There's something for everyone
Buying gifts during the holidays tends to be a double-edged sword for me. It’s actually quite fun and novel for me to find things for people I don’t normally buy gifts for – friends, colleagues, and those who have hard jobs helping people like me out (eg: the staff at my doctor’s office who normally get chewed out by fussy Santa Monica housewives). I like to figure out what they need, what they wouldn’t buy for themselves but would enjoy, etc.
I don’t drink, do drugs, or extreme sports. I do pork, fried dough, and sugar. But sometimes, too much of a good thing can be just that…too much. Here are the few times when I’ve crossed the threshold and moved from indulgent bliss to remorse…
Credit to theminty.com for chiu chow dry noodles (Kim Ky Noodle House)
Maybe I’m overdue for a trip to a hawker stall in Thailand or Singapore. Or I’m just watching too many episodes of Anthony Bourdain’s ‘No Reservations’ – my equivalent of food porn. I can’t help but have food envy seeing him hit up a street vendor and get turned on as he hungrily anticipates his humble bowl of noodles. My memories of Southeast Asia usually summon up cravings of dry soup noodles – basically noodles with all the fixings but with the broth on the side. It’s a different experience from the traditional soup noodles. The ingredients are not bound together by a mellow broth, but suffused with usually some kind of pork or chicken fat – a special sauce that like the Dark Knight, is both evil and good.
While fellow offender Phil’s working on his Judgment Day booty call list , I am also thinking about how to spend my last moments of existence before the apocalypse descends. It’s pretty clear that despite being a good girl most of my life, I’ve been a theocratic slut keeping company with Atheists, Buddhists, Hindus, Muslims, and all variety of hardcore non-believers who like me, won’t be getting past the velvet rope to heaven. So naturally, these last few hours would be best devoted to doing the thing that has made my life worth living and that’s eating. If I could have my version of the last supper, I’d have a mile long table with family, friends and some celebrity guests including masters of ceremonies Tina Fey, John Stewart, and Anthony Bourdain to keep the atmosphere upbeat. Jonathan Gold will help curate the menu and tell us what we’re eating. We’d have a massive multicourse meal and eat until the ground breaks wide open and consumes us. All you yomyomf offenders, readers, and heathens are invited. As I only have a few hours, logistically I’ll have to pull this off in LA but lucky for me, LA has lots of good ‘last meal’ choices. Lots of gut-busting soulful stuff that will keep us happily filled up as we wait for the hellfire to engulf us. Any suggestions welcome.
It’s not surprising that Sophia – the ‘Tiger Cub’ aka overachieving spawn of ‘Tiger Mom’ Amy Chua has been accepted to Harvard, Yale, and probably a few other ivies. My initial thought is to send happy wishes to Sophia who will soon be released from her minimum security prison mother’s loving supervision to indulge in all sorts of bacchanalian revelry hiding behind those distinguished brick and ivied walls.
I know that today’s election day – Tuesday, March 8th is somewhat an anticlimactic one with all sorts of odd and end measures and council people to vote in. However, I do want to take a moment and champion a humble cause ‘Measure L’: The Los Angeles Reassignment of Funds for the Library System that has advocates as wide ranging as acclaimed sci-fi writer Ray Bradbury to LA Police Chief, Charlie Beck. To get the quick and dirty on why ‘Yes on L’ here are the summary and facts – the main one being that this measure will not require raising new tax dollars.
For me libraries have always held a special place in my heart. So here are my personal reasons for supporting libraries….
Part of the reason why I enjoy blogging for yomyomf.com is because you – the readers are not shy to express an opinion or share an insight. And, from the various comments that you have generously shared since our birth one of the terms that seems to pop up every so often is ‘Chinkology’.
It’s a mystery how my brother and I were conceived as my old school Chinese mom and dad rarely expressed any affection with one another. And yet, with no real displays of romance between my parents, my mother still felt that she was an authority on love and courtship. But that should not be surprising as with all old school Chinese mothers – especially mine, it’s a given that they will be dogmatic about all important matters from finding your life partner to the optimum way of folding your underwear.
