Illustration by Peter W.
To My Beautiful Asian Sistas Who Are Dating White Guys:
No need to worry or get upset. This letter isn’t going to be what you think it might be considering it’s coming from an Asian American male perspective and this is a touchy subject. Let me start off by saying I have no issue with you dating white men. In fact, if you’ve kept up with my posts you’ll know that I have no problems with white dudes who have yellow fever either because, let’s face it—Asian chicks are the hottest women on the planet!
And, frankly, if you want to be with a white guy for whatever reason; whether it’s true love or you’re ashamed of being Asian and aspire to be as white as the freshly fallen snow, hey, more power to you! It’s your life so you go, girl! But if you do date a white guy, I just ask that you do one, little thing for me if you can–DON’T DATE A WHITE GUY WHO IS BUTT UGLY!
The only exception to this request is if the aforementioned butt ugly white guy is rich and/or powerful. I get it—a girl wants security and a strong daddy figure. Hey, I’m not here to judge. You know who you are:
But this isn’t always the case, is it?
I’m sure we’ve all experienced this before: You’re at a restaurant or in line for a movie and you see this super fine, totally smoking Asian chick and she’s with the butt ugliest white dude (who is clearly not rich or powerful). I mean he’s so butt ugly, you can cast him as an Orc in the Lord of the Rings trilogy and he wouldn’t require any make-up. He’s so ugly when he’s standing in the checkout line at the grocery store, the clerk hands him a paper bag to put over his head. Anyway, you see this couple and your first thought is, “what the hell is she doing with a loser like him?”
Just the other week I was eating at my favorite late-night Korean joint when I see this ugly white guy I know walk in with this absolutely gorgeous Asian babe and I was like, “What the fuck?! Did I get beamed into the Bizarro universe?” Let’s call my white acquaintance “Joe” because that’s his real name. Trust me when I say Joe is butt ugly. Plus, he must weigh 300 pounds—homeboy got back and front. He’s the laziest motherfucker I’ve ever met too; spending most of his time watching TV from his bed. He has the I.Q. of a fruit fly. If you ask him if he likes Beethoven, he’ll respond by saying he’s not into dog movies. If you ask him if he’s read Chekov, he’ll say he prefers Kirk and Spock. And the guy is dirt poor. I think Joe drives a used Yugo that he bought from an Armenian gangster for twenty bucks and a coupon for a free roast beef melt at Arby’s.
So I’m confused ‘cause what is a fine sista like this doing with a loser like Joe? And I came to the conclusion that it MUST be one of two things: either she’s the victim of a cruel sorority hazing initiation or she’s performing some sort of community service for a DUI conviction. Because the third option is too horrible to comprehend—she actually likes this guy.
Look, I know love is blind, it’s what’s inside that counts and all that other shit we tell ugly people so they don’t feel bad, but–COME ON! This madness must stop. I’m sure there’s a portion of the population that is attracted to animals or inanimate objects or fictional characters in video games, but that don’t make it right. If you are a fine Asian chick and you want to date a white guy, he should be equally hot. Anything else is unnatural.
So I’m going to lay out the truth for you–straight, no chaser: If that white guy you’re dating is butt ugly, it means you have a problem and you need help. And I’m here to help. Think of this blog as your intervention. You’ve hit rock bottom, girl! It’s time to wean yourself off ugly white men before they destroy your life.
The first step is to admit you have a problem. Look in the mirror and repeat after me, “My name is (insert your name) and I’m addicted to butt ugly white guys.” Repeat this over and over until the true meaning of these words really sink in. Don’t be afraid to let your hurt and tears out. The truth is painful but it must be acknowledged. Now you’re ready to do something about this.
You need to start hanging around places where good-looking white guys congregate. My advice is to go to where you’ll find lots of gay white men. Why? Because gay white men are some of the best looking white guys around so they will provide a safe and non-threatening way to acclimate yourself to seeing handsome white dudes as potential mates. But where should you go if you want to be around a lot of gay white men? Well–
IKEA
HALLOWEEN PARADES
AIRPORT RESTROOMS
In order to fully get past your problem, you know you will also need to break up with your butt ugly white guy bf. I know this will be difficult so let me offer you a way you can do this.
