SAF seeking… Porn Star Sex. Yes. I did. And you?

guest_offenders

ANNIKA

Annika is a 28 year old Cambodian Vietnamese Chinese French American who recently returned to school to finish a bachelor’s degree in computer science and linguistics. Her hobbies and interests include swimming, cooking, baking, writing, reading, math, symbolic logic, learning foreign languages, and drinking espresso – and of course, boys.

Objects may appear bigger in real life.

Objects may appear bigger in real life.

“I’m nothing like my on-screen persona,” he said. “I’m much more sensual in person.”

“Oh, joy!” I thought to myself.

It was June of 2012 and I was staring this Belgian-Dutch boy in the face. We have never before met and we had only spent a few days talking via text message and had never even heard each other’s voice until I was en route to his place. It had been six months since I had engaged in any sort of copulation and the previous tryst in which I had engaged was with a Belgian-French (total coincidence) wine boy.

I had hoped that the relationship would have turned out into something creepy and romantic like in the film, L’Appartement, but alas, it ended with me throwing him out of my apartment after three minutes of terrible sex and twenty minutes of him projecting some crazy guilt onto me. All I had by which to remember him was an empty bottle of Riesling and a semen-crusted hand towel.

7 People Who Really Are Your Asian Sidekick

guest_offendersDOMINIC

Dominic Mah recently co-wrote a feature film about superheroes and sidekicks. His dream project is a rock musical version of the James Bond film “You Only Live Twice.” He is often found in karaoke bars being @dommah.

In response to the recently trending #NotYourAsianSidekick, here are seven people who actually are your Asian sidekick. Status as a POC sidekick doesn’t always mean being marginalized, objectified, and/or killed — it just USUALLY means that. But there are a few sidekick types who elevate, empower and sometimes complicate the sidekick trope by turning out to be, well, real people.

The Asian Batgirl

SIDEKICK TO: Batman and the Bat-Family

Batgirl

Cassandra Cain is one of the best melee fighters in the world, able to anticipate opponent’s movements with her superhuman ability to read body language. She is the Hapa daughter of Bat-foes David Cain and Sandra Wu-San, a.k.a. Lady Shiva. Although derived from the Dangerous Dragon Lady stereotype, Batgirl is nobody’s lotus flower, and more to the point, nobody’s Robin. She benefits from her association with the Bat-brand, but she does her own thing, has her own problems. (Main one being, her mom and dad are both assassins.) As a lithe, Asian, spin-kicking, socially self-conscious ingenue, it’s a wonder Joss Whedon hasn’t made a movie about her yet. Which brings us to….

SAF Seeking… Bad faithful sex for Green Card

guest_offendersANNIKA

Annika is a 28 year old Cambodian Vietnamese Chinese French American who just recently returned to school to finish a bachelor’s degree in computer science and linguistics. Her hobbies and interests include swimming, cooking, baking, writing, reading, math, symbolic logic, learning foreign languages, and drinking espresso – and of course, boys.

TV2

“I’ve only slept with three women,” said the 26 year old foreigner.

“Oh. Wow.”

“Yeah. I paid for all of them.”

“Huh.”

So began the first date I have been on since my break-up with my much older, foreign boyfriend of the last year and a half, and before the aforementioned boyfriend, I was married for four and a half years to a guy – also a foreign national – who modeled on the side.

Nine 2013 Things That Later Will Seem Sooooo 2013.

guest_offendersDOMINIC
Dominic Mah is a writer of screenplays, rock musicals, comics/graphic novels, and the kind of status updates that help you lose weight while having fun. He is often found in karaoke bars, being @dommah.

2013sucked

The years pass. The flip phone you coveted in 2005 to replace your clunky chocolate bar is now atrociously old, unapp-able, irrelevant. At the time, it was the best electronic device ever. But “ever” turned out to be a real long time. Here I propose 10 phenomena and pop-culture moments that for better and worse will be inextricably locked to this time, and in the future when you think on them, whether it is with fondness, disdain, or just a kind of wizened adult knowing, you will go, “Dude, that was soooo 2013.”