Thanks to Technorati.com for digging up this photo of an OSCM
Since posting my holiday blog on “How to Survive the Holidays Chinese Style”, I received some requests from non-Chinese readers for a primer on what to do if your loved one has a hardcore Chinese mom and/or dad. I’m glad to help out but, should warn you that deconstructing Chinese parents isn’t completely straightforward – there are there are quite a few varieties of hardcore Chinese parents (HCCP) who share primarily the same traits but have different concerns. These differences relate to issues of immigration (straight off the boat 1st generation vs. well assimilated 4th generation), class (working vs. upper class), and level of education (village grade schools vs. Ivy League). Like training dogs, knowing the breed will determine your response when the HCCP inadvertently invokes our blog and screams “You offend me, you offend (our) family!”
4 Comments on Double Happiness: Hardcore Chinese Motherpedia Part 1
This past week the New York Times published an article about Brock Enright, a Columbia M.F.A. grad who founded Videogames Adventure Services, a company that “that constructs ‘reality adventures’ for paying clients”. Despite what yomyomf.com readers may think – they don’t peddle in sexual fantasies. Instead their services sound like the equivalent of a live action, interactive “choose your own adventure” novel for those who seek their thrills from being kidnapped as opposed to bungee jumping (that’s so 1990s). Their clients tend to be a well-heeled set and will pay $5,000-10,000 to be the star of scenarios choreographed and acted by Enright and his team.
For all you SPAM addicts out there, Mauna Loa have created a SPAM-flavored macadamia nut. I just spotted cans of them a few weeks ago in one of the snack shops at the international section of LAX. While there are some wacky flavored snacks out in the world from blueberry and hazelnut flavored Pringles to watermelon and salt-flavored Kit Kat, most of these flavors are at root, based on ingredients that exist in the natural world. Instead, SPAM is its own artificial creation and, possesses an unearthly taste and texture that barely evokes “spiced ham” despite what its moniker suggests. But it doesn’t matter. SPAM is just SPAM in our our minds. Just like vanilla, chocolate, and seaweed – SPAM has embedded itself into our subconscious to become its own specific flavor that is easy to recognize but difficult to describe.
7 Comments on SPAM and Other Things I Experience But Can't Describe
Recently, Yale Law Professor, Amy Chua has been whipping the blogosphere into a frenzy with her newly released book ‘Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother’ and provocative promo piece – the WSJ article ‘Why Chinese Moms Are Superior’. (An exception to the rule – my fellow bloggers Anderson and Phil have simply gotten hot and bothered by her MILF-y appeal and tough love modus operandi.) In a nutshell, she proudly divulges the details of her strict disciplinary approach and suggests that this style of parenting is not only typically associated with Chinese parents but also, produces winning results as evidenced by her two musician prodigy daughters. Her article has hit a nerve as she’s been accused of perpetuating and exploiting racial stereotypes, condoning child abuse, and being reductive and elitist in her definition of success. And with all the fervor particularly around her severe parenting methods, you’d think she has everyone convinced that she’s one badass Chinese mom. (Cue 70s exploitation film music).
38 Comments on Double Happiness: Why Amy Chua is The Panda Express of Chinese Moms
I spent the holidays with my 96 year old grandmother who looks better than most in their 60s. Little has changed with her since I was a child – she’s got all her hair, has beautiful skin, still exercises, cooks, cleans, makes her opinions known and eats like a horse. She loves dressing up and needs nothing more than some red lipstick to get ogled by the single septuagenarians at her apartment complex. The only thing about her that has diminished somewhat is her hearing which just means that the Shanghainese banter in the household is now a notch above the normal level of screaming that usually occurs. Admittedly, I have rested on my laurels thinking that my grandmother’s genes will allow me to live on without worrying too much about my health. But, upon reading a recent article in the LA Times about the danger of consuming too much sugar and carbs, I have started to reconsider my eating habits.
As part of our series of shorts that caught our attention during the Interpretations Film initiative last year, I wanted to give some kudos to ETERNAL PIECE by Ryan Yang from Rolling Meadows, Illinois.