Make or purchase a Brad Pitt or Robert Pattinson mask and present it to your ugly white guy as a gift and ask him to wear it over his own face whenever he’s with you. That way, when the two of you are walking hand-in-hand down the street or making love on a Saturday night, it won’t be the horribly misshapen and mismatched eyes of your butt ugly white guy you’ll be looking into, but rather the dreamy, sparkling pupils of Brad or Robert. Soon, you will come to see these hunky white gods as attractive and can ditch your butt ugly white dude like yesterday’s blog post (which you can read here if you missed it, BTW).
Good luck!
It’s so true! I keep wondering why these women can’t at least pick handsome white dudes.
On the other hand, white women like me, who are with Asian men, more often than not end up with the hot ones.
juliet, the reason for that is two words,
white privilege..!!
lol
If it were the other way around (fugly Asian girl with hot white guy), then this issue would not be such a sore spot for Asian men. Hell even if we’re talking about an average looking Asian women with poor ugly white guys, we wouldn’t have a problem. To each their own.
But just like you, Philip, when I see a hot Asian girl with a poor fugly white guy, I’m thinking to myself, “Damnit, why can’t I be that poor fugly white guy with the hot Asian girl?!”
Seriously though, AF/WM pairings don’t bother me as much as when an AF publicly denounces Asian men and says, “I don’t date Asian guys.”
Dating, attraction and relationships are personal things, so to publicly crap on men who resemble your father, brother or friend puts a bad taste in people’s mouthes. Even non-Asians find such comments pathetic, condescending, disrespectful and disloyal.
You know… now that you mention it, there are white guys who date ugly ass Asian girls too.
Good blog post though Phil.
By the way, I wasn’t implying in my above comment that I am ugly or anything. People say I am pretty, and I try and believe that.
You know what? These Asian women with the ugly white dudes are just leaving more Asian guys for the white gals.
You know what? These Asian women with the ugly white dudes are just leaving more Asian guys for the white gals.
That’s the spirit!
I tend to date hot white men… however more often than not they also seem to be hot GAY white men… so maybe the reasoning to date ugly white men is there’s a high chance they could be straight!
There is a high percentage of hot gay men…
Alpha said, and I agree — “…Seriously though, AF/WM pairings don’t bother me as much as when an AF publicly denounces Asian men and says, “I don’t date Asian guys…”.
Have heard it so many times if subject comes up — “Why shouldn’t I be able to date anyone I want to date,” they say. Sure, go ahead, no racism here re dating, I’ve dated in Los Angeles and our diversity is a wunnerful thing.
But here’s my point — sista, if you’re selecting only the white male, that isn’t my racism or anyone else’s but your own.
I applaud all the white guys that want to help us take the ugly asian chicks off the market. Thank you. Drinks on me.
Three words: Green Card Hunter.
Some of my best friends are fobs, but seriously… nothing’s sexier than an express ticket to citizenship. This is not to say all fobby sistas are hiding from the INS; a green card could be seen as a metaphor for acceptance into American society, the majority culture, or the fantasy American life portrayed in Hollywood.
Note that this phenomenon isn’t even limited to fobs. Female ABCs can be just as insecure about fitting in and escaping the excruciating and constant embarrassment foisted upon them by their fobby parents over most of their developmental years.
Now call me judgmental/racist/sexist, but when I spot a beautiful sista and then see her walk up to her fugly white schlub companion, that woman immediately drops several notches on the attractiveness scale for me. It’s like seeing a hot Japanese chick open her mouth to reveal a police lineup of crooked-ass shark teeth.
Self-esteem isn’t only an attractive trait in men. Have some confidence in your bad selves, ladies!
Why can’t black guys get any asian love?
I love these topics. They’ve been around forever and I’m glad the author went out of his way to take this very sticky subject light-heartedly. The thing is, people should be able to date whomever they choose, right or wrong. And the bit about feeling disrespected when a AF says they don’t date Asians is retarded no doubt, but still, it’s her choice. I mean, some people really enjoy Britney Spears, however terrible her music is, we can’t fault someone for being stupid right?
Anyhow, the bottom line is this. Asian guys can’t take it personally. It’s the AF’s problem really and it just shows how uncultured and closed minded she is if she downright eliminates 1/6 of the world’s population out of their dating pool because appearance.
