Most of my fellow Offenders work in the film biz (or at least are very interested in film). I’m always curious about those works that have influenced my peers, but in this case, instead of asking the Offenders what your favorite movie is, I’d like to ask what “pre-existing” movie you wish you could’ve made so…What movie do you wish you had directed, written, produced or acted in?

This isn’t necessarily the same as choosing your favorite movie because what might be your favorite might not necessarily be the film you wish you had made or been a part of.

To illustrate—since I’m mainly a writer, if I had to choose one movie I wish I had written it would be the 1981 historical epic Reds (directed by Warren Beatty and written by Beatty & Trevor Griffiths—with uncredited script work by Elaine May and others). I love Reds, but it’s definitely not my favorite movie nor is it even my favorite Warren Beatty movie (that would be Shampoo).

But what I find really inspiring about it is that it’s a 3 ½ hour big budget Hollywood movie about a Communist (John Reed played by Beatty) who basically dies at the end. That’s probably the least commercial idea for a film, yet it got made and it’s smart, engrossing, entertaining, won a bunch of awards (including 3 Oscars) and talk about a cast—Beatty, Diane Keaton, Jack Nicholson, Maureen Stapleton, Paul Sorvino, Jerzy Kosinski, Gene Hackman…

Just to be able to be a part of a studio project that audacious and to be able to pull it off successfully—what an amazing feat.

What’s your choice?

QUENTIN: I wish I had wrote and directed Scream, such a genre defining hit. It’s intelligent, fun and completely postmodern. Scream has redefined the slasher genre and changed the audience for horror movies. It’s pop culture at its most brilliant.

JEROME: Easiest question in a while – Underworld. Because if I had directed the Kate Beckinsale horror-actioner, I might have had a chance at marrying her.

DHH: Jean-Jacques Beineix’s 1981 film Diva was utterly unclassifiable — thriller? love story? French new wave? stylistic exercise? pre-multicultural? post-racial? — yet totally enjoyable, deceptively profound, and made me cry each of the six times I saw it. Not to mention, that it became a world-wide art house hit. I live in hope that we can be boldly idiosyncratic as artists AND speak to a large audience.

ROGER: Still to this day, the movie that had the greatest, emotional & spiritual impact on me was Danny Boyle’s Trainspotting. I even shaved my head to look like Mark Renton (played by Ewan McGregor) right after seeing it. It was my one and only groupie move. It was the movie that woke up my inner self to question the establishment and my relationship with it. I would loved to have been part of that creative process, in front and behind the camera. CHOOSE LIFE…

ALFREDO: The one movie my friends and I to this day quote back and forth to each other ad nauseum (seriously, we can go ten minutes without even beginning to have a real conversation) is Withnail and I. A little British movie from 1987. Not much of a story – two out-of-work actors in London in 1969 decide they need a weekend in the country to rejuvenate. It’s a small movie: a friendship coming to an end – and at the same time a huge movie: about the end of an era, differences in class, what it means to change and what it means not to change, etc.

Oh, yeah, and it’s f*&$ing hysterical.

I’ve been told The Rum Diary isn’t great, but to give you some perspective: Johnny Depp pulled Bruce Robinson, the writer/director of Withnail and I, out of retirement to do The Rum Diary why? Because Withnail and I is that f*$@ing good.

DAVID: My friends would say “David would have wanted to have directed The Shawshank Redemption, Pulp Fiction or Run Lola Run“… believe me that would have been awesome! But there is only one movie I had a HUGE passion that comes to mind that I would totally would have directed… The Hidden.

What is it?

A gruesome horror, revenge flick with an alien and human fighting the rock and roll alien trying to take over the world and above all else… a very tender drama.

I liked Kyle MacLachlan, but would trade him for the Meet Joe Black Brad Pitt.

Michael Nouri was perfect… always keeping the pace of being doubtful and secure.

There is no other film like this that among all the weirdness it takes itself very seriously without winking at the audience. Make no mistake that this is a very smart movie that in structure we get all the elements of a great action movie such as Friedkin’s French Connection and Bay’s rip roaring frenetic style and while paralleling the comedic and dramatic beats with a constant sense of sadness like… do I dare say… Schindler’s List!

Oh yes!

This movie was made in 1987, so the lowbrow themes and effects feel very dated and laughable, but that’s the movie I would make and remake and triligize it!

