YOMYOMF Summer Blockbuster Showdown: MINIONS

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1. Remake, Reboot, or Recycled? — Is it a remake or reboot or a “based on…” and how does it compare to the previous version, or the source material?

Liz: MINIONS is a spinoff series of the popular little twinkie/tatertot characters from the DESPICABLE ME movie franchise. They speak gibberish that oddly sounds a lot like Spanish and their goal is to work for the most evil boss they can find.

SIDE NOTE: You should know, that I have a very particular sense of “cute.” I love Hello Kitty. If something is round and organic in shape, fluffy, cutely colored, and funny looking, I will probably like it and want to squeeze it to death (like my dogs). Technically, I should love the Minions! They’re roundish, funny, and have personalities. However, even in DESPICABLE ME, I just could not get behind them. I know that I should think they’re cute, and yet something about the combination of their primary colors (Hello Kitty is made of primary colors and I love her), their weird language (Stitch has an alien language and I love him), and their slapstick humor (I’m a sucker for any physical comedy) makes me just cringe when thinking about them. I just wanted to bring all of this up so that you are aware that I was not the happiest camper going to see this movie. However, I was pumped to see it theater filled with kids, so I could tell what made the kids laugh even if I didn’t find things particularly funny.

YOMYOMF Summer Blockbuster Showdown: SAN ANDREAS

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1. Remake, Reboot, or Recycled? — Is it a remake or reboot and how does it compare to the previous version?
Dominic: This is unfortunately not a film version of the Grand Theft Auto video game. I first became aware of SAN ANDREAS from a TV ad the day after the Nepal earthquake, which, whether by design or not, felt really appalling. Also, it’s an awful movie.

Liz: Dom. Seriously? You thought it was going to be a film version of GTA: San Andreas? And man, that was terrible timing that you heard about SAN ANDREAS after the Nepal earthquake (Click here to donate to the relief efforts in Nepal). I was SUPER PUMPED to see SAN ANDREAS (aka “The Movie Where The Rock Steals A Bunch Of Stuff”). I am such a sucker for disaster movies like DANTE’S PEAK, VOLCANO, DAY AFTER TOMORROW. I also love bad action movies that are not part of any existing properties. So, you bet I was excited to watch this movie. See California get destroyed? See the Rock do cool stunts? uh.. F*CK YES. I was so excited that I pre-bought tickets to see it opening on Thursday night with my fellow lover of terrible action movies, Mr. Aaron Takahashi.

YOMYOMF Summer Blockbuster Showdown is back with AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON

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The summer movie season is upon us as we return with another edition of the YOMYOMF SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER SHOWDOWN, where a bunch of Offenders pontificate about this year’s tentpoles. The first 2015 showdown out of the gate — Marvel’s AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON!

1. Remake, Reboot, or Recycled? — Is it a remake or reboot and how does it compare to the previous version?

Dom: The sequel to THE AVENGERS is as fun and pseudo-stupid as its predecessor, but not in exactly the same ways. The main improvement is that Captain America has learned a lot about fighting for film since the first AVENGERS, owing to the excellent WINTER SOLDIER, which, thus far, has gotta be the best Marvel movie for normal people.

Silence of THE FLASH / Hunt the Dark ARROW

guest_offendersDOMINIC

Dominic Mah is a writer, director, erratic blogger at dommah.com, and rock musical enthusiast. He recently co-wrote a feature film about superheroes and sidekicks. He is working on a startup comic book. He is often found in karaoke bars being @dommah and @thorhulkcritic.

Screen shot 2015-04-02 at 9.15.07 AMMark Hamill guest-stars as the Trickster in this week’s THE FLASH. Yes, he also voices the Joker in the Batman animated series and videogames, and he also played the Trickster in the old-school FLASH series of the 90s, so basically Mark Hamill owns the Jokey DC Villains Who Cackle. Barry and Joe consult Mark in his prison cell when a new Trickster threatens Central City. The setup is very much Silence of the Lambs, down to Mr. Hamill’s terrifyingly-accurate sense of smell. Also, he eats a Red Vine in a way that is just wrong.

In possibly the most meta-humorous moment in THE FLASH thus far, Mark Hamill delivers this surprising line to the new Trickster: “I AM YOUR FATHER.” Yessir, Mark Hamill says that. **

Flash & Arrow: Big Boss Battles

guest_offendersDOMINIC

Dominic Mah is a writer, director, erratic blogger at dommah.com, and rock musical enthusiast. He recently co-wrote a feature film about superheroes and sidekicks. He is working on a startup comic book. He is often found in karaoke bars being @dommah and @thorhulkcritic.

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(Spoilers ahead)

This week’s FLASH and ARROW were mainly about leveling up the difficulty of the heroes’ showdowns with their foes, by addition of dramatic weight, new weapons, and an Iron Man suit.

FIGHT #1 Flash vs. The Rogues Gallery

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Queer Positive Moments in This Week’s ‘Arrow’ and ‘Flash’

guest_offenderDOMINIC

Dominic Mah is a writer, director, erratic blogger at dommah.com, and rock musical enthusiast. He recently co-wrote a feature film about superheroes and sidekicks. He is working on a startup comic book. He is often found in karaoke bars being @dommah and @thorhulkcritic.

FLASH's David Singh

FLASH’s David Singh

Y’know, those superhero shows may uphold some ideas which are of questionable value in real-world application — vigilanteism, duplicity, the solving of almost every problem with violence, the unlawful imprisonment of misfits whose main crime is that they can shoot electricity from their hands — but juvenile hero fantasies aside, they are also pretty supportive of gay people.