Living abroad, I see the male caucasian-asian female thing a lot. Asian women are smart, and a bit ruthless. They know what they want, and do whatever it takes to get it. Just the way things work in the world, so take it easy guys.
I am an AAM by the by.
I wouldn’t advise anyone to ‘take it lightly.’
If a black or Latina woman refused to date their men, and dated only White, imagine the uproar. I’ve heard some.
Here’s my last point, sorry to re-hammer, I’m done after this — I think there’s a problem if you refuse to love, or make love to, someone who looks like you.
I’ve been curious about AA females who ‘refuse to date AA male’ and their childhood/adolescent-era relationships with their fathers and/or brothers. My rudimentary interpretation of Jung’s take on psychosexual development, is that essentially one’s relationship with members of the opposite sex (specifically key figures as mother/father, brother/sister) throughout early childhood/adolescent development (when kids become aware of the other sex) will influence the kind of mates they are attracted to and will attract. So, it’s possible that AA women who grew up with doting fathers who spoiled them are likely to look for an AA “daddy figure”, those who grew up with a dysfunctional relationship with an AA father who was engaged in their lives but potentially abusive may seek the same in an AA mate if they haven’t recovered from those issues (eg: AA women who are attracted to psychodrama and intense AA men), and those AA women where their father was absent or perhaps diminished by a domineering mother may be the ones who have no interest in AA men. I imagine a woman who had a healthy relationship growing up with her father and/or brother(s) is unlikely to outright marginalize AA men from her dating pool. So for all those new AA fathers out there, pay special attention to your daughters as you may be the biggest (subconscious) influence on their eventual dating preferences.
This pop psych theory of course relates to those women who may be acting out discriminatory practices in their dating preferences but are ultimately, motivated by warm and fuzzy emotions and values. As far as those who are as MacLu put it “green card hunters”, looking for someone to pay the bills, social status, etc. well then it’s pretty straightforward (and mercenary, pragmatic, cynical, or what have you); their motives are about opportunity costs, not physical or romantic attraction.
I’m a Korean American male and I tend to date attractive Asian girls who claim to not really date Asian men. I love to turn them around on their fucked up thinking. Recently, I’ve been dating attractive white girls which I’m finding to be somewhat exotic in a different way. But I agree with one of the comments above regarding the girls’ experiences with childhood or assimilation. For years I wouldn’t date Korean girls because my mother was… less than ideal. But eventually I got over it and found the shared cultural experiences to be enough to get me over the bias I had against Korean girls. I suggest that Asian people that are interested Asian girls or guys with this problem be persistent but patient. The reward is so good.
I’m totally fine with Asian women dating white guys. Why? Because white guys tend to be attracted to the ugly ones. They take the left overs that none of the Asian guys want. I find this to be an efficient allocation of Asian women.
As for the ugly white dudes…. tell me you haven’t seen hot white women date some ugly ass white guys too (who have a shitload of money). It’s not problem with Asian women – it’s a problem with women in general.
I am a handsome white guy.
I get along just fine with Asian girls.
It’s attraction, baby.
I’m an average looking white dude and have always had an attraction to Asian women. Probably due to the positive meetings I had with Asian girls and women when I was a kid. I spent several years in Korea, Japan, China for work….and there was nothing better than getting that call or knock on the door at 5 in the morning from some incredible model type beauty for a early morning roll in the sack. Sometimes I never knew who she was, but most of the time she came bace. Ahhhh, Asian women!
Just browsing the net n I stumbled on this post. Got me laughing and giggling. It’s real creative. Then I read the comments… and fuck, my adrenaline started jumping.
Alpha Asian, Rich, Finewidit n Joe, you talk with the most confidence but you all sound so brainfucked its amazing. Please get your heads out of your asses.
First of all, this does not apply to young Asian women alone. You’ll find it a universal thing that a lot of young ladies out there tend to go for older males, or a lot of younger males go for older females. It’s really nothing new.
Second of all, they have their own reasons, and it may even be love, either way it’s none of your business. Just because you’re what, ‘white’ or ‘male’ or ‘hot’, or whatever shit it is, does not mean you have the rights to be stupid fucks. This is the 21st century, not the 14th.
