If you’re like me and don’t know who to root for in the Superbowl tomorrow, maybe this post could be of service. Of course most people don’t have any stake in the big game in Arlington (because our own team sucks) and just want to watch the million dollar commercials or a Fergie nipple sip like Janet at half time but for you true football fans that are still on the fence on whether to cheer for the Pittsburgh Steelers or the Green Bay Packers, I decided to google “What is free if the packers win” and what came up was free ice cream in Wisconsin and one free extra night in Chicago Omni hotels. Pretty sweet! Then I googled “What is free if the steelers win” Coincidental, this came up…a free blowjob from porn star Diamond Foxxx. Wowwowwubbsy! Ice cream or bj hmmmm. I’d hate to be the 100th guy in either line.
But if that didn’t help your decision making, I’ve enlisted a few friends to represent their team to state their cases.
Superbowl XLV
Top 5 “Rain” Songs
Its raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring…John Cusack is the king of “my life sucks” to “winning the girl of my dreams” movies. He always faces these decisions in life making bad choices and goes into this depressing state of regret over a girl. Maybe I could see how many men can relate to him. But um not me, oh NO WAY! One of my favorite movie of his is High Fidelity based from a book by Nick Hornby and directed by Stephen Frears (Dirty Pretty Things). It also costarred Jack Black when he was funny and wasn’t trying so hard. I loved that movie because it came off so badass and fresh. They would always do a “Top 5″ list while they were working in the record store. Here’s our office Top 5 songs that have the word “RAIN” in it.
5. Milli Vanilli – Blame It On The Rain
Favre’s Wish Came True
For you NFL football fans who know about Brett Favre’s consecutive start record in jeopardy because of last week’s shoulder injury, don’t worry, his prayers have been answered. First he was able dodge suspension for a few games with his penis text messaging to sideline reporter Jenn Sterger. I would assume just being “Brett Favre” would be enough. But with his shoulder injury needing a few more days rest, the big man up in the sky granted him another mulligan by postponing the game. A force majeure in action. Just stop the bleeding and retire Favre.
Do You Want to be a Veteran?
Many friends and family ask me to give advice to people who are thinking about enlisting. Sometimes its too harsh to give the truth but most of the time its really easy. But my respond to this favor is usually, do you want me to talk them out of going or prepare them. They are always in shock when I say this because they never realize what kind of influence a veteran can have. Of course I don’t yell, “Don’t do it! Its a huge mistake” or “They treat you like shit! Welcome to hell.” Nor do I say, “Its like Disneyland only better” or “Think about the fun you’ll be having living with 97% men, holding a gun for the next 4+ years of your life and come back all crazy.” But if you want my advice for you or anyone you know that is thinking about joining up, here it is.
Giants Baseball…Torture
I’ve been a baseball fan from as far as I can first walk worshipping the San Francisco Giants. The days of Will the Thrill’s batting stance and Kevin ‘Batman’ Mitchell’s bare handed catch will forever be burnt into my memory . I’m not sure if they called him Batman but he did have pointy ears. I love the nicknames in baseball; Caveman, Kung Fu Panda, Hammer, Mr. October. Losing to the Angels in game 6 made the biggest hole in my heart. It hurts just typing it. Any real sports fan out there can relate. That’s why I’m so excited for the Giants to make the Divisional Series this year. It’s been SEVEN years without a playoff appearance. This year we have great pitching and amazing team chemistry. But there’s been a mass amount of close games giving the Giants baseball nickname ‘TORTURE’. Tim Lincecum aka THE FREAK pitches our first game Saturday and a win could set the right tone to get back to the World Series. People pay good money to see THE FREAK because he is quite one of a kind. He has a talent that can be both amazing and dangerous. It’s funny because my friends call me the freak too…only because I have a freakishly large tongue. GO GIANTSSSS!!! Anyone else have a nickname?
Sweating Balls
Why do guys play adjust themselves so much? Well I’m here to tell you its because of mainly one factor, the heat. With the recent global warming attack of record setting temperatures, its of no doubt that most men have that feeling of sticky or itchy feeling down there especially kids today with their TIGHT pants. And either you’re a guy who doesn’t care about adjusting themselves in public or you find ways to pretend to itch their thighs, walk with a wide step or sit with a very open leg stance. We’re actually de-velcro’n our balls from our leg. It’s really not our fault. When it gets hot, our junk hangs lower to dissipate the elevated temperatures. Same goes with the opposite with shrinkage when you jump into a cold pool. But I’ve been researching on a few tips to alleviate some of these sticky moments. And here’s what I got.