While this short film is quite accomplished for a filmmaker of any age, we were particularly struck by the fact that it was directed by a 17 year old. Guided by the elegant cinematography of Justin Capadocia of Kinema Group, Ryan created a touching tribute to those in his life who were struck down by cancer. His approach – juxtaposing the subject as a child playing piano with the melancholy sequences of him dying as a young man effectively create a moving little short. The performances are subtle and the use of the script is effective in punctuating the dramatic beats. My only critique would be that the vocals were not necessary as the simple piano arrangement and images alone were quite powerful to carry the emotions of the film. Much like the way it feels to mourn and remember the life and death of a loved one, this film evokes both the painful and bittersweet.
We all love our families, but spending over 24 hours with them in close proximity during a time when joy and good vibes are mandatory can be a mental hazard. Here are some of the ways I’ve learned to adapt-
1. Submit to the dress code: My brother used to make fun of me when I’d come home dressed up like a flight attendant – pants or skirt suit, sensible heels, pearls and a silk scarf for a touch of color. Looking like my mother’s “mini me” was an easy way to preempt any clothing critiques.
8 Comments on Double Happiness: How to Survive the Holidays Chinese American Style
In celebration of the holidays and this week’s theme of ‘gluttony’. Here are some places that I have trouble resisting the urge to over indulge…
1. Korean BBQ: Korean bbq is dangerous. There is a kind of conveyor belt urgency that develops when high grade kobe and kalbi risks being being overcooked on the grill and suddenly one is compelled to consume a slice every five seconds. Before you know it, you’ve cleaned up that plate of raw meat and busting a mean gut.
LA LUCHA (Va Voom!) A little piece of heaven in Lima, Peru.
I confess, I’ve eaten a McRib — back when I was in grade school. Back when I believed in many things – that McDonalds served food not, by-products; Santa was the harbinger of my Snoopy Snow Cone Machine; life was fair; and sex was only had by porn stars not, parents. For any of you who are remotely tempted by that corn syrup shellacked, injection molded mystery meat, I implore you to pursue these much better options to satiate your porcine cravings.
Double your pleasure with chicharron con camote on the left and lechon on the right.
For the most part, my unconscious mind has been strong enough to evade the grasp of advertising and its influence. Rarely was I ever compelled by a tiger to buy frosted flakes or picked my brand of tampons based on how fresh and fancy-free the model looked. But while a cheap jingle is equivalent to white noise, stories via movies, tv shows, and books can trigger a Pavlovian response. Here are some of the food cravings and curiosities that I developed through my adventures in art, entertainment and literature.
Just returned from Peru and amongst the food finds, had my first taste of guinea pig. Guinea pig or “Cuy” in Spanish, is for Peruvians what suckling pig is for Chinese – a glorious delicacy that is often eaten as a part of family celebrations. The texture is like Peking duck – moist meat and crispy skin but with the smoky, fatty aromatic taste of pork belly. I tried it both styles – fancy and old-school.
The fancy style was a small strip of the oven roasted rodent on a bed of polenta served at a restaurant inside The Hotel Monestario in Cusco. There was a nicely browned skin capping a fillet of tender meat, but no real sense that there was a guinea pig there. The polenta was a nice soothing touch, but However, the old-school style can be found at La Chomba – a local hole in the wall that spit roasts these pigs whole with head and everything and serves them on a bed of tomatoes with local Peruvian potatoes. Being Cantonese, I’m partial to the old-school, see your animal and tear it apart with your bare hands way of eating. The fact that there was nothing but a spit and picnic tables between you and your meat somehow made it a more primal eating experience – no fancy carved garnishes or drizzled sauces to get in the way of the meat that is best cooked perfectly and eaten simply.
8 Comments on Adventures in Peru: Guinea Pig - not just a pet
I admire all things vintage (circa 1900s-1960s) – clothing, jewelry, furniture, architecture, cars, and…food. Fortunately in Los Angeles, there are still quite a few establishments that are cooking up meals that hearken back to another time – an innocent time that was pre-Atkins, pre-macrobiotic, and pre-vegan. Here are a few of my favorites-
The original space for Uncle John's.