Third of all, it has nothing to do with you. Stop making it personal and feeling sorry for yourselves. It’s their lives and their decisions, not yours, so back off and let it be. Everybody’s different, and that applies to females too you fucks. If an Asian female, a Latino female, white female, or black female doesn’t want to date their own race, it’s their decision/problem. It’s not like there aren’t any males out there that are like that, so stop trying to make yourselves look supreme. I would think it’s damn right asinine, but who the fuck wants to be with someone that close minded anyways. Not all females or males are that way so stop wasting your time and his/hers if she/he doesn’t want you.
Fourth of all, looks aren’t everything. They tell you nothing. What difference would it be between you and the AF that says she doesn’t date AMs if you only date slim girls, for example.
My point is, at least try to look at the reality instead of only things that support your own dumb mind.
I’m pure AF, baby
. N I’m proud of my heritage.
In response to DarrellKuni’s:
“Here’s my last point, sorry to re-hammer, I’m done after this — I think there’s a problem if you refuse to love, or make love to, someone who looks like you.”
So, you would find incest to be perfectly normal.
Well, I’m not surprised, considering the fact that KAs are oh-so-comfortable about calling potential mates “brother” or “sister.”
You know, I think most people usually don’t get attracted to, go out, or sleep with their brothers and sisters. As a matter of fact, the kind “let-down” that girls usually give to boys is: “Oh…but you’re like a brother to me.”
q, you took my post and turned it on the wrong head, pal. The incest logic angle — so off-course I hope your vehicle comes equipped with GPS.
I’ll re-word and leave here
– If you are an Asian, or of any API sort, foreign or domestic, and cannot relate nor love someone who looks like you…I think you can complete the sentence.
C, “…If an Asian female, a Latino female, white female, or black female doesn’t want to date their own race, it’s their decision/problem.” Rant this to the black sisters I know. Or Latinas. Prepare to duck and cover.
Jus’ sayin’.
I am telling to one Real story of me & my girlfriend. So, My girlfriend and I are doing really well and we’ve been together for three years. We haven’t really gotten in a serious argument. She has expressed her wish for have an open relationship dating sites for the past couple of months. We both agreed that we enjoy and sometimes need an open relationship would be good. If you are read the more story then you can go this sites. http://www.adultxdating.us/blogs/open-relation-acknowledged-at-dating-sites/
[...] super hot. I’ve even supported my Asian American sistas who want to date white dudes as long as they don’t date ugly white dudes. But I never imagined that this issue might one day hit home for me on such a personal level. [...]
I was at the Border’s bookstore on Powell St. in SF,CA once and saw this hot Japanese girl with this ugly a$$ homeless looking white boy and guess what? She even paid for his drink. It’s really sad when the choose guys based on color rather than on merits. I used to think J-girls were of value, but have found that the aftermath effects of Atomic bombings have left them weak minded and cowering in fear and adulation of those who made them radioactively sheepish. I guess the exodus of J-girls to America is due to the fear that their beloved island will be bombed again.
I live in a Midwestern college town and everyday I see a Asian women with a white guy. Everyday no joke- no lie. I think its sad!
Omg, it’s getting worse! I thought it was only CA and NY and now even in the midwest?!! Is there no god? When will the insanity end and asian girls will be left to only get facials at the beauty salon, to receive packages only from the front door and lastly to allow pubescent looking mounds to grow some turf? If I had a shot of estrogen for every time a white female got dumped for the asian femme fatale I’d be a mad angry racist like Rosie O’donnell and still wouldn’t crave roosters in my mouth!!!
Those guys in the photos are truly disgusting and the first two women definitely married them for money.
Do you really think Wendy (in the first pic) gets turned on looking at Rupert Murdock naked? That old coot did you Asian guys a favor by taking this KNOWN chickenhead off the streets.
The woman is the 2nd photo (Julie Chen) has had a TON of plastic surgery. You can look up her “before” pictures on the web. Not a pretty sight.
Anyway, I am a white woman who loves Asian men. I have dated both white and Asian, and just have had better experiences with Asian guys. There are very few Asian fatties, and they just look and smell better to me.