The Watermelon
As indie filmmakers, we always have to think of creative ways to come up with no budget videos. This probably is one of my favorite elements of filmmaking because no one ever knows how we really pulled off certain shots…only the final product. When I wrote the scene where “Annie” starts stabbing into “Roger’s” head, I didn’t really think how we were going to pull it off.
In this movie magic scene, a few ideas to hack into a guys head for our Manivore webisodes was using a piñata. So I went down to my local piñata store in Highland Park and asked if they could make me a look-a-like of a human head to kill. They looked at me strange and said we don’t like killing human heads. Then I asked the lady what else looks like a head then…and she pointed over to the produce department and said perhaps a $3 watermelon.
My First…Pedicure
Last week, for some reason a friend wanted to take me to get a pedicure. He was a guy too, just for clarification. I was actually in more need of a massage due to countless hours of computer staring but sure, why not, I’ll try anything once. We hit up the Santa Anita mall to his “spot” for pedicures. My first instinct and question was, “Um, Are we gonna be sitting right inside the window for shoppers to see us?” Luckily they put us in the back completely away from anyone to see us…or me. Soaking in the feet with a watered light show. And out comes the ladies…oh lovely Vietnamese ladies. Stereotype…nah, well maybe. We were assigned a woman and off we go. Crunching, slicing, cutting, chewy…this was just the ladies eating their lunch in front of us before they started. Luckily the chair was one of those massage chairs or else I would have been complaining. But she began and it felt like royalty. NOT BAD RIGHT?! But then she decided to bust out a power tool. Something I would use to drill in screws. WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT ARE YOU DOING LADY?
People of Walmart
Its Friday! Its hot and you probably got another four to six hours before your weekend starts. Why not check out this site to kill time? My friend told me about People of Walmart and I’ve been hooked ever since. The captions they put on the pictures are hilarious, the randomness is amazing, and if only Employee of the Month Jessica Simpson was there too, it would be pure bliss. Be careful the next time you shop at Walmart. Happy Friday!
Friday the 13th
Today could be the unluckiest day of the year…if you believe in superstitions that is. Friday the 13th aka day of bad luck aka JASON in a hockey mask coming to ruin your slumber party has been known for the day of bad things to happen. I for one believe in bad omens and if you have been doing wrong to people or animals, karma might come bite you in the ass today. So here’s my list of things to do to avoid your unlucky day.
1. At work, keeping the same routine is always the way to stay lucky. For instance, when I was working on set on Fast and Furious I would always start my day finding a new trailer of an actor/producer/director/AD truck whatever to do my morning ritual of “droppin off the kids”.
People of Perspectives pt1
About a year and a half ago, Arowana Films got our first featured youtube video “Kim Jong Il Eharmony“. Of course we had no idea about utilizing youtube and all its greatness but we knew we made something viral. So our good friend SuChin Pak came into town and we thought, hmmmm why not make a video with her and Kim Jong. That would hit gold! But since the whole North Korean border “confusion” happened, we had to lay low and hold off anything that could be sensitive. But now I think with the awesomeness of President Clinton, we’re ok to start our “People of Perspectives” three part series. Happy Friday!!!
World is For Play – Trailer
I’ve been working countless hours on a bmx webseries project recently. I know its no excuse for my lack of blogging but my mind gets distracted easily these days when the paycheck is on the line. As I’m creating this from start to finish, I wanted to share my experience with you as this project has made me grow as a filmmaker. I’ve usually taken the role of a writer and/or producer on projects. But after I wrote and pitched the idea to the company, my producer asked me to direct it too. I figure after listening to the interpretation’s panel at the VC film fest and heard what the panel had to say, I stuck to their advice and “dared to fail”. Hopefully sharing some of these experiences of my journey will help any young filmmaker out there, especially any of you preparing to shoot their own interpretations entry.
I’ve learned that in trailers, less is more. Part of the trick, especially something like bikes and bmx, is to evoke emotion. And for a youtube video, you want it quick and fast. I didn’t have to explain the story nor did I have a deep-voiced dude saying some voice over. Instead, I turned something fast pace and high energy into something more epic and surreal. Stay tune as I’ll try to go over my journey with you from storyboarding to shooting four locations a day to the editing process as each episode launches. Here is the trailer to the 3 part webseries.
Enjoy!
