I Am The Nucleus

  • June 18, 2013 6:31 am

Whatever else you want to say about Kanye West, you can’t accuse him of false modesty.

His album “Yeezus,” due out today, features, in addition to a title which evokes the name of Catholocism’s main man…

…a track called “I Am God.” I confess I haven’t heard the song, but I’m guessing Kanye isn’t putting air quotes around the tune. And I’m guessing it was a style choice, not humility or reticence, that kept him from simply calling the album “Jesus.”

And I believe my guesses are of the educated variety, because, in a recent interview, West compares himself to Michael Jordan and Steve Jobs.  Read more...

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Around The Horn: Oh God, Not Another Hallmark Holiday

  • June 16, 2013 9:27 am

I cynically assume most holidays to be the inventions of companies praying on our guilt to get us to buy cards, candy and flowers.

Like today, Father’s Day.  Read more...

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A Mix Tape For You (song 14 of 30)

  • June 16, 2013 6:48 am

Song 14: “Into Action,” Tim Armstrong

I grew up on the second wave of ska (Specials, Madness, Selecter, Bad Manners, Bodysnatchers, Untouchables, etc.), and I haven’t heard the same addictive groove until Rancid frontman Tim Armstrong came up with this absolute party gem, which should’ve been WAY bigger than it was. Do you know how white you have to be not to bop along to this song?

Plus co-vocalist Skye Sweetnam is cute as a button (a really hot, sexy button).

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A Mix Tape For You (song 13 of 30)

  • June 15, 2013 6:44 am

Song 13: “Twist ‘n’ Shake,” The Untouchables

This was the first single I bought that felt like it was truly mine. I had emerged from the shadows my mom’s fondness for late Elvis and Nana Mouskouri (who, in Greece, apparently, has sold more records than Elvis), and “discovered” The Untouchables. I remember my friend’s dad packing us into his Volvo station wagon and driving us to The Roxy on the Sunset Strip, where the UT’s were the monthly house band. I was mesmerized. My ears throbbed. The bassist’s sweat flew onto my face. I skanked furiously. The next afternoon I took the bus to Vinyl Fetish on Melrose and bought the 45.

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Baristas Should Be Tipped As Much As Bartenders

  • June 13, 2013 6:55 am

Why?

Because they put in at least the same amount of labor as a bartender.  I say this as a bar owner and coffee shop patron.  A dollar per drink is a baseline gratuity in the bar world.  Now some drinks are elaborate and take a lot of time and effort – a Marrakech martini, for example – but pouring a Jack and Coke or popping the cap off a bottle of Budweiser?

Both take less time and effort than putting together a latte or macchiato or steamed anything.  Read more...

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If Hell Doesn’t Exist, They Need To Build It For This Guy

  • June 11, 2013 6:33 am

The 80’s weren’t all John Hughes rom-coms, neon leg warmers and “Walking On Sunshine.”

Remember this fellow?

First of all, I didn’t realize they published obituaries for inhuman monsters – true crime books about them, sure (one of my guilty pleasures), but obits are supposed to be for normal people and war heroes.

Well, the good news is, Richard Ramirez, The Night Stalker, died last Friday at age 53.  Liver failure.  Is liver failure a painful way to go?  I hope so.

In the hot summers of 1984 and 1985, he killed 13 people in and around Los Angeles by entering their homes through unlocked windows and doors.  I should clarify: he was convicted of 13 murders.  He is likely responsible for at least a half dozen others, including a nine year old girl, Mei Leung, who was killed in the basement of a Tenderloin hotel in San Francisco.  On occasion, it seems, his work required him to travel.  Read more...

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A Mix Tape For You (song 12 of 30)

  • June 9, 2013 6:54 am

Song 12: “I Believe,” Stevie Wonder

Is it possible to create a sadder love song than yesterday’s “When She Walks In The Room” by Bryan Ferry? Sure there is! It comes courtesy of Stevie Wonder. Oh, sure, on paper the line reads, “I believe when I fall in love it will be forever,” but the FEEL of the music tells you Stevie is anything but certain. In fact, he’s probably just trying to talk himself into it. We all do.

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A Mix Tape For You (song 11 of 30)

  • June 8, 2013 6:52 am

Song 11: “When She Walks In The Room,” Bryan Ferry.

Happy love songs do nothing for me. When everything is going smooth and hunky dory in your love life, great for you, snooze for us. “When she walks in the room, then you know why your date says it’s late, time to go…” Ouch. Dapper Roxy Music frontman Bryan Ferry, in this solo effort, completely captures the melancholy of love.

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CVS Drugstore Isn’t Very Green

  • June 6, 2013 6:33 am

Hey, I like a coupon as much as the next guy, but it’s gotten ridiculous with CVS the last couple years.  The receipts just go on and on and on and on.

How many trees had to die for me to get three bucks off of tampons?

 Read more...

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What’s On Eighth Graders’ Minds (the cool oddballs)

  • June 4, 2013 6:54 am

Here are the uncategorizable, most interesting semester long I-Search projects undertaken by kids at the local middle school where I tutor:

“K-Pop: find out all about this new language.”  Is that like Esperanto?

Nazis and Volkswagens!  Everyone’s favorite combo, like peanut butter and chocolate!  Read more...

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A Mix Tape For You (song 10 of 30)

  • June 2, 2013 7:27 am

Song 10: “It’s About Time,” The Pandoras.

Here they are: the poor man’s Bangles, another all-girl retro-psychedelic act out of L.A. They weren’t as talented as the Bangles, or as cute, but they did play at one of my high school dances!! I remember my gym teacher, who was one of the dance chaperones (aka alcohol cops), arms crossed, turning to me and saying, “What a bunch of hosebags.” Could I admit to him I had a crush on the tambourinist? Then again, I had crushes on all four girls in the Bangles, and, well, you already know about Siouxsie and Blondie.

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A Mix Tape For You (song 9 of 30)

  • June 1, 2013 7:18 am

Song 9: “The Real World,” The Bangles

Putting on my music snob hat for a minute (okay, it’s true, I rarely take it off), I think The Bangles peaked with their first EP, before they were famous, when they were part of L.A.’s paisley underground scene, doing psychedelic 60′s inspired garage rock (their all-boy counterpart was The Three O’Clock). Anyway, I think this song makes “Eternal Flame” or “Walk Like An Egyptian” or “Manic Monday” or any of their other big hits look like watered down cream of wheat. Just sayin’.  

Plus just look at them – were they not outrageously cute? They get even cuter at the 1:00 mark, where they go from black & white to color.

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