I just want to clarify about Julie Chen’s pre-surgery photos. I meant that it was not a pretty sight what she did to “de-Asianize” herself. I think she looked fine before the knife.
To each their own, I’ve seen my share of ugly ass Asian guys with pretty white girls, and these self hating AMs that make facebook and myspace groups about only dating white girls because AFs remind them of their sisters and cousins. And to Darellkuni who mentioned that there’s something wrong with a person not having sex with someone that doesn’t look like them, well you can go and have sex with your mom and sister all you want. Leave us crazy people out of it.
Christy wroteAlpha Asian, Rich, Finewidit n Joe, you talk with the most confidence but you all sound so brainfucked its amazing. Please get your heads out of your asses.
Christy, take your own advice and pull YOUR head out of your ass. Nobody here’s taking it personally, except for you, ranting on a AF/WM IR post that peaked your interest at 4:08 AM on a Saturday morning.
Like I said, and I’ll say it again in case it wasn’t clear the first time: to each their own. Dating and relationships ARE personal. It is nobody else’s business.
But when an Asian woman verbally makes a public announcement that she doesn’t date Asian men, then she’s made the personal public and her relationships are fair game.
That’s the point, Christy. I could care less if an Asian female who is not my wife is going out with a non-Asian.
So cut out the hostility.
[...] AN OPEN LETTER TO MY BEAUTIFUL ASIAN SISTAS DATING WHITE GUYS [...]
If Asian men stopped expecting their girlfriends and wives to treat them like God because they were born with a penis, maybe white guys with their more egalitarian attitudes would stop being so attractive to Asian girls.
Are the readers over here aware that 75% of all interracial couples are Asian Female/White Male couples. Do you think for a moment that there is true romance in these relationships especially with all these self-hating AFs advertising their preference for dating WM while bashing AM for everything (most of which are not true) for being “geeks” to their “ugly physical features”. Sad to say, there are plenty of self-hating female racists within the Asian race. So what do these sick AFs do? They seek out and only date WM.
Unfortunately this does not apply to the other races. Most Whites, Blacks (with the exception of a few white women chasers) and Latinos overwhelmingly prefer to date within their own race. This is not racist. A person will always prefer to date someone from the opposite sex who shares common cultural values. This however does not apply to AFs who have rejected their cultural heritage and are totally ashamed of it. So, they have decided on dating WM only. (After all, Black, Latino and Asian men are not good enough for them.) Since most WM prefer to date within their own race, the AFs will have to settle for the rejects and the odd ones i.e. those with yellow fever. Do these dumb self- hating AFs think some successful good-looking WM will settle for an AF. They are more likely to settle for some striking blond haired blue eyed model. As a result, most (not all) have to settle for WMs at the bottom half of the barrel.
I know of 3 WM/AF couples where the WM is unemployed and the AF has to work overtime to support the both of them. I’ve also heard of a WM/AF couple that loves to poke fun at Asians and Asian culture. All the self-hating AFs care about is having a WM – any WM. I hope this answers the author’s Q.
I have another idea on this.
Maybe they’re both butt ugly/average.
When Asians think of beautiful Asian chicks, they think of the pale, big-eyed, child-like girls with features that were probably obtained by surgery.
When non-Asians think of beautiful Asian chicks, the image is a more realistic one, with less makeup, less plastic surgery, mature, and more tanned.
My point is, people have a very different perspective between races. I blame the media for marketing K-Pop stars to Asians and heavily made up celebrities to westerners. Many people tend to have unrealistic standards of beauty for their own race but not for that of others.
Therefore, that hot Asian chick may not think she is hot because she doesn’t resemble a k-pop star and doesn’t have the things Asians like in other Asians. She also doesn’t think the white guy is that bad-looking either and feels that it’s alright because he treats her well.
A variation of this can also explain the hot WM/ugly AF pairs. It sort of just depends on who the observer is. To a third person they may both just be average on the attractive scale. Then again, maybe the pretty chick just has a thing for white guys but that’s the hottest one she could get because the hotter ones don’t care for Asians.
This is an interesting topic. It seems that you wanted her for yourself. Next time you see that girl, you should let her know you think she’s hot too. In person. Often times, girls bypass the better choice because he seems uninterested. Asian males need to stop being so shy. It’s simple, but it’s important.