadflies who have nothing better to do than annoy other productive people in the YOMYOMF office. So, we channeled their nitpicks of the incessant reboots, remakes and rehashes that are part and parcel with Hollywood summer movies into this ongoing summer blog series called the SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER SHOWDOWN. You can read previous roundtable reviews, which are all archived here

In this edition, we tackle Michael Mr. Stage Fright Bay’s latest masturbatory opus, TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION! BTW, this roundtable review is chock full of spoilers. You’ve been warned! 

SAF seeking… A French Connection part 1

guest_offendersANNIKA

Annika is a 20-something year old newly single divorcee who recently returned to school to complete a bachelor’s degree in computational linguistics. She spends her time baking, cooking, swimming, hanging at pubs, trying different foods and restaurants, and inappropriately staring at the asses of unassuming men. She currently lives in Los Angeles.

Hey, do guys really notice if you haven't shaved your legs?!

Hey, do guys really notice if you haven’t shaved your legs?!

“Oh my god, I forgot to shave my legs. I hope he didn’t notice. He won’t, right? I’m Asian, I’m practically hairless!”

I’m sprinting to my car from the office in a neighborhood adjacent to Beverly Hills. He lives not far away from where I work and we actually have another hour before our agreed upon meeting time but he did extract from me a promise that I would get there sooner if I could, so there was no point in going back to my home to shave my legs.

His name is “Pierre” and we met two days prior to that while standing in line at Starbucks where I ordered a Blackberry Mojito Tea Lemonade with no other intentions in mind other than to drink my drink and go home. He was a rather tall gentleman for a Frenchman (5’9”ish), with beautiful, dreamy, thick dark blonde hair, peppered with a little grey, and your typical European hipster glasses. He was also kind of hairy, from what I could tell under his V-neck shirt, and I had also never been with a Frenchman before and so I think, “Why not check this box off?”

YOMYOMF’s Summer Blockbuster Showdown — EDGE OF TOMORROW!

YOMYOMF's Summer Blockbuster Showdown Part 2-01

Select Offenders will be reviewing this summer’s crop of Hollywood tentpole films with a scientifically tested set of criteria that was vetted, nurtured, dissected and regurgitated through the pop-culture gadflies who have nothing better to do than annoy other productive people in the YOMYOMF office. So, we channeled their nitpicks of the incessant reboots, remakes and rehashes that are part and parcel with Hollywood summer movies into this ongoing summer blog series called the SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER SHOWDOWN. You can read previous roundtable reviews, which are all archived here

Since we’re a little late in the game (we’re already heading into July), we’re going to play catch-up this week with a series of blogs about the films that have been released already. In this edition, we discuss EDGE OF TOMORROW starring Tom Cruise.

BTW, this roundtable review is chock full of spoilers. You’ve been warned!