In this week’s FLASH, we meet, for the first time (I think), Central City Police Captain David Singh’s boyfriend, Rob. Captain Singh is hospitalized after Weather Wizard attacks the police station. The nurse hesitates when Rob wants to see David, saying that visitation is only for “family.” Joe explains that being Singh’s fiancé qualifies Rob as family. Ooh! A future same-sex marriage episode of FLASH seems inevitable! Pied Piper (Flash’s resident queer Rogue) will probably attack the wedding.

Leonard Nimoy at Star Trek Con

guest_offenderLIZ

Liz Ho is a fortune cookie: a crispy-Asian-American-treat that will give you useless advice & lotto numbers. She loves Star Trek, Hello Kitty (OBVIOUSLY), reading, working on her YouTube Channel and taking daily pictures of her ewok of a dogs.

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Hearing about the loss of Leonard Nimoy this morning made my heart drop. I am a Star Trek fan and have been since childhood.

I could wax on about how much Trek and Spock has influenced my life, and they both have, greatly. But I feel like there are better, more eloquent writers who can do that and so, I shall let them.

However, I will touch on the last time I ever saw Nimoy at the Creation Entertainment Las Vegas Star Trek Con. The Creation Entertainment Las Vegas Con is the biggest and oldest of the Star Trek Conventions. Nimoy, like many of his other co-stars, have appeared on its stages numerous times over the years.

Arrow “Nanda Parbat”

guest_offenderDOMINIC

Dominic Mah is a writer, director, erratic blogger at dommah.com, and rock musical enthusiast. He recently co-wrote a feature film about superheroes and sidekicks. He is working on a startup comic book. He is often found in karaoke bars being @dommah and @thorhulkcritic.

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Some truly wacky things happened on this week’s ARROW. I’ll attempt to encapsulate:

OLIVER GOES TO FIGHT RA’S AL GHUL…AGAIN.
Thea reveals to everyone who doesn’t know that she killed Sara while under the influence of her evil dad, Malcolm Merlyn. She then rats him out to the League of Assassins, who waste no time capturing Merlyn and dragging him off to Nanda Parbat, the secret Himalayan city wherein the Assassins live in a fancy stronghold. Thea thinks, as I do, that this is a reasonable way for the bad guys to settle their business with each other.

Arrow “The Return”

guest_offenderDOMINIC

Dominic Mah is a writer, director, erratic blogger at dommah.com, and rock musical enthusiast. He recently co-wrote a feature film about superheroes and sidekicks. He is working on a startup comic book. He is often found in karaoke bars being @dommah and @thorhulkcritic.

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This week’s ARROW is a two-pronged flashback: in the present, Oliver and Thea return to the prison island Lian Yu for some LOST-esque survivalizing. In the past, longhaired Oliver returns to Starling City for the first time since escaping Lian Yu (the first time) with his mega-improved archery skills.

Also we have the return of Slade Wilson/Deathstroke, whom Malcolm Merlyn sets free to test the Queens’ killer instinct. The idea is that none in the Arrow gang will survive Ras al Ghul’s forthcoming wrath unless Oliver is willing to kill. Malcolm has these types of ideas because he’s an Evil Mastermind.

Flash “Fallout”: Consensual Firestorming, Time Travel & Gorillas

guest_offendersDOMINIC

Dominic Mah is a writer, director, erratic blogger at dommah.com, and rock musical enthusiast. He recently co-wrote a feature film about superheroes and sidekicks. He is working on a startup comic book. He is often found in karaoke bars being @dommah and @thorhulkcritic.

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Firestorm separates into his two component people, Ronnie Raymond and Martin Stein, and they bicker about the inconveniences of sharing one body: hygiene, different haircut preferences, fractured personality, etc. Caitlin and Ronnie are reunited and make a lot of kissyface. (SPOILER: One of these days, Caitlin’s going to become Killer Frost, Firestorm’s complicated-villainess-relationship equivalent of Batman’s Catwoman.) Ronnie and Martin eventually reconsider the benefits of being one dude with the body of a hunky action star and the mind of a nuclear physicist. They figure out that Firestorm can function as an effective flamethrowing superhero if they perform the merger with full willing consent. They do this, some nuclear sparks fly as they trounce the bad guys, and then they de-merge to go back to their loving heterosexual relationships.

ARROW Review: “Canaries”

guest_offendersDOMINIC

Dominic Mah is a writer, director, erratic blogger at dommah.com, and rock musical enthusiast. He recently co-wrote a feature film about superheroes and sidekicks. He is working on a startup comic book. He is often found in karaoke bars being @dommah and @thorhulkcritic.

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Arrow was dead for what, one episode? He returned in last week’s “Uprising” via the plot of THE DARK KNIGHT RISES (basically) and finds Starling City still fraught with dramas to deal with/shoot arrows into.

Oliver reluctantly shows Thea the Arrowcave, and she is extremely happy that her brother was only pretending to be a flaky playboy all those times, when in fact he was fighting street crime with archaic weaponry.

Flash, Firestorm & Speed Dating: “The Nuclear Man”

guest_offenderDOMINIC

Dominic Mah is a writer, director, erratic blogger at dommah.com, and rock musical enthusiast. He recently co-wrote a feature film about superheroes and sidekicks. He is working on a startup comic book. He is often found in karaoke bars being @dommah and @thorhulkcritic.

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FLASH MEETS AN ASIAN PERSON

FLASH gains its first Asian cast regular, Linda Park (played by Malese Jow), Barry Allen’s new love interest. All right, ideally she becomes more than a love interest but I’m pretty certain she doesn’t have a superpower. Barry met Linda in a karaoke bar and impressed her both with his turn on “Summer Nights” and his startling resemblance to that guy on GLEE. Linda’s very into Barry and after roughly 1.75 dates wants to jump his bones. But a Classic Complicated Superhero Relationship Problem interferes, as Barry is called off to an important superhero mission juuuuuust as they’re making out and the underthings are coming off.