Dear Spam:

You turn 75 this month and while that may not be a cause for celebration for many, I just want to say—those people don’t know shit about nothing. Otherwise, they’d see you for the wonderful creation you are.

Yes, many look down on you and make fun of you and think of you as an unhealthy “mystery meat”. Someone even named all the unwanted emails we get after you—though if I ever meet the asswipe who did that, I’m gonna kick his Spam-hating ass.

If those people took the time and effort to really get to know you and see how tasty and versatile you are, I have no doubt they would have a different opinion about you.

What other foodstuff can be used to make Spam Musubi:

Or fried rice:

Or funnel cake and ice cream:

Or doughnuts:

Or push pops:

Or many other yummy things, some of which you can read about here in our friend Michelle’s blog.

Yes, you can do it all. So I salute you and wish you happy birthday! May you live to see another 75 years. Though I have no doubt that long after the rest of us are gone, you’ll still be around, looking as proud and delicious as ever in your convenient, easy-to-open can.