So disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong has admitted to Oprah Winfrey that he has indeed taken drugs and previously lied about it. No matter what you may think about this admission, there comes even more shocking news uncovered by CBC News. Check out this unbelievable headline:

So not only did Armstrong use performance-enhancing drugs but he was also apparently using rugs. And we all know the unfair advantage any athlete has if they’re using rugs.

I mean—just look at how tempting these rugs look:

I don’t know a single athlete who would not be inspired by the intricate beauty of rugs to the point that it would give them a leg up against their competition. And that is just not right. Shame on you, Mr. Armstrong! Shame on you and your blatant use of rugs! For shame! And to clarify, I mean “shame” in a bad way, not in the good Michael Fassbender’s penis is really huge in “Shame” way.

And remember kids, just say no to rugs.

(via Happy Place)