1. Having thoughts longer than 140 characters.
This has been on the way out for a while, but after 2013, all thoughts longer than a tweet will be considered totally quaint, #Ifigure. People will instinctively boil their ideas down to #hashtaggable size, to avoid the shame of having unleashed, like, a tome of blah blah blah @ their @friends and @followers. For example, this whole argument used to be composed of much longer sentences, with citations and evidence to extensively support my thesis. But then I got the point already. #Movingon #PoeticClarity

Why did I stop blogging?

guest_offendersADAM

Adam Chau lives in Minneapolis where he’s hoping to one day move from because he still can’t stand the cold even though he’s lived in the Midwest for his whole life. His random musings have been posted up at places that really didn’t know what they were getting into and he’s currently starting his own pseudo drug empire because he believes crystal sriracha is the next big thing.

yomyomf-12192013

Why did I stop blogging?

That was a recent question posed to me on the blog I used to run slanteyefortheroundeye.com (which is kept live for archives, but without any new posts since the end of last year).

In a way, and maybe this is just my perception (tainted with bias), I like to think of the time that I came up blogging as kind of a golden era, a movement if you will–where politics, media, and art came together under this umbrella of Asian American activism fueled by new technologies, social media, and new voices (or resurgent voices) in the blogosphere–catalysts for more to come.

During the time from May of 2007 through December of 2012 I put up about 5100 blog posts and had gotten to know, or know about, countless Asian Americans in a multitude of disciplines: bloggers, poets, novelists, singers, musicians, directors, screenwriters, activists, students, and community organizers among others.

A Case of T.M.A.?

guest_offendersCURTIS AND ADAM

Curtis Chin and Adam Wolman are working on a new documentary, Tested, which focuses on a diverse group of families from throughout NYC as they fight to get into one of city’s few specialized high schools. The two met while working at ABC. In addition, Curtis is the award-winning writer/producer of Vincent Who? and a Visiting Scholar at NYU. Adam, drawing on his experience at HBO Digital, Disney|ABC Television Group, MTV, and CBS Productions, consults for companies and individuals creating content for all media. To support their film’s Kickstarter campaign and watch a teaser reel, please visit their page here

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T.M.A. Too many Asians. It’s a concern discussed in hushed tones or coded language. Not in the fields of government, pro sports or Hollywood movies, but rather in the case of high school and college admissions — most frequently, at America’s most elite educational institutions.

At Harvard, the 2011-’12 incoming class was 18% Asian American. It was the same percentage at Princeton, Stanford and Columbia. At Yale, it was 15% and at the University of Michigan, 13%. A purely merit-based analysis suggests these numbers should be higher. But that would be T.M.A.

Who is This Mandarin Guy in ‘Iron Man 3′?

DOMINIC

Dominic Mah is a writer, director, rock musical aficionado, and ex-professional gambler. He can be found on the internets as dommah, paranormalstatus.com, and @ThorHulkCritic. His personal heroes are Stan Lee, Bruce Lee, Annabel Lee and Barbara Lee.

The villain in Marvel’s latest Iron Man film is the Mandarin, a character who fought Iron Man about 600 times in the original comics, and has always been totally Chinese. That is, until Sir Ben Kingsley was cast to play him in Iron Man 3. Now that the movie’s arrived, we can throw out speculation and see what they did. Here’s a short primer to the original comic-book Mandarin to arm you with nerdy talking points for comparison:

The Mandarin is a ridiculously powerful half-Chinese man. He owns ten alien rings, each with a devastating alien power, which he wears on all ten fingers all the time, because you never know on any given day if you’re going to need the Mento-Intensifier Ring or the Vortex Beam Ring (or the Matter Rearranger Ring, which one imagines is super-useful for the lactose-intolerant). Like Will Smith’s son, he is a master of karate, and presumably some Chinese martial arts as well. He does grand, Genghis Khan-scale evil mastermind type things. He has his own giant robot named Ultimo. In one particularly great X-Men storyline, the Mandarin captured Psylocke (a telepathic British lady, up to that point the prissiest of the X-Persons), and literally turned her Japanese, so that she could become his sidekick ninja assassin. She’s still Japanese, too. Apparently people just liked her better that way.

