I don’t have a strong preference for how I like my eggs. I sometimes crave poached, and sometimes I really want scrambled well-done. I love hard boiled eggs with shoyu and easy over eggs on rice. I’m all over the place. And I’m afraid this is the reason I’m single (see Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride before the happy ending). Do you have a go-to egg order? How do you like your eggs done?

ROGER:  As a child, I ALWAYS had to have my eggs scrambled.  I would then scoop them up and put them into one slice of white bread and eat it like a taco.  At most, I would dab it in some Heinz ketchup for some flavor and effect.  It was all about keeping it simple, predictable, and consistent (though I wasn’t aware of it at the time).  As an adult, my egg preference has evolved.  I still LOVE scrambled and have it prepared scrambled 62% of the time I consume eggs.  But if I also like to have my eggs over hard.  That evolution happened when I was about 22 years old for reasons I have yet to understand.  Perhaps it coincided with the exact time I lost my virginity.  Moving on…  It’s a trickier proposition to order, over hard that is, because I like to have my yolk fully cooked AND the egg whites surrounding it not to be overly-fried and/or burned.  At most, I enjoy them with just a slight dash of salt and/or a dab of ketchup.  Again – simple, predictable, and consistent.

Funny how you bridge your egg metaphor into other aspects of your life.  For me, whether it be eggs, clothes, life design, or other life staples, it’s all the same – consistent, simple, and predictable.  And though I fantasize myself to be a dashing Indiana Jones meets International Man of Mystery, I have come to the conclusion that I am much more Ned Flanders meets The 40 Year Old Virgin.  But in my case I am married and have 2 babies (with a third coming).  So I guess I technically can’t be a 40 Year Old Virgin.  Unless, of course, I can impregnate women immaculately.  Which I cannot.  But I do have a slight resemblance to Steve Carell.  Just yellow…er.

So I guess I like my eggs simple, predictable, and consistent.  I like my life to be simple, predictable, and consistent.  Hence, my life is egg.  My egg is life.  Simply scrambled, predictably hard, and consistently boring (in a good way).

ELAINE:  I love eggs in most of their various forms (except for super well-done eggs).  And re: personal tastes and preferences, I generally, appreciate the trifecta of simple, elegant and functional in my food, films, and design.  And along those lines, eggs capture those transcendent qualities.  I imagine Steve Jobs could have invented the egg and the shell casing would have been designed by Dieter Rams (the industrial design genius behind Braun products that influenced Apple’s iconic look).  Though I have cravings for all sorts of eggs from “1000 year old” Chinese duck eggs to barely poached in the shell ones, my favorite egg hearkens back to grandma’s eggs – wok-fried in super hot oil with crispy-edges, a slightly runny yolk, doused in sweet soy sauce over a bowl of hot, white rice.

QUENTIN: Seconding Elaine, I love eggs in most of their various forms… even Chinese Thousand Year Old eggs. I think they are duck eggs and they taste so delicious in porridge. I am however not a fan of Chinese salty eggs or egg yolks in moon cakes. I rather have my eggs in something salty than mixed with something sweet. I do have three cockatiels and they were born from eggs.

As I witnessed my beloved baby bird Mochi hatching from an egg, maybe I should feel guilty eating eggs after all.

ANDERSON: I love soft scrambled eggs with Maggi sauce and hot rice. Or sometimes with a hot, toasty baguette, Vietnamese style. The secret ingredient is Maggi sauce, which was a staple in my household. It’s the German soy sauce, but is very prevalent in Vietnam.

I also like hard boiled eggs, with salt and pepper, but maybe not as much as Offender Justin, who purportedly ate 20 hard boiled eggs in one sitting. I can’t verify that story, but I’ve been told it did happen. Justin, you want to verify? And sometimes, I reach deep into my inner-Asian and go for fetal duck eggs aka hot vit lon (Vietnamese), aka  Balut (Philippines). Here’s Anthony Bourdain eating one for breakfast in ‘Nam.Yum!

And one last thing: I discovered a new way to eat Chicken Pho. Put a raw egg in the broth. It is heavenly. Check this out!

PHILIP: Scrambled all the way. Like life, things are better when they’re broken and mixed up.

DHH: Runny yolks. I am told I have high cholesterol, though I think those cholesterol assumptions need to be adjusted for ethnic differences cuz everyone in my extended family has high cholesterol, but no one has any history of heart problems. Nonetheless, just to be on the safe side, I watch what I eat. So I figure, if I’m gonna eat eggs, I want to get maximum enjoyment, which for me, means runny yolks – soft-boiled, poached, sunny-side up, over easy.

ALFREDO: “Eggs” is a code word in my house, very loaded, and it has nothing to do with the actual eating of the things.  I don’t cook.  I hate to cook.  I have no feel for it, and it makes me nervous.  So when I ask my wife (who will cook, but doesn’t really like to, either), “What’s for dinner?” rather than answering, “Figure it out yourself!” if she’s not in the mood, she’ll say “Eggs. That’s what I’m having.”  Translation: eggs are so simple and easy to make that even you, Alfredo, can’t f%$k it up too badly.  That’s when I know it’s time for me to decide between pizza and a burrito.

IRIS:  Not a huge fan of eggs by themselves.  But I love eggs benedict, Omurice (Japanese style omelets stuffed with rice) and raw egg mixed in sukiyaki sauce or sundobu.

JUSTIN: I’m a huge fan of eggs.  All styles except with salmonella.

EMMIE: I love tea eggs, similar to your hard boiled shoyu.  I think they’re about 23 cents each at the 7-11s and Family Marts in Taiwan.  Breakfast, lunch and dinner!  Mmm.

I hate runny eggs.  I don’t understand why people like them (no offense to anyone who does).  I definitely seem to be in the minority – have sat through a billion breakfasts noticing friends and family members loving the goopy yellow stuff.

BEVERLY: I like most eggs forms, but I really despise the yellow part of hard boiled eggs.  It’s totally chalky and they taste like yellow mold to me.  I formed my best childhood friendships on who would share a boiled egg with me: you take the yellow, I’ll take the white.  My friend Shiloh and I always ate boiled eggs together.

My go-to egg though is over-easy.  I like how the yellow is encrusted in the white, and with the right moment, POP!  Yellow runny-ness all over my toast and plate.  Yummy!