Movies like District 9, Aliens or Dark City will never ever ever win an award, but I know that leaving the theater feeling something deeper than just a empty calorie eye-fest makes me feel more passionate for the film arts… and in humanity.

ANDERSON: Great question! I would have to say In the Mood for Love from director WONG Kar Wai. First off, I would have way too much fun filming Maggie Cheung and Tony Leung walking around the streets of ‘60s Hong Kong at night. Secondly, I would’ve selfishly reincorporate all the once lopped off sex scenes between these two hot creatures and instantly gratified legions of hardcore fans of the film.

ANSON: Oh man. There’s a few movies I wished I coulda just be a PA on, let alone direct or write it. Right off the bat, Coming to America with Eddie Murphy would have been AWESOME! Eddie and Arsenio were the best duo back in the days. I dunno why or what happened to those two. They need to do a youtube video together or something.

My next choice would be Big Trouble in Little China. Classics of all classics. Of course it never had a great run in the theaters when it came out. And it probably was criticized for a few scenes with Kurt Russell’s classic one liners. But growing up watching cool and comedical Chinese movies and have it take place in your own backyard of San Francisco Chinatown is true perfection.

But I think if it came down to it, Revenge of the Nerds is up there with movies I’ve seen at least five hundred times, if not more…literally. Every scene, every line, every moment I can recite like I was living in that movie. I’m not sure if I’d be Takoshi, but I’m more of the Lewis slash Booger. I sing the final rap song every morning in the shower. Clap your hands everybody, everybody clap your hands. Its lambda, lambda, lambda and…omega mu—you mu’s sure know how to party!

ELAINE: Blade Runner would have been the movie I would have loved to produce. Producer, Michael Deeley had a bear of a time making this movie. They went through hell with the studios, the financiers who insisted upon the terrible voice over, and had to face a lukewarm reception from focus groups who found it too dark – and in general, most people just didn’t get it. But, for me it was one of those movies that in spite of (or perhaps because of?) the creative hell all parties endured (as wonderfully reflected in the making of documentary Dangerous Days), it remains an iconic and visionary film that so elegantly and atmospherically captures the essence of the future. The haunting design, writing, performances, score – the list runs long – all the elements continue to stand the test of time and remain ever so influential. Still decades later, David Fincher couldn’t resist being inspired and had Rooney Mara in Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, channel Tess and her racoon-eyed street urchin look right after her viciously cathartic revenge scene. The other film would be Fight Club which is one of those shocking products from the studio system that pulls no punches and has the subversive thrills of a cult movie despite being financed by ‘the Man’. Difficult to imagine a studio allowing that to happen today…

EMMIE: I would have enjoyed participating in the creation of The Sound of Music. I love the warmth and goodwill of the film.

David, I’m glad to hear you mention Diva. I saw it several times when I was maybe 12, and thought it was the most bizarre but intriguing film. My older sister was hip and watched nothing but foreign films (she watched Diva countless times) and though I kept commenting on how strange the film was whenever I’d walk past her, I’d always stop and watch as well. I love the scene with Cynthia and Jules, and “Sentimental Walk” playing.

SUNG: I was just talking about this the other day. Would have loved to been an actor, director, PA, on Weird Science with Kelly LeBrock. I had such a crush/obsession with this woman.

I had the movie recorded on a VHS tape and would watch it pretty much everyday. Sometimes twice a day. I was going through puberty so I probably did things watching this movie that I shouldn’t have been doing. Weird Science was pretty much my fantasy as a 12 year old. Two dorks that were insignificant who so desperately wanted to have a girlfriend. So they created one, a hot one at that. Only if it were that easy.

IRIS: Don’t want to make it seem like I’m stealing David’s choices but my picks are Shawshank Redemption and Gattaca. Shawshank is just so well-written and I also like the fact they show it all the time on TV so the residuals would be great. And Gattaca has one of the best lines you wish you had written–“I never saved anything for the swim back.”

JUSTIN: The Best of Times just for the first voice-over/set-up alone. What a great concept–the idea of reclaiming the past and getting a second chance through football. Football’s also a brilliant choice since that’s the only sport that has that intimate connection–between the quarterback and wide receiver, played here by Kurt Russell and Robin Williams who are awesome. Even the small details are inspired like how the name of the town in the film is Taft but it used to be called Moron, which is actually based on a real town named Taft that used to be called Moron. Everything is perfect.