A Different Kind of Southern Asian Rapper Guy…

EUGENE

Eugene Ahn is a former lawyer who makes indie geek-rap as Adam WarRock, and has toured extensively over the past two years. His music has been featured on sites/publications such as SPIN, Time Magazine, The Washington Post, PRI, BBC, AV Club, and more. He’s from Memphis and seriously, has never been to Graceland. He has blogged for YOMYOMF before and has released a new EP today at his website. The first music video and single, “City Beautiful,” debuts here:

Relevant to the first single and music video, he’s written a blog post about what it’s like growing up Asian in the South…

Via http://iamjoeymiller.com

Home is a strange concept, especially for someone who’s traveled as much as me. As an indie musician, I’ve performed over 120 times in the past two years across the country. And everywhere I seem to go, no one can believe I’m from the South.

Yellowface, Blue Hairs, and the Challenge to Broaden Broadway

HOWARD

After graduating with a lucrative double major in music history and communications, HOWARD HO immediately achieved his dream career in marketing, administration, and playing piano at friends’ weddings. When he had tired of his triumphs, he decided to risk it all to combine his talents (writing words and music) into a new guaranteed-moneymaking goal: writing a Broadway musical. Well, a Broadway-quality musical. Well, a musical influenced by Broadway-quality musicals…in Los Angeles. With no funding. And no producer. Even so, he’s written two musicals developed at East West Players and USC respectively. When he isn’t doing that, he’s working on sound design for East West Players and Company of Angels, composing scores for short films, and getting his master’s in professional writing at USC

I wanted to write about The Nightingale casting controversy and how disgusting it is for Asian American actors to not be cast in a major musical about ancient China. But plenty has been written here and here and here and here and here.

The latest response is a call to action by Tim Dang, producing artistic director of East West Players. He wants Asian actors to audition for parts that are not specifically Asian, and he wants audiences to go see shows that hire Asian actors. You heard the man. Do it!

PATANG: A passion project now out in theatres

PRASHANT

Prashant is an award-winning filmmaker and designer. Prior to his career as a filmmaker, Prashant worked on a joint project of the John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation and New York University instructing Chicago Public School teachers to use media and technology to tell their own stories and challenge public misconception. A native of Chicago, Prashant’s interest in the arts began as a graffiti artist. His award-winning first feature, Patang, is slowly releasing across the country and opens in LA this Friday

I’m honored to be a Guest Offender.  I’m excited to share that my feature film, Patang, has been making the festival rounds from Berlin to Tribeca, is finally going to be have its theatrical release in LA this Friday!!

Casting the Sinister Six: 6 Comic Actors to Play Villains for the Newly-Funny Spiderman Franchise

DOMINIC

Dominic Mah is a writer, director, rock musical aficionado, and ex-professional gambler. He is launching a new web series soon at paranormalstatus and also tweets nerdcore film critiques at @ThorHulkCritic. His personal heroes are Stan Lee, Bruce Lee, Annabel Lee and Barbara Lee.

If you are a Spiderman fan as I am, possibly you are also thrilled that the reboot (if the abundant trailers are to be believed) has rediscovered the web-swinger’s best character trait: relentless sarcastic one-liners. I don’t really give a hoot about this costume or that costume, organic webs or web shooters, if Spiderman is funny and snarky, as he’s supposed to be, I will think it to be a good and truthful Spiderman movie.

The other big Spider-Problem, unless you are a lizard fetishist, is with the rogues’ gallery. Spiderman’s enemies are, um, all very goofy. Spidey’s villains lack the juicy insanity of the Joker, the elegance of Lex Luthor, the sexy evil of the Hellfire Club. Mainly they’re half-crazy scientists with gadgets who alternate between saying “And with this I will take over the world!” and “Curse you, Spiderman!” As on a bad date, in his battles Spiderman generally pads the conversations with witticisms just to keep himself interested.

10 Things I Learned While Shooting, Directing & Editing My First Music Video

EUGENE

Adam WarRock quit his full-time job as a lawyer in June 2010 to pursue a career in music. You can read his YOMYOMF guest blog describing his experiences here

Every year around the anniversary of leaving his job, he has a donation drive to raise funds to keep releasing tons of free content each year. This is the only time of the year he has a donate button, he’s never done a kickstarter or fundraiser, and funds everything associated with his indie music career out of pocket. Donate any amount, and get tons of exclusive content as a thank you. Donate here

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtlVCwDhqIs[/youtube]In celebration of this two year anniversary, he’s released his first official music video. Here’s some things he learned